Because Christmas is just a few days away

December 16

Mikmik invited me to sing in their Parish for the Simbang Gabi. Mass will start at 4am but they said that I should be in Landayan at 2:45am because I have to practice my solo, which I haven't perfected yet. But since Eday would be coming with me (because my Mom didn't allow me to travel to Landayan at that wee hour alone), I told them that we would be there at around 3am. Adrian's busy at school, and I didn't want to disturb him that much.

I woke up at 1am, 30 minutes earlier than my alarm. I was texting Eday but I didn't received a single reply. I was even calling him, but he didn't answer his phone.

I went to their house (which is just a few steps away from ours). Their door was still closed. I went inside their compound, and while the dogs were barking at me, I called for him. It was his grandma (I think), who opened the door. I asked her if Adrian was already awake, and then he called Eday and woke him up. Ayun, tulog pa pala siya. He went to the door and muttered a surprised and apologetic, "Ibyang!" with his hair still ruffled. I told him to take a bath already and I'll just wait outside their compound. It was about after 15-20 minutes when he went out and we strode to the tricycle terminal. We were the only passengers and I have to pay 35 pesos. Ako muna yung nagbayad para mapabilis kami.

We looked for the STC (St. Tarcisius' choir; Mikmik's choir). We're not going to sing at the choir loft, sa baba daw kami. They were in front, at the corner. There were seats reserved for us. JanJan was there too.

Kuya Paul was the one who sang the Psalm. So, I sang Simeon's Canticle at the Communion. My solo wasn't... that that I've expected. I mean, it's okay naman, but not what I was expecting from myself. I admit I was a bit disappointed. Naku, kasi e, it was so cold because it was just dawn, plus the aircon inside the church was open, and add the big electric fan which was turned to our direction. So I was sucking all the air and mouth was getting dry.

Of course, I know I shouldn't be blaming other things. Okay na din naman yung kanta. I just promised myself that I'm going to sing it better the next I have the chance.

We ate breakfast at the convent. Kuya Darwin was telling that next time, he wants a girl to sing the Psalm, and then, he's looking at me. I cast my eyes down. The heck. I don't like to sing the Psalm. Not until I am good enough to do it.

We rode a tricycle back to school. Maye's mother payed our fare. Haha.

Ang aga ko tuloy pumasok ngayon. Exam was okay. Math was a bit easy (haha. yabang!), through I was a bit confused at the last part.

December 17

Last day of classes for 2009. We didn't have a Christmas party. Because we're in a Catholic school, we're expected to be one of our brothers who had been affected by the typhoons. So Advent Mass lang ngayon, and other sections will just have simple party. Kami, wala. We're the only section in fourth year who wouldn't even have a simple Christmas party. Blame our ugh adviser. :(

I woke up at around 1am again and made our thesis for only about less than two hours. It wasn't still complete though. I attended the second Simbang Gabi with Louis. We saw Cha after mass. It was only 5:30 when the mass ended. We waited at the gate of Liceo, which wasn't still opened. Later, Kuya Guard let us in. Naawa yata sa'min. XD

We ate puto bumbong at plaza. I don't usually eat puto bumbong, unless someone invited me to. The first time I can remember that I ate it was last year, after the Simbang Gabi where we were the choir. It happened to be Eday's birthday too.

And I realized now that I tasted good. Yum yum! :)

I went home for a while to get my reindeer headband (which I got from Koleen). The six of us were supposed to wear that today, but Koleen wouldn't go to school today, kaya wala din. But I took it, still.

Louis and I, together with Alexa, waited for Jette and Steni at the gate. Alexa wore my reindeer headband. Haha. We waited for them for about an hour; it was almost 7am when they came.

I was still trying to finish the thesis. Dammit, our English teacher didn't even teach us how to do it. I bet other teachers would be laughing at us when they saw the theses our class made, because we just "invented" our own way to do it. DX

I went to Lea's classroom because she said she will give something from me. A Christmas gift! Yay! And guess what was it? A shirt! A yellow shirt (in case you didn't know yet, I hate the color yellow). She said she gave a red shorts to Adrian too (Adrian has "phobia" in red clothes, that's why he doesn't wear them). Naunahan niya nga ako e. I was planning to give him a red shirt on his birthday.

Even it was yellow, I really appreciate Lea's gift. Really. I think I'll wear it when I went to Eday's new house at Langgam on his birthday because I was planning to surprise him. :)

After a few minutes, I received a message from Eday telling that they were in the church already. Dalawa pala ang misa. So Ayyah and I hurriedly went to church. Good thing it wasn't starting yet.

I asked Ayyah to correct our thesis. I was planning to ask Mr. Luna to be our thesis adviser. I just can't approach him because he's really... intimidating. He seemed to held his head high whenever he walks. Pero kalog naman siya pag kami-kami. Kaso nahihiya talaga ako e.

So we had two masses. Arbu and I were the only one who sang the new recessional song because the others didn't know it, but I taught it to them so we all sang at the second mass.

After the mass, Sir Bautista indirectly scolded me about the Simbang Gabi. I agreed to Ate Beth that we will sing for the December 23 4am dawn mass kasi. Mr. Bau's voice was stern and I had to fight back the tears. Kasi, ayaw din siguro niyang tumugtog sa'min. I can notice it.

He went down after that and I talked to my members. JanJan, Sir's son, who told me it was okay to sing at the Simbang Gabi, was now telling me to cancel it. Of course I couldn't cancel it, because I've already agreed on it. On the other hand, before I agree on it, I asked them if they could come and they said yes. Tapos ngayon sinasabi nilang ipa-cancel na lang.

I'm close to tears. But at the back of my mind, I told myself that I wouldn't cancel it. Paninindigan ko to.

I talked to them as calmly as possible, and the tears just rolled down. I told them that we're not merely singers, but we serve to. That's our purpose in being a choir right? To serve Him through our voices. And as the president of the Glee Club, I wanted us to participate in the Church. I was always being scolded by the Music Ministry President during meetings because we barely participate in Church activities.

The former presidents had always been doing what Sir Bau says. I mean, the choir hardly changed since first year. We remained the way we were. And as this school year's president, I wanted to be the change. No kidding. I may sound corny, but I told them that. I've been trying to do changes. I'm trying to teach new songs, and attend meetings even I always got scolded. Because I wanted to do and leave something good to the Glee Club before I graduate. Before I leave. I don't want to be a president who just follow what our coordinator says; I wanted to take the initiative.

I told them that if they joined this club to earn extra-curricular grades, I'm not. I joined because I wanted to serve the Church. I wanted to serve Him. I told them that it's just one sacrifice we can do to him. To wake up early to sing for Him, no matter how far our houses were, or even there won't be public vehicles at that hour. If He sacrificed for us, why can't we? Birthday gift man lang namin sa Kanya.

I said all of it. I know I'm being corny, but I also know that what I'm saying is true. I know I may sound like a preaching priest, or a political candidate asking for votes, but I'm just saying what I feel. Gladly, they seemed to be... moved. Haha. I smiled at my corniness, and ask them who can come. The number grew, and we went down. And I was happy. I hope they'll really attend the dawn mass at December 23. :)

Uwian na pagkabalik ko sa school. Well, yung section lang namin, kasi wala naman kaming party. Karen gave me a gift and I warmly thanked her. It was a coin purse. Haha.

I went to Gregory's room and told Mikmik that I could probably come tomorrow for the mass. Mr. Luna told me that there is a mass for the APTA at 3pm later. He seemed approachable so I asked him if he could be our thesis adviser.

"Naku, ang dami ko nang hawak." He told me. I pouted a little. "Pero bigay mo na lang sa'kin mamaya."

I beamed and told him I'll just put it in his table later.

Catherine was inviting me to go with them at Festi, but I told them I can't. Magco-choir pa kami mamaya e. So I went home and slept and did our thesis. When I got back to school, magsisimula na ang mass. Puro Basil nga lang e, who just came from their "shooting" for their Arts project. Walang Peter, nasa party. Sabi nila makaka-attend sila.

Nag-stay pa ako sa school after mass because I need to get Koleen's USB from Mrs. Cacao, and have my TLE project checked. I placed our thesis at Mr. Luna's table. Kulang pa nga yun kasi wala yung history ng Liceo. Wala, revised din yun. Haha.

Basil was making their advertisement. Ang kulit nga e. We didn't ate after mass dahil nga sa advertisement nila, but Ayyah's mother brought food for us. I even talked to her mom and asked her to allow Ayyah to sing on 23. She agreed, and Ayyah was so happy.

I went home after I got Koleen's USB and had my project checked, and greeted the teachers a merry Christmas. Hay, next year ko na ulit sila makikita.

December 18

Dang, I wasn't able to wake up for the Simbang Gabi. 6am na ko nagising. Wala na, di ko na kumpleto.

Mama allowed me to sing in Landayan for the 3pm mass. Hindi rin naman siguro counted sa "Simbang Gabi" kahit magsimba pa ako ngayon.

Eday wasn't with me because they moved to Langgam today. I texted JanJan but I doubt if he received it. So after I got my ESC scholarship paper at the registrar, I went alone to Landayan. I was a bit early. Mikmik said that I'm gonna sing tomorrow for the wedding mass at 3pm in Bayan. Duet daw kami ni JanJan.

I told him that we're gonna have practice tomorrow in Glee Club at 3pm. But I wanted to sing for the wedding mass too. I haven't sing for a wedding before. So after contemplating about it, and consulted Arsie, I moved the practice to 4pm. Tutal 7pm pa naman ang mass.

"Naku, bigay kayo ng bigay sa'kin ng mga kanta e." I mildly complained. Though I like it naman. I mean, I wanted to serve, and I like what I am doing, so it's okay. Kaso, syempre, baka kasi may masabi yung ibang mga members na babae. Okay naman sila Kuya Paul (their President), and Kuya Anton, but I wasn't that close with the girls (like always).

Kuya Darwin made me sing Simeon's Canticle at one part of the mass. I'm glad I was able to sing it well now. Haha.

After that, we had practice for the wedding mass tomorrow. Di dumating si JanJan, so si kuya Paul yung kaduet ko. His voice is so good, so manly, pero... tagilid kasi yun e. Haha.

Mikmik, Kuya Anton, and Kuya Paul sang "Sa'yo Lamang". "Masterpiece" daw nila yun. Grabe. While they were singing, I was having goosebumps. They repeated the chorus for 8 times, and each time they repeat, kuya Darwin transpose the notes higher. GRAAABEEE talaga. I was close to tears. I mean, sa sobrang ganda ng pagkakakanta nila, kikilabutan ka talaga. Grabe, I was squeal. SUPEEEER!

It was dark when we decided to go home. Sabay kaming umuwi ng Kuya Darwin and we talked about random things about the choir on our way. I bet Nicakim is dying to be in my place. >:D

6 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!~ YAY

Failed

Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.

I really felt so stupid. Utterly stupid.

I failed in our Second Monthly Examination. Got 29 out of 60. Equivalent to 74%.

And I am such a moron.

The test was actually easy. Really, the first part of the exam was a chicken. Multiplication of polynomials. Shet.

And the reason why I failed is because I wasn't able to answer Test I-B. Not because it was hard or I didn't know how to answer it. It was because I forgot to answer it.

I got sort of confused with the last part, and I got low score on that too. But it was forgivable for me because I didn't know what I will gonna do with that. I just couldn't take that I failed because I forgot to answer that stupid part. Shit.

Ayoko pa naman ng ganun. I don't like leaving blanks on my test paper, kahit 'di ko alam ang sagot. Feeling ko kasi, natalo ako ng walang kalaban-laban. I don't like losing without fighting. Without giving effort.

But there, I failed. And what's annoying is that part really easy for me. I wouldn't have failed if I answer that. Sheda. Dahil nakalimutan lang. Engot.

Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.

Nakakainis talaga. At nakakahiya. Nung nagrerecord na si Mr. del Rio, sabi niya, "Ang baba Nobleza ah. Nako, bababa grades mo nito." He said my score was even lower than Nortez.

I was a little bit whining over that. Really, I was surprised to know that I forgot to answer that test. Because I thought I actually answered it. Jette and Steni sort of comforted me. Monthly lang naman daw 'yun. And at least, I am good at English, they said. Jette enumerated the positive points about me, like I could speak in good English, and I sing well. Things that he cannot do, not every people can do. Sabi niya, there might be a reason for that. Like there would be a blessing to come in exchange for that.

And it made me somewhat better. I mean, I got to realize that I am still lucky. I told myself I'll really make up that failed monthly exam in my recitation. I'll really make up on it. The feeling of having a failing score--especially in a major subject--is not good. Totally awful.

Medyo nakarecover din naman ako. I am the not the kind of person who sulks over things for a long time. Hindi ako ganun grabe manghinayang. I don't know if that's good or bad.

Really, I would try to make up for it.

NCAE: Survived!

Last Wednesday, August 26, we, the fourth year students, had taken the National Career Assessment Examination. And finally, we survived it and that dreadful exam ended!

Well, it wasn't the actual exam that was dreadful. It was pretty easy, actually (yabang!). But we peed blood and blades during the preparation for it.

Weeks before the test, our normal classes were shifted to review classes for the NCAE. I think we started the review as soon as the First Monthly exam was over. Our schedule was changed, as well as some of our teachers.

Because we're kinda late in lessons and haven't really taken everything we need to take up, there are so many lessons we tackled during the review, especially in Math. It was as if the teachers are trying to put in every information that they can in our mind with that little time, so effect was not very successful.

Well, that was in my case. I did absorb information in other subjects, but Math is a different case. There are a lot of theorems and formulae to be memorized, and it was taught in such a fast pace. It somewhat made me dizzy.

Plus, some teachers--who were probably lazy to teach lessons--just gave us questionnaires to be answer and not teaching at all.

The lessons we had taken were the ones that appeared in First Quarterly exams. And every section in fourth year level took the same exams. And because we had different teachers during the review, different teaching styles and abilities, of course some sections and students weren't too lucky at all.

And probably our section was one of those "unlucky ones". The review classes just got me dizzy and confused and they were full of alien-ish things. Especially and most especially Mathematics.

I don't wanna think about the First Quarterly exam. Because of the fact that I didn't review for it and the fact that some of the lessons were new to me, I really peed blood and blades.

So, I was fortunately not late at the day of NCAE. I was late during the first and second dry-run, 'ya know, and I was told to make a five-page narrative report to state the reason why I was late during the second dry-run. Mou.

The dry-runs means nothing to me. Well, maybe not really "nothing", but it was quite insignificant to me. Bahala na. I didn't care about it that much. I didn't review for it too.

But at the day of our NCAE, before the test started, at the time we lined up in the quadrangle, it was then that I feel excited about it. And a little anxious too. I got excited and a bit anxious for it's outcome, in what score I will get. Because it would be another step in my way to college.

The actual NCAE wasn't that bad, really. Even Math wasn't too hard. Well, if I was given two hours for the Math, I will probably get a fair score. Maybe 40 or so over 60 items. (My right answers in the dry-runs were barely above the half of the number of items, btw. 8D)

They say Science was hard. Even harder than Math, according to my classmates. Well, it wasn't really awful for me. The questions were mostly "situation" types, mostly about scientific method and general science. If I were to choose between an examination like that and an exam which contains mostly Chemistry, I would choose the first. I don't know much about Chem, 'ya know, all thanks our Chem teacher back in third year.

It was the English that I was anxious about. I need to score high on that because my course would be an English-related course, and I'm quite bothered with it. Not that is it that hard, but it wasn't too eay either. Some questions kinda confused me, too.

They say some school asks for the results of the NCAE, some does not. But whatever kind of school I get into, whether they ask for the NCAE result as a requirement or not, I wished that mine will be okay. Because I want to take a course that I really like, a course that fits me right.

Good luck to us fourth years! We can do it! Ganbatte!~

gala

last day na ng exam! sa wakas!

maayos naman ang aking exam. sure naman aco sa aking mga sagot. suprisingly, nadalian lang aco dun sa math. nahirapan lang aco dun e sa identification dahil di naman aco nag'review. statistics na kame at mejo madali lang naman siya.

--

pagkatapos ng exam e tambay muna kame nila apple sa school. sila ayyah, eday, at iba pang third year choir e nasa mai stage dahil magpa'practice sila para sa concert sa foundation day. puro nga sila wordsworth at aco lang yata ang choir ng third year na hindi kasama sa kanila, dahil aco lang naman ang third year choir member na non'star.

ang hirap talagng maging odd one out. sabe ni sir e kakanta nga daw aco ng solo sa concert, pero hindi co alam kung matutuloi pa dahil wala naman xang sinasabe si sir.

but this isn't about the performance itself, but the fact that i am performing with them--the people who are important to me--matters. sa choir kase halos nandun na ang mga kaibigan co, ang mga taong gusto cong makasama. kaya nga naglu'look forward aco sa saturdays kung saan mai practice at kanta kame at sa iba pang practice kasama sila. at ngayon, dahil non'star aco, dahil iba aco, e di co man lang sila makakasamang mag'perform. hindi talaga maiwasan ang mga harang at pader sa pagitan ng star at non'star.


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umuwi muna aco para kumain at magbihis. super ligo nga aco dahil ang inet e. bumili muna aco ng sim co ng globe. retailer sim. P200.00 nga e!

at nung pagdating co sa school, jusme, di naman daw pala tuloi ang practice. nagsukatan lang kame ng pang'costume.

mga 2 o'clock pa lang, kaya super gala kame ni ayyah sa SM. nyahaha!

mai Twilight na pala sa National. kaya lang, yung maliit na Twilight yun e.

wala lang, ikot'ikot lang kame. kumaen ng waffle at ice cream.. nyahahaha!

mai nakita pa nga kame na lalaki na naka'Akatsuki na jacket. ang cute nga nia e!! kaya lang, pang'totoy pa ang itsura. parang mga 13 or 14 lang. malande..

super picture na naman to the max:




















hay nako. sana pwedeng parating makipag'bonding with my friends.

exam

haay. grabe. exam week na naman. ka'itsurahan na naman ng test co. haha! =D

first day ng exam k=anina. bale ang ite'test e AP, TLE, Computer, PE at Arts.

AP at TLE nga lang ang ni'review co dahil wala naman acong libro sa Computer. wala din acong libro sa MAPEH pero sa tingin co e di din naman aco magre'review dun kahet mai libro pa aco.=

medyo maaga pa yung pasok co dahil nasa bahai si mama, so mai nag'asikaso kai iverie papasok.

di co na dinala yung AP book "co". pagdating co, tinanong co kung anu ba yung pointers sa AP dahil di naman aco sure dun. takte, aralin 12-14 daw pala!? e yung ni'review co e 12 at 13 lang e.

so todo cram naman aco. di co nga matandaan na diniscuss yun e. aah.. ou, diniscuss nga yata kase mai Mansa Musa chuva acong nakita e.

pumasok na kami sa room dahil nandun na si Sir Payawal. grabe nga, super dami ng late e. grabe.

dahil nga monitor aco, nasita aco dun sa attendance. panu kase, lasog'lasog na. e sabi ni sir ayusin co daw. e naman kase, panung di magkakalasog'lasog e pinang'hahampas nung ibang teacher kapag na'iinis sa'men. kawawa na nga yung itsura e.

habang super cram aco sa pagre'review sa AP, binigai na yung reservation letter. sabe co pa nga e, "nako, tapos hold daw yung clearance co."

naisep co, parang.. hmm, parang nakaka-"depress" (di aco maka'isep ng right term e, basta, less sa depress) aco kung maho'hold aco.

at ayun nga, nung aco na, sabi ni sir. "Ivy, hold ang reservation mo." akala co naman binibiro lang aco ni sir kase super ngiti pa siya saka yung boses parang pabiro. ayun pala totoo. under observation lang aco hanggang friday.

pero sa totoo lang, okai lang sa'ken. di aco na'depress or what. basta, okay lang, parang normal lang.

e sabi naman ni sir sa'ken, ang laki daw talaga (talagang with matching yung sinabi niya e. wala lang, feeling co it makes a difference) yung pinag'improve at pinag'bago co, unlike nung last year at nung umpisa daw. kaya lang ngayon, medyo nawawala na naman daw aco sa sarili at bumabalik sa dati. pero okai lang, totoo naman kase talagang super ingay co at minsan ay di mapigilan ang bunganga co. yung bulong co nga, sa totoo lang, rinig ng buong klase. magugulat na lang aco na magtitinginan sa'ken ang mga classmate pati na teacher co kahet yung katabi co lang yung kausap co.

oh well, mai hanggang friday pa aco.

--

okai lang naman yung AP. madali lang siya, in fairness, pero siguro e mai mali'mali pa din aco kase nakalimutan co yung iba e.

yung TLE namen, okay lang din. madali din. haha! =D

grabe nga sila kat e, open book! nakow.. buti di napansin ni sir. e nasa likod co lang yung mga iyon e, e nasa tapat lang aco ng teacher's table.

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ang daya nga ni jayson e, umabsent! e ang dami cong sasabihen sa kania e: itatanong co yung tungkol sa play namin, yung bayad sa TLE, papa'edit ng picture, chuva. tapos umabsent lang! wala tuloi acong partner in crime.

sabi nga nila nakaka'miss nga daw si jayson (yeeha!). ayun, tapos chika glaore na nung recess. naungkat pa nga yung sa kanila ni le-ann, klung sila daw ba. blah blah.

todo daldal e. kaya ayun, sa awa ng langit, di aco nakapag'review sa computer.

grabe nga yung computer co e, puro stock knowledge lang talaga, as in, yung sagot co dun. di nga kase aco nag'review. buti na lang marami naman sagot co.

tinanong nga ni sir kung madali lang daw. e an'dameng nagsabi ng mahirap daw. e parang sabi pa ni sir ang dali'dali na nga daw nung exam super reklamo pa. pero in fairness, madali nga siya kung tutuusin, lalo na kapag nag'review ka. e aco di naman aco nag'review pero mai sagot aco na medyo tama naman siguro.(yabang!) kaya madali nga lang medyo.

yung PE at Arts namen, grabe, super pattern. test 1. pabaliktad na abc, tapos test 2, true lahat. false pa sila ng false e true sagot co. haha! buti nga, tama daw yata yung sagot co e. nyahaha! =D

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di muna kame pina'uwi agad dahil dumaan pa si sir baez. sinabe na yung mga ECS at EVS scholar e wag mag'absent ngayong week dahil mai bibisita na naman yatang chuva. ang saya nga e, from 5000, baka maging 7000 na yung scholarship namen next school year. yehey!

tambay muna kame sa school nila kat at apple. e nakita co sila ayyah, nilapitana aco. sila eday din tinawag aco para ayusin yung "last will" ng seniors sa Gatekeeper. waah! kame na yung tagapag'mana!

medyo ka'guilty nga dahil naiwan co sila apple e. e puro star na kasama co. haay. ang hirap talaga ng conflict sa non'star ng star students. nasa non'star aco pero ang mga tinuturing cong totoo cong kaibigan e nasa star halos lahat. pero anong magagawa co, nami'miss co na sila ng sobra e. haay.

ang kulet nga ni ayyah, tinalian aco ng super high na pigtails. napag'usapan kase namin na mag'cosplay sa bakasyon. e naisip co na si Amane Misa ng Deathnote ang i'cosplay. super tuwa nga siya sa itsura co, jusme.

o, eto kung itsura co with my high pigtails: (nasa bahai na aco nito)






dahil tanghali na, kakain na sila. niyayaya nga aco ni ayyah na sumama sa chowtrip e. e ayoko sana dahil uuwi na aco. e pinilit niya aco e, tapos lilibre niya pa co. hahaha! =D pero miss co na talagang makipag'bonding sa kanila. parang yung di co pag'attend sa choir ng isang sabado--na tanging araw lang sa linggo na nakakasama co sila--e napaka'laking bagai.

ayun, todo kulitan sa chowtrip. todo okrayan. as usual, aco na naman target. buti nga di aco masyadong bad trip kaya okay lang naman.

haay.. namimiss co na talaga sila! sana parating ganito, yung pwede cong maka'bonding yung mga kaibigan co.