Recollection Day

Yesterday, we had our recollection. I wore my lolita shoes and everyone's like wow-ing with it. Haha. >:)

This year's recollection wasn't that awesome; there was no crying and stuffs unlike in the past year. I was wishing that Bro. Edo, our Junior Glee Club adviser who is now in Liceo de Calamba, to be the one to "talk" to us, but it was Bro. Baldemor instead.

We were bored the whole day. As usual, the class was formed into "groups". There are six "groups" in our class, for me. Karen's group, Jorvina's, Eirish's, Cha's, the boys' group, and our group (which is me, Jette, Steni, Koleen, and Jayson).

Because we were bored and really getting sleepy, we did nonsense and stupid things. We barely listen to Bro. Baldemor. Haha. We're baaad. >:P

The only "highlight" to the recollection was the message for the classmates. And it turned out to be like an open forum. Nicakim and Ruiz cried. The kept irritation to one another was said. We lacked cooperation and unity, I noticed. In class activities, they just rely on somebody and won't exert effort. Bahala na. We do things on the last minute. And we won't listen to each other. Mapuputol na lang ang litid mo kakasaway, pero walang mananahimik.

And then, there was the "groupings". I told you our class was composed of groups. It is not really bad to have a group where you belong, but what's ugly with it is we don't mingle with the others. We stay on our group, and that's the root of lack of cooperation. Because we don't open up with the others.

Our "group" was mentioned two times. We don't mingle with the others, they say. I don't know. For me, we talk and laugh with the others as well. Except for Eirish's and Jorvina's group, because... I don't feel like talking to them that much. They have... attitudes, and they're personalities don't fit mine. And you cannot force me to talk and mingle with the people whose personalities don't click with mine.

There was not a single day in the class that no one bitched out with the other. Everyday's always a laughing day, but beneath it all, somebody would always say something bad with each other. I witness it. Even I do some bitching too.

There were some people in the class that I sort of pity. There were some of my classmates that were always... hated and dislike and bullied.

We said sorry to each other afterwards. If I were to be asked, I would like a real open forum so things would be cleared up. I know there would still be bitches and jerks after this. I know it. It's not over. We'll just be back to our old selves again.

After the recollection, we had mass. I was the only choir in there since the first four section had their recollection last week. So I sang in solo. It was okay, except that I sang the offertory song instead the Kordero.

Me: "Bawat huni ng ibon, sa pagdampi--"
Bro. Baldemor: *whispers* Kordero, kordero..
Me: *startled a bit *"Kordero ng Diyos na nag-aalis.."

LOL. I was grinning with myself while singing. But honestly, I didn't feel nervous or embarrassed. Just a little amused with myself. Yan ang nagagawa ng makapal ang mukha! XD

We went to the Main Building afterwards. I immediately looked for the Glee Club. I found them in the Music room and they were only a few of them. And there were only few of them. They just started practicing, and they only practiced one song. I was really irked. The Basil told me they couldn't attend the morning practice because they'll have to practice for Songfest. Bau said the Peter went to a birthday party.

They went on singing some other unnecessary song. I was telling them we have enough time to learn the recessional song but they told me to just sing it next Saturday. Mr. Bautista wasn't around either.

I feel really, really annoyed. I was starting to have a long face. When we were about to go to the church, the others went on and I waited for Ayyah to but snacks. And I was telling her how annoyed I am. And then, stupid tears started to streak on my cheeks.

I was so annoyed. I am so annoyed with the my classmates, with the choir, with my friends, with every people around me. I know it's stupid to be annoyed like that, but I can't help it. It seemed that I always give efforts, doing everything to do my best in everything, and yet people don't appreciate a thing. People rely on me, making me do all the work, but they get the credits afterwards.

I am annoyed with my classmate because they don't cooperate. In activities, they share with my grades that I've worked on. I couldn't just lie down because I want the best, but I couldn't get anything from these people. But in the end, when things turned out wrong, I get all the blame. I would hear hurtful things. I was the wrong one, the stupid one.

I am annoyed with the Glee Club because they seem to join the choir to be excused from class. Para magpasikat sa iba. But I couldn't feel that we're serving. They, or we (I would include myself here), attend the mass so they could be exempted from their household duties. But who are we serving in here? It is all for Him, for HIM. But I bet he doesn't feel the love and the passion in our songs at all.

I am annoyed with myself because I was too plain stupid. For doing all these. For not being able to be like them who just sit and let things the way there are. For giving and giving despite all the pain it cause me.

It was really a recollection day. Because I realize how people treat me, how I treat myself. We're all bitches and jerks, I know, and those bitches and jerks continue to destroy each other.