UPCAT

This is one step toward a new beginning in my life. The life I would enter in a few month's time. The thing I both dread and excite about. College.

I know it's unlikely for me to pass in the most prestigious university in the country. Having not reviewed seriously and all. I know for a fact that I shouldn't keep my hopes high, yet inside me, I wish that I will pass. I think that I can pass.

Armed with my faith in God and faith in my luck I journeyed to Diliman, Quezon City for the University of the Philippines College Admission Test. I'm counting on my stock knowledge, pure luck, and on the Good Heavens to be on my side today.

Mama and Iverie accompanied me. On our way to UPD, Mama and I talked about college. And she said I could go to Pamantasan ng Maynila, or Philippine Normal University. Yay! College in Manila is possible now!

I was actually thinking about PNU since Mr. Luna's taking his masterals in there. But the university I really target is PUP Sta. Mesa. I told that to Mama today, but she doesn't agree because that's too far and all. I suggested PUP Taguig, and she half-agreed.

Pero PUP Sta. Mesa pa rin talaga ang gusto co. Siguro mapapapayag co rin si Mama, ngayong nakumbinsi na siyang sa Manila aco mag-aaral.

It was drizzling. We're already in PHILCOA and just a ride away from UP and several teenagers were in the same jeep we're rode. I'm sure those are UPCAT takers too.

I was awed and dazzled when we reach the UP campus. It is so... big. I mean, hanwalak niya! Wow. I really dreaded college because I'm not yet ready to leave high school and all the things I love about it, but seeing UP, I was like... "Wow!". I suddenly became excited about college, being into a big community, meeting new people...

But as I saw other UPCAT-takers--intelligent-looking teens, sophisticated girls who wore dresses and miniskirts--I suddenly felt fear. I could see girls that looked like they'll be attending a party, mature-looking fourth year high schools who talked with each other in English in a well-articulated tongue. There are no gangly high schools boys like those in my class, but instead, males who wear eyeglasses that made them look genius and ready to be a college.

For an awkward moment, I feel so simple and gauche. Wearing pants and simple shirt and plain single braid, I feel ordinary. I sure look pale beside those girls. Kung bakit kasi hindi co naisipang magbihis ng bonggang-bongga ngayon e!

I feel so "little". I feel that I look like a "probinsyana" that stepped in Manila for the first time. I don't feel smart at all. I could almost see what I look like and what I could be like in college: a loner girl in a corner, so plain and simple that one wouldn't mind to take a second look. On that awkward moment, I felt insecurity. Fear in college--not the fear I felt before, but a new, uncomfortable fear.

For a moment, I remembered Jette and Steni, who would be taking UPCAT is UPLB. Would it be different if I'm decided to take UPCAT in Los Baños? Would I feel this kind of insecurity and fear? Perhaps not, because I'm not surrounded by city-bred teenagers. For a swift moment, I wished I decided to take UPCAT in Los Baños, so my self-esteem won't be a liitle shattered like this.

But the thought quickly went away. I want and I would be taking my college in Manila, in the city of Manila. This is just a foretaste, I told myself, and there is yet more to come. It's better this way so I know what I will expect on college.

We still waited for a couple of minutes. At 12:30, the guard asked us to line up, and we went up to our designated room.

I was expecting a normal room--just like what high school does--because that's what I saw in the second floor window. But we entered an air-conditioned room, the floor was stair-like like the one in American colleges. Yay! Ang cute, pang-college na pang-college talaga! (Yeah, I know I sound so childish).

So this is it. The UPCAT.

I was the first in line so I was seated on the corner at the back, the highest step in the stair-like floor. The proctor talked kinda fast while giving us insturction especially on the Personal Data Sheet so I end up shaking the wrong circles for my middle name. Inulit co pa tuloy.

Language Proficiency was the first subtest. It was actually okay, though I didn't answered about three questions. I concentrated on the "sentence arrangement", almost trying out every choices. Tapos biglang 20 minutes na lang ang natitirang oras and there were still about 40 questions left. I was panicking a bit, but I told myself to calm down. I rushed in answering the questions, but it seemed that I wouldn't make it on time.

When the proctor finally told us to stop answering, there are still 10 questions left. Shit! Hindi co nasagutan 'yon!!

Next was Science. Di co lang talaga alam yung mga tungkol sa Chemistry dun. Salamat sa naging teacher co sa Chem nung Third Year, wala talaga acong alam. Stock knowledge na lang rin yung iba.

Then the bloody Math. Gawsh, grabe! Puro radicals! E hindi co nga alam yun e! Tapos puro find the value of the variable chuva. May iba pang mga symbols na hindi co maintindihan. Naghihintay aco ng mga isi-simplify na algebraic expression (dahil iyon lang ang alam co XD), but to my dismay, wala. In short, I guessed most of my answers.

After the bloody Math, Reading Comprehension naman. It was quite okay, medyo nakakalito lang kasi halos lahat e possible answer.

Ranking of the subtests for me ("easiest" to the most diffucult):
1. Reading Comprehension
2. Language Proficiency
3. Science
4. Mathematics

Actually, hindi siya naman talaga ganun kahirap. I mean, marami kasing nag-iisip na super hirap ng UPCAT at mga brainiacs lang talaga ang makakapasa. But it was actually the kind of exam you would expect in a university like UP. It's difficult, but not impossible to pass. Actually, kung nag-review ka talaga, hindi magiging masyadong mahirap 'yon para sa'yo.

E kaso ang problema, di naman aco nag-review. x[

Hindi na rin kami nag-ikot sa UP kasi gumagabi na at umuulan pa. Sabi co, hindi kumpleto ang UP experience co kung hindi co makikita ang Oblation. Wah, di co na ba talaga siya makikita?

Pero nung palabas na kami sa UP campus, habang nasa jeep, I saw the famous Mr. Oblation. Yay! My UP experience is complete!

Super traffic sa may Bicutan, kaya nagtagal pa kami sa byahe. It was already 9:30 when we reached Festival to eat our dinner in KFC. At habang kumakain, sabi ba naman ni Mama na baka daw mag-board aco kung makakapasa aco sa UP.

Ack! Bakit ngayon niya sinabi, kung kelan tapos na? Sana pala nag-aral aco! Sheda!

Maybe the only thing I feel sorry about is that almost 10 items in Language Proficiency that I was unable to answer. Madali na kasi yung dulo kasi Filipino na lang, di co pa nasagutan! Sayang yung points! Maybe, just maybe, if I were able to answer that, may kahit maliit at katiting na chance acong makapasa kahit LB lang. Tutal, English-related ang course co. Malay mo, pumasok sa quota.

Pero hindi co nasagutan. : (

College. College. I dreaded you but you excite me too. What kind of surprises and experience will you give me? Ah, I somewhat fear you. I guess I'll just savor my high school life 'til it lasts.