Because Christmas is just a few days away

December 16

Mikmik invited me to sing in their Parish for the Simbang Gabi. Mass will start at 4am but they said that I should be in Landayan at 2:45am because I have to practice my solo, which I haven't perfected yet. But since Eday would be coming with me (because my Mom didn't allow me to travel to Landayan at that wee hour alone), I told them that we would be there at around 3am. Adrian's busy at school, and I didn't want to disturb him that much.

I woke up at 1am, 30 minutes earlier than my alarm. I was texting Eday but I didn't received a single reply. I was even calling him, but he didn't answer his phone.

I went to their house (which is just a few steps away from ours). Their door was still closed. I went inside their compound, and while the dogs were barking at me, I called for him. It was his grandma (I think), who opened the door. I asked her if Adrian was already awake, and then he called Eday and woke him up. Ayun, tulog pa pala siya. He went to the door and muttered a surprised and apologetic, "Ibyang!" with his hair still ruffled. I told him to take a bath already and I'll just wait outside their compound. It was about after 15-20 minutes when he went out and we strode to the tricycle terminal. We were the only passengers and I have to pay 35 pesos. Ako muna yung nagbayad para mapabilis kami.

We looked for the STC (St. Tarcisius' choir; Mikmik's choir). We're not going to sing at the choir loft, sa baba daw kami. They were in front, at the corner. There were seats reserved for us. JanJan was there too.

Kuya Paul was the one who sang the Psalm. So, I sang Simeon's Canticle at the Communion. My solo wasn't... that that I've expected. I mean, it's okay naman, but not what I was expecting from myself. I admit I was a bit disappointed. Naku, kasi e, it was so cold because it was just dawn, plus the aircon inside the church was open, and add the big electric fan which was turned to our direction. So I was sucking all the air and mouth was getting dry.

Of course, I know I shouldn't be blaming other things. Okay na din naman yung kanta. I just promised myself that I'm going to sing it better the next I have the chance.

We ate breakfast at the convent. Kuya Darwin was telling that next time, he wants a girl to sing the Psalm, and then, he's looking at me. I cast my eyes down. The heck. I don't like to sing the Psalm. Not until I am good enough to do it.

We rode a tricycle back to school. Maye's mother payed our fare. Haha.

Ang aga ko tuloy pumasok ngayon. Exam was okay. Math was a bit easy (haha. yabang!), through I was a bit confused at the last part.

December 17

Last day of classes for 2009. We didn't have a Christmas party. Because we're in a Catholic school, we're expected to be one of our brothers who had been affected by the typhoons. So Advent Mass lang ngayon, and other sections will just have simple party. Kami, wala. We're the only section in fourth year who wouldn't even have a simple Christmas party. Blame our ugh adviser. :(

I woke up at around 1am again and made our thesis for only about less than two hours. It wasn't still complete though. I attended the second Simbang Gabi with Louis. We saw Cha after mass. It was only 5:30 when the mass ended. We waited at the gate of Liceo, which wasn't still opened. Later, Kuya Guard let us in. Naawa yata sa'min. XD

We ate puto bumbong at plaza. I don't usually eat puto bumbong, unless someone invited me to. The first time I can remember that I ate it was last year, after the Simbang Gabi where we were the choir. It happened to be Eday's birthday too.

And I realized now that I tasted good. Yum yum! :)

I went home for a while to get my reindeer headband (which I got from Koleen). The six of us were supposed to wear that today, but Koleen wouldn't go to school today, kaya wala din. But I took it, still.

Louis and I, together with Alexa, waited for Jette and Steni at the gate. Alexa wore my reindeer headband. Haha. We waited for them for about an hour; it was almost 7am when they came.

I was still trying to finish the thesis. Dammit, our English teacher didn't even teach us how to do it. I bet other teachers would be laughing at us when they saw the theses our class made, because we just "invented" our own way to do it. DX

I went to Lea's classroom because she said she will give something from me. A Christmas gift! Yay! And guess what was it? A shirt! A yellow shirt (in case you didn't know yet, I hate the color yellow). She said she gave a red shorts to Adrian too (Adrian has "phobia" in red clothes, that's why he doesn't wear them). Naunahan niya nga ako e. I was planning to give him a red shirt on his birthday.

Even it was yellow, I really appreciate Lea's gift. Really. I think I'll wear it when I went to Eday's new house at Langgam on his birthday because I was planning to surprise him. :)

After a few minutes, I received a message from Eday telling that they were in the church already. Dalawa pala ang misa. So Ayyah and I hurriedly went to church. Good thing it wasn't starting yet.

I asked Ayyah to correct our thesis. I was planning to ask Mr. Luna to be our thesis adviser. I just can't approach him because he's really... intimidating. He seemed to held his head high whenever he walks. Pero kalog naman siya pag kami-kami. Kaso nahihiya talaga ako e.

So we had two masses. Arbu and I were the only one who sang the new recessional song because the others didn't know it, but I taught it to them so we all sang at the second mass.

After the mass, Sir Bautista indirectly scolded me about the Simbang Gabi. I agreed to Ate Beth that we will sing for the December 23 4am dawn mass kasi. Mr. Bau's voice was stern and I had to fight back the tears. Kasi, ayaw din siguro niyang tumugtog sa'min. I can notice it.

He went down after that and I talked to my members. JanJan, Sir's son, who told me it was okay to sing at the Simbang Gabi, was now telling me to cancel it. Of course I couldn't cancel it, because I've already agreed on it. On the other hand, before I agree on it, I asked them if they could come and they said yes. Tapos ngayon sinasabi nilang ipa-cancel na lang.

I'm close to tears. But at the back of my mind, I told myself that I wouldn't cancel it. Paninindigan ko to.

I talked to them as calmly as possible, and the tears just rolled down. I told them that we're not merely singers, but we serve to. That's our purpose in being a choir right? To serve Him through our voices. And as the president of the Glee Club, I wanted us to participate in the Church. I was always being scolded by the Music Ministry President during meetings because we barely participate in Church activities.

The former presidents had always been doing what Sir Bau says. I mean, the choir hardly changed since first year. We remained the way we were. And as this school year's president, I wanted to be the change. No kidding. I may sound corny, but I told them that. I've been trying to do changes. I'm trying to teach new songs, and attend meetings even I always got scolded. Because I wanted to do and leave something good to the Glee Club before I graduate. Before I leave. I don't want to be a president who just follow what our coordinator says; I wanted to take the initiative.

I told them that if they joined this club to earn extra-curricular grades, I'm not. I joined because I wanted to serve the Church. I wanted to serve Him. I told them that it's just one sacrifice we can do to him. To wake up early to sing for Him, no matter how far our houses were, or even there won't be public vehicles at that hour. If He sacrificed for us, why can't we? Birthday gift man lang namin sa Kanya.

I said all of it. I know I'm being corny, but I also know that what I'm saying is true. I know I may sound like a preaching priest, or a political candidate asking for votes, but I'm just saying what I feel. Gladly, they seemed to be... moved. Haha. I smiled at my corniness, and ask them who can come. The number grew, and we went down. And I was happy. I hope they'll really attend the dawn mass at December 23. :)

Uwian na pagkabalik ko sa school. Well, yung section lang namin, kasi wala naman kaming party. Karen gave me a gift and I warmly thanked her. It was a coin purse. Haha.

I went to Gregory's room and told Mikmik that I could probably come tomorrow for the mass. Mr. Luna told me that there is a mass for the APTA at 3pm later. He seemed approachable so I asked him if he could be our thesis adviser.

"Naku, ang dami ko nang hawak." He told me. I pouted a little. "Pero bigay mo na lang sa'kin mamaya."

I beamed and told him I'll just put it in his table later.

Catherine was inviting me to go with them at Festi, but I told them I can't. Magco-choir pa kami mamaya e. So I went home and slept and did our thesis. When I got back to school, magsisimula na ang mass. Puro Basil nga lang e, who just came from their "shooting" for their Arts project. Walang Peter, nasa party. Sabi nila makaka-attend sila.

Nag-stay pa ako sa school after mass because I need to get Koleen's USB from Mrs. Cacao, and have my TLE project checked. I placed our thesis at Mr. Luna's table. Kulang pa nga yun kasi wala yung history ng Liceo. Wala, revised din yun. Haha.

Basil was making their advertisement. Ang kulit nga e. We didn't ate after mass dahil nga sa advertisement nila, but Ayyah's mother brought food for us. I even talked to her mom and asked her to allow Ayyah to sing on 23. She agreed, and Ayyah was so happy.

I went home after I got Koleen's USB and had my project checked, and greeted the teachers a merry Christmas. Hay, next year ko na ulit sila makikita.

December 18

Dang, I wasn't able to wake up for the Simbang Gabi. 6am na ko nagising. Wala na, di ko na kumpleto.

Mama allowed me to sing in Landayan for the 3pm mass. Hindi rin naman siguro counted sa "Simbang Gabi" kahit magsimba pa ako ngayon.

Eday wasn't with me because they moved to Langgam today. I texted JanJan but I doubt if he received it. So after I got my ESC scholarship paper at the registrar, I went alone to Landayan. I was a bit early. Mikmik said that I'm gonna sing tomorrow for the wedding mass at 3pm in Bayan. Duet daw kami ni JanJan.

I told him that we're gonna have practice tomorrow in Glee Club at 3pm. But I wanted to sing for the wedding mass too. I haven't sing for a wedding before. So after contemplating about it, and consulted Arsie, I moved the practice to 4pm. Tutal 7pm pa naman ang mass.

"Naku, bigay kayo ng bigay sa'kin ng mga kanta e." I mildly complained. Though I like it naman. I mean, I wanted to serve, and I like what I am doing, so it's okay. Kaso, syempre, baka kasi may masabi yung ibang mga members na babae. Okay naman sila Kuya Paul (their President), and Kuya Anton, but I wasn't that close with the girls (like always).

Kuya Darwin made me sing Simeon's Canticle at one part of the mass. I'm glad I was able to sing it well now. Haha.

After that, we had practice for the wedding mass tomorrow. Di dumating si JanJan, so si kuya Paul yung kaduet ko. His voice is so good, so manly, pero... tagilid kasi yun e. Haha.

Mikmik, Kuya Anton, and Kuya Paul sang "Sa'yo Lamang". "Masterpiece" daw nila yun. Grabe. While they were singing, I was having goosebumps. They repeated the chorus for 8 times, and each time they repeat, kuya Darwin transpose the notes higher. GRAAABEEE talaga. I was close to tears. I mean, sa sobrang ganda ng pagkakakanta nila, kikilabutan ka talaga. Grabe, I was squeal. SUPEEEER!

It was dark when we decided to go home. Sabay kaming umuwi ng Kuya Darwin and we talked about random things about the choir on our way. I bet Nicakim is dying to be in my place. >:D

6 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!~ YAY

Grades and Headaches

Cards' Giving Day

Thursday (October 1) was our not-so-expected cards' giving day. It was supposedly on Monday, but since classes was suspended, it was moved.

It wasn't that exciting or dreadful. I mean, we didn't really expect that our cards would be given that day, so we have no time to be excited or to dread.

The Top 10 honors of the star sections were announced before our cards were given. Adrian wasn't around because of TOBS and because Dizon always saying he is Adrian's "twin", Mrs. Suinan jokingly called him to be Eday's proxy. We were all laughing over that loudly that I got a special mention from Sir Cejero over the microphone. Ugh. Palibhasa ako yung kitang-kita kaya ako lang ang nasita e. @_@

After the announcement of the star sections' top 10, we back to our room. After some minutes of waiting, Mr. Dela Torre distributed our card. Really, I wasn't that nervous, just a little anxious about my grades, especially in Math and Physics.

Almost everyone got a low grade in English. Well, it was expected, because Mrs. Lopena was really mad with us at the first quarter (though I must say she’s changing, huh? Ü). Jette and Jayson’s grades were okay, as well as Steni’s. So when my turn came to get my card, I didn’t look at it right away and waited until I reached my seat. When I finally looked at it, I flashed a grin because I got somewhat good grades. My lowest was EP (84), and I was contented with the rest.

Until Jayson borrowed my card to look at the grades. And he said that my Physics was 81. 81!? WTF!? I though he was joking or what so I immediately grabbed my report card from him. And the grade I saw in my Physics really weakened me.

Science: 81

Really, I didn’t know what I happened on my grade in Physics. My monthly exam was okay; I think I was the highest or one of the highest on that. And although I didn’t get high score in my quarterly exam, it wasn’t that low either. I always recite too, and my quizzes were, well, okay. The only setback was my notebook, which I passed late, and my seatworks (I think), which I barely seriously do.

Wala, break the record ako. Last year, I got my lowest ever since I started schooling, and that was in my Geometry under Ms. Macasaddu. 82. Now, I got an even lower grade than that. Physics: 81.

Pero hindi naman ako ganun “nagdamdam” dun. I mean, Mrs. Suinan is really an awesome teacher. Really, she’s one of my favorites. And I know that the grade she had given to me was the grade she thinks that I deserve. Kung siguro e hindi siya magaling magturo o mainit ang ulo niya sa’kin, magrereklamo pa ako. Pero wala naman akong maiaangal sa kanya. I learned many things from her, and she treats me nicely. Sabi ko nga, okay lang yun. Kasi, aanhin ko naman ang mataas na grade na alam ko naman wala akong natutunan di ba?

So, this was my grade for the First Quarter:

Religion IV: 91
Filipino IV: 89
English IV: 87
Mathematics: 87
Science IV: 81
MAKABAYAN: 88
AP IV: 87
TLE IV: 89
MAPEH: 90
EP IV: 84
CAT: Passed
Computer IV: 88

It wasn’t that high. I got only two line of 9. T_T I was surprised to get an 87 in Math; I was expecting 84 or 85. I think I was the highest in English since Jayson and the others got 83 or something in it. Most of my grades were line of eight, but I was pretty much contented with it. Para sa’kin, okay lang na hindi kataasan ang grade ko ng First Quarter, kaysa naman bumulusok the next quarters. At least, tataas o maintain na lang ang grades ko.

On our EP time, the top 10 were announced. Jayson was the fourth, I was the third, Steni was the second, and Jette was the first. Todo kantyaw nga kami kay Jette e. He got an average of 89 something. Ako 88 point something; points lang din ang nilaman ni Steni.

Actually, saying talaga yun si Jette. Magaling naman, napakamahiyain lang at hindi nagrerecite. Sayang lang tuloy ang grade. Kahit alam niya, hindi siya sumasagot o masyadong nagpapartcipate sa klase. Kaya nga parati kong nakakatyawan e.

Okay lang naman ang ranking ko sa klase. I was really after good grades, not good rank. Kahit naman mababa ang ranking ko, basta maayos ang grade ko, ayos lang. Naku, yung Science lang talaga humatak sa grades ko e! Super pull! Pero okay lang, si Mrs. Suinan naman yun e. Bawi na lang siguro ako. c:

First Friday Mass and English Month’s Culminating Activity

As usual, we served at the choir for the mass. I didn’t eat breakfast, and my head was throbbing a little when I got to school. Actually, rosary pa lang medyo nahihilo na ako.

Ang echos nga kasi nag-solo pa ako sa isang kanta sa first mass kaya nakantyawan pa ako ng mga kaklase ko nung bumalik ako sa room para magbihis. Culminating activity din kasi sa English e. When the second mass started, my head really hurts. My surrounding was spinning and I was feeling dizzy kaya napaupo ako. Hindi na ulit ako nakatayo kasi sobrang nahihilo na ako. Na-touch naman ako because my choirmates showed concern to me. Umalalay na lang ako sa kanila. Inalalayan pa ako ni Ablay at Remo papuntang school.

Nagsimula na kaming mag-ayos for the culminating activity. I was even somewhat irked inside kasi parang ako lang talaga yung officer na gumagalaw during the whole month. Nakakaasar kaya. Parati na lang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan. I’m not implying something here, nabu-bwisit lang talaga ako.

Pagkatapos ng culminating activity at around 3 o’clock, in-announced na tuloy ang Field Trip Monday. Ugh. Nag-uwian ng maaga, pero sabi k okay Ayyah punta kami sa kanila. Sumama din si Lea. We watched the movie ‘Up’. Umuwi rin ng maaga si Lea, at sumunod na rin ako after a few minutes kaya hindi na rin naming natapos yung pinapanood. I just borrowed the DVD.

Ang daya pa nga ng driver ng jeep na nasakyan ko pag-uwi, hanggang sa boundary lang ako binaba. Kadugaan e. At dahil sinumpong ako ng kakuriputan, nilakad ko na lang paauwi sa’min. Haha.

Classes Resumed

I prepared for school excitedly because I'm really glad that classes have resumed. Though I'm still doubting it if there are classes or not because of the news, I went happily to school, and saw other Liceans walking their way to school.

As usual, we assembled in the quadrangle for the daily rosary. Though it had been continuously raining for days, this morning was a sticky and a little warm. And irritating. I let my hair down pa naman.

A certain first year section was the one who led the rosary. And I was really pissed with the first year level eversince because they're bunch of... irritating kids. And I was even more irritated with them when a certain girl sang the songs in a really really really out of tune way. I don't know why it really got me pissed, but they just make blood boil.

I went to Basil's room because Ayyah asked me to take home some of her things last Friday because she have lots of things to bring home. And I was about to return it her. But she wasn't in the class. Uh. The choir members in Basil started to apologize for not coming last Saturday. Of course I understand. They asked me what happened, and who attended, and I started to tell them what everything happened. Everything. And they were laughing and teasing me afterwards.

I went back to my room. This morning was quite uneventful. I was laughing and teasing and laughing and joking and laughing really hard with Jette and Steni and Jayson like we always used to.

We all forgot to bring poster/water color for our Arts class. And I forgot to bring my sketch pad. We were asked to draw and paint an animal using the primary colors only. We could mix them up if we wanted to achieve other colors, though.

And because I didn't have my sketch pad or my poster paint, I didn't do anything. Well, I could find a way so I could draw, but really, I'm not in the mood. x( And I don't like drawing or writing when I am not in the mood. Especially it's an animal! And I am not good in drawing animals.

Inokray-okray namin yung gawa ni Jette. He was supposedly drawing a turtle, and well, it looks like a cave. Haha. And then we did something on it and it looked like a cap. I was really laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.

I went home for lunch. And Mama left the key inside the house! We tried to open it, but it won't open. I told her that we should break the door. She called on the landlady, and good thing she have duplicate keys. Yay!

Mama need to go to office at 1pm, so I used the computer. The phone rang at quarter to two, and it was Ayyah. She was asking me--no, ordering is the right term--meet her in MiniStop. She skipped her morning classes because she woke up late, and we had agreed last night to see each other and babble together. I told her I was using the computer, but she's persistent. The little witch. She gave me 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes. And I still had to take a bath and all.

It was raining again when I went out of the outside. I frowned at the weather. Not that I hate the rain--I love it, even--but this is all too abnormal.

Ayyah wasn't still in MiniStop, so I went back to my house to get her things she asked me to bring home because I forgot it. I saw her at the street. Because MiniStop was somewhat crowded, we went to 7eleven and bought coffee. We talked and babbled about things, and I told her na naiinis ako sa kanya at kay Lea dahil naglulumandi sila, samantalang ako e hindi. It's unpeyr!

At that moment, I realized that my friends are growing up. Even Ayyah and Lea. For a swift moment, I felt panic at one corner of my heart. Because Ayyah and Lea are like me in some ways, and we've seen each other lives, and they aren't really girly-girly girls, just like me, kahit pa sabihin may mga kalandian kami sa katawan. And they're growing up, while me, I'm being left behind.

But really, I am happy for them. Kinukunsinti ko pa nga ang mga kalandian nila. 8D

And maybe, it was because they're growing up, and me, I matured... emotionally. And the situation that I am into doesn't allow me na magmalandi, because the identity my special someone should be kept a secret. *shot*

We went back to school five minutes before 3pm. My socks were already soaking when we got to school because of the rain and I couldn't keep like that for three hours, so I went back home to change socks. I gave Dizon my bag so I wouldn't be accused as late. But I realized that it will all be the same--my socks would be wet again by the time I reach school, so I grabbed a pair of wedges instead. Besides, my shoes were soaking too.

Jette and Steni were wearing slippers, and they told me na super heels ako. They were teasing me about how small my feet were. Like me always defense, I answered them that I would be a 'thing' to the Chinese because I got little feet, and Chinese are rich! Haha! Dizon even smelled my feet (really he placed his nose on it!), and it's smelly daw. HAH! I snicked at him and just raised a brow because I know they don't smell. He even measured my feet with a ruler. Eight inches! XD

Mr. del Rio, by some miracle, didn't attend classes. There were a lot of absents too and we were just twenty-something. We didn't had our English class too. And they kept on teasing and teasing me about my feet. Okay lang naman, I'm pretty much contented with who and what I am and I don't really care if I am small or what. Small things are cute, btw! *shot*

I went to Basil's room so I could walk home with Ayyah. I saw her crying at the locker's area with Revilla comforting her. Lea came and we comforted her together. Uhm, I think I know the reason. And when I asked her, I was right.

"Anu ka ba, 'wag mong pinapansin yung ibang tao nu. Hayaan mo nga sila. Sinong bang nagkakasala, ikaw ba? Hindi. And besides, aanhin mo ang mga taong hindi ka binibigyan ng importansya kung alam mo namang may mga kaibigan kang handang i-accept ka. Nagtatampo ako sa'yo, kinakalimutan mo na yatang may mga kaibigan ka! Nandito kami o!" I told her.

She hushed later. And before we went home, we headed first to PEAC to pray.

I decided to make my Arts activity tonight. I even asked my friends in YM what animal is good to draw. Miya said,a bird (Ibong Adarna! XD); Karu-chan, a parrot; and Ariane... a carabao! LOL. I chose the parrot. Here's the finished product:

Although it wasn't really that awesome, I'm proud of myself because I was able to draw an animal. Yeeha! Btw, the thing that the parrot is looking into is a snail. The colors weren't really that good in my webcam. DX

Nothing Really Matters

No, no. This is not an angsty post. And though this one is days late, I'll still post it now. :)

Though I usually keep a confident attitude, I also get worried about what other people will think about me. I am such an eccentric person, and often misunderstood too. I know people have different opinions about me--positive ones, and probably more negative thoughts.

Though I say that people's opinions don't really matter, of course they somewhat affect me too. In everything I do, I cannot help but think of what other people will say. I may ignore them, but at the back of my mind, what they say will always have an impact on me, no matter how little it may seem.

But when my friends are with me, do they really matter? When the people I love are ready to accept me for who and what I am, are they really important? No. My friends--the people that I value most--they are the real important persons to me.

Their opinion are what really matters to me. What they think of me is what's really important. The world may turn it's back on me., but when I see them smile at me, I would be okay. Other people may think too little of me, but when I know that my friends are ready to accept me, it doesn't really matter. People who pretend to me my "friends" may say bad things about me--on my back or straight to my face--but when I know that the people I cherish really understand me and love me, nothing really matters.

Nothing really matters but them. My friends. Real friends.

I'm glad that you continue to stay with me through and through. I'm glad that you're always there for me. On the surface, I may look okay, but beneath, I was trying to mend myself. And you stayed with me, enduring my tantrums and caprices. You never left me. You help me bring my self-esteem back.

I don't know what I did to deserve people as awesome as you are. Thank you guys!

You may not be able to read this blog entry, but I will make you feel how thankful am I to have friends as good as you are. Thank you. You are all the best!

Internet-deprived Days and Schoolworks

Great. So internet-deprived days had started again. Monitor cable is being hidden so I can't use the computer even I have something important to do. Take note, it's the monitor cable now, not the internet cord unlike before. Level up! x(

So because I'm being deprived from using the internet, even the computer, I'm gonna squeeze in the things that happened to me in this week in this post.

September 12, Saturday. We had a meeting for our parish's Music Ministry. Because I am the LDSP Glee Club president, I had to attend the meeting. My vice-presidents weren't available on that day so I asked Arbu to come with me instead. It was even Arbu's 15th birthday that that.

We attended the 5:15 mass before the meeting. Since it was the second Saturday of the week, we weren't the choir for the mass. The meeting was supposed to start at 7 o'clock, but we waited for more than an hour because their was some other church org using the parish hall. So the meeting started at past 8pm and ended at past 9, so when I got home, my mother was in the act of going out of the gate, probably to fetch me. Ans she was fuming with anger as soon as we were inside.

She was mad because (1) I came home late, and (2) she called Arsie and she learned the we weren't the choir every second Saturday of the moth and I didn't tell her that. But, hey! I have reasons for that. (1) It wasn't my fault if the meeting started and ended very late, and (2) I didn't feel the need to tell her about that because I hear mass during second Saturdays and went out of the house and went home early. Okay, so maybe reason number two wasn't that acceptable. But even I had reasons, she didn't and won't listen to me anyway, and I got a really awful scolding.

I was waiting for Monday because I honestly don't like weekends. Or maybe more properly said, I don't like being at the house. I just become nervous and gloomy and depressed and annoyed whenever I am in the house because of Mama's unreasonable scoldings. So I like it whenever I am in the school or when there is an activity I have to do during no-classes days. Sounds rebellious, I know. But I love school a lot times better.

So Monday (September 14) was heaven for me. "October" devotion had started and St. Basil was the section that led the rosary that day. It was supposed to start on October, and I don't know why it started this early.

In our English time, Mrs. Lopena asked me to get the names of the participants for the English month in all year levels. Gee I am just the Fourth Year Representative, by the way. Well, the preseident that those joking-around, so-called "members" of the English club voted was... well, non-functional. *rolls eyes* Well, it should have been Ginnique, anyway. So for the teask, I mentally noted myself to ask the other representatives' help.

On Tuesday (September 15), Adrian excused me during our computer subject and I was really clueless. Turned out that it was about our school paper (The Gatekeeper). He was the editor-in-chief--together with Ginnique--and he told me to make a feature article about the new teachers together with Ayyah, a sports artcile probably about Donaire (I already left my former position as the Sports Editor and I am now the Feature Editor, but since it seem that the sports page need some help, I had to do this), and an editorial article if I could make one. Oha! All-around! 8D

It should be passed before Friday, and I was surprised with the rush, until he told me that the presscond would probably be next week or so. It would be a district pressconference this year, not the division pressconference we used to have in the previous years. And this would be harder if that's the situation. DX

Before going home for lunch, I went to the fourth floor in the Extension building to get the payments for the t-shirts from the choir members of St. Peter, and to tell the other representatives about the errand. Labao was the third year representative and I told her that we'll just help each other on getting the participants from the third and fourth year level.

So in my English time, I excused her from her class. We started in the third year level. There was one particular section that was a real jungle. Sheesh.

When we finished in the third year level, moved to the fourth year. It was my turn to speak up and I could remember how Mr. dela Torre and Mr. Liboon's jaws comically (and jokingly) dropped when I spoke in English. Haha. Nosebleed nga daw, sabi ng mga estudyante. 8D

We didn't finish getting the names of the participants because Labao had a quiz.

Wednesday (September 16) was our first examination day. First day of exam was kinda okay, I think. Well, except on the flowcharting part on the computer because we didn't expect that it would also be included.

After the exam, I went to Basil to talk to Ayyah because we would be interviewing the new teachers. The interviews turned out fine. Well, except that I got confused with the names of the teachers that I mistook one from the other. /stupid self. I had to go back to school at 3pm to finish my interviews on them And I only had one left: Ms. Alcantara.

I was late on Thursday (September 17) so the SLTCs got my ID and I had to pay the fine to our class treasurer. T_T My exam on Science was ugh because I forgot to bring my ruler and protractor so I was automatically wrong on the last test. T_T Sayang, vectors and scalars was kinda easy for me pa naman.

The interview with Ms. Alcantara was the only thing we need to complete the article. We went to the newsroom first and Mr. Luna talked to Ayyah about their Odyssey play. We also watched the "The Necklace" mini-movie that the last batch of Justice did for their report in English. And it was kewl.

We finally got to intreview Ms. Alcantara and went home. However, I went back to school again. I had to do my sports article and I couldn't use the computer at house. So I looked for Mr. Luna so I could borrow the newsroom's key from here. I was kinda nervous to ask him pa nga because I know Mr. Luna sort of dislikes me. But he quickly gave the key to me. : )

I was alone in the newsroom when I did my article. I was alone for ablout two hours. There was an eerie silece and the noise only errupted when Remo, Adrian, Ginnique, Galman, and Gilbert entered the room.

I went out for a while to get Bro. Fred's ID to have it scanned. When I got back, I saw Galman in front of the computer. He told me that he accidentally kicked the switch of the AVR so the computer was shut down. I hadn't save my article but it was okay because of the MS Word's autorecover feature. I had resumed my work for quite a while when I remembered something.

"Hala!!" I reacted violently. It was because when I opened the newsroom earlier, the computer was nalready turned on, and Adobe Pagemaker was open. The layout of The Gatekeeper was probably being made by Mr. Luna before I used the computer, and the file seemed to have not been saved yet.

In short, wala na yung file. Wala na yung page layout.

Galman's face cannot be deciphered. He was red all over. We teased him, saying "Hala ka!" Nako, lagot siya kay Sir Luna.

Mr. Luna came back after a while. We were all saying "Lagot ka!" and Galman was red again. And he started to narrate what he had done in a LOL-some English.

"Sir, I did something."

"What?"

"I used the computer... And then, I accidentally kicked the AVR. And then.. the computer shut down..."

"And then?" Mr. Luna asked patiently, his voice was like, 'Anong meron dito at anong keme ng taong ito?'

"And then, I turned it on... And then, I used it again." He said in a as-a-matter-of-fact voice.

"And then...?"

Silence.

I was the one who broke the ice. (Okay Galman, it's my fault. XD) "E Sir, yung file po ng layout yata ng Gatekeeper, na-save na po ba?"

"Hindi pa."

Lagot. "E nawala po nung namatay na yung computer."

Mr. Luna was silent. We shot Galman a teasing look. Tsk.

I continued my work and I could sense Mr. Luna staring on what I was doing. When I glanced at him, parang na-shock ang mukha and he was staring blankly on the monitor screen. Galman was silent too.

Galman said sorry, and Sir Luna told him it was okay. "Okay lang 'yon. Edi kung galit ako sana nagmumumura na ako diyan!" He half-joked. I asked Adrian in a whisper if he thinks Sir Luna was mad or something. "Naghihinayang. Nagawa na kasi yung paunang layout e." He mouthed.

Nung medyo "naka-recover" na si Sir Luna, nagbibiro na siya. "Okay lang 'yon Galman. You know me. Hayaan mo, kapag naggagawa ng Gatekeeper, maaalala kita. 'Ay, si Galman, iyon yung nakabura ng layout.' O kapag ginagamit ko yung computer, iingatan kong 'wag masipa yung AVAR. Tapos kapag makikita ko yung class record ko, sasabihin ko, 'Galman? Sino 'yon? Basil ba 'yon? Ah oo, yung nakabura ng pinaghirapan kong layout!'"

Wala na. Markado na si Galman kay Sir.

Title na lang yung kulang dun sa sports article ko so I let Ginnique use the computer to do the layout. Galman was still quiet, while the rest of us started to tease and chat with each other. Nandon na rin yung mga Juniors and we were teasing Jeje because she types in such a slow manner. When suddenly, Ginnique told us the she accidentally kicked the AVR's switch too.

Back to the top. @_@

Nagbibiruan kami mayamaya. Ang kulit nga ni Sir e. Super tawanan at okrayan kami. Haha!

It feels nice. I mean, having to talk with Mr. Luna. I've already said that he is my 'idol' and I really think he is such an awesome teacher and I honestly want to be like him someday. He is one of my model teachers, actually.

Before, I could really feel Mr. Luna's indifference towards me. He was giving me cold treatment, actually. Sabi kasi ni Eday, ayaw daw ni Sir sa mga madaldal, lalo na at wala namang ibubuga. That's why I wanted him to be my English teacher in my senior year, so I can prove myself to him, so I can show him that what he thinks of me is wrong.

But that day, I got to joke and chat with im. I also notice that he calls me with my name (Nobleza), unlike before that he seemed to avoid referring to me. It seemed that his dislike for me is gone now. Well.. I think? : )

Super okrayan. Pati nga yung mga teachers, pinagkwentuhan namin. Lalo na yung mga matatandang teachers. XD

It was nearly six o'clock when we decided to go home. Actually, we didn't still want to go home, but mr. Luna was pushing us to do so because we still have exams the next day. Napagkwentuhan pa nga ang grades ng Basil. E hindi kasi mataas magbigay ng garde si Sir. You're lucky if you'll get a line of 9 from him. It only means that he thinks you are really good. He also give student works that 'normal' teachers in our school don't give, like the thesis. And super effort on reports, plays, and presentation.

Nung napagkwentuhan ng namain yung mga teachers, sabi ko, sayang at hindi ko naging teacher na gusto kong maging teacher, like Ms. Rellosa and Bro. Ador na kilalang mahihirap maging teacher. Sabi ni Sir, "Naku, you missed a part of your high school life. [...] Admit it, they've became part of your lives."

I agreed. "Kayo din Sir, syanag, hindi ko kayo naging teacher."

He said something that means like I was lucky. Hindi rin, I thought. Aanhin ko ang mataas na grade na binigay ng teacher na halos wala namang naidagdag sa kaalaman ko? Aanhin ko ang exam na madali kung halos wala namana akong natutunan? Kaya nga "naiinggit" ako sa mga handle ni Sir Luna. I didn't even know how to make a thesis pa nga e.

Really, I missed the half of my high school life.

Lumabas na kami ng newsroom. Nasa labas si Sir Liwag na nanlibre ng mais sa mga Juniors. Daya. Di man lang kami dinamay. ;p

Friday (September 18) was the last day of exam. The exams were easy. Well, except for Math. The first part in Math was really a chicken. Sabi ko nga, I might even get a high score on that. But when I got to the last part, I got really confused. And complex kasi ng given e. It was probably a trick question.

I went back to school earlier than the other days. I gave instructions to Argame about the basketball match of LDSP varsity with Perpetual and Liceo de Cabuyao. We were waiting for mr. Luna. When I see Jaymiriz, I asked him if he saw Mr. Luna because I need to use the computer at the newsroom to type Remo's article. He said he had the key so he gave it to me.

Nang umalis na sila Argame, biniro pa nila ako na baka daw may "makasama" ako sa newsroom. I just grinned at them. well, the newsroom was believed to have some beings because it wasn't really open to the students during the former paper adviser's 'reign'. Even staffers rarely get inside before. Ngayaon lang natambayan ito ng mga estudyante. But I didn't entertain the though as I was working alone. Hindi naman kasi malakas ang mga pakiramdam ko sa mga bagay na ganyan and hindi rin ako lapitin ng mga supernaturals, even I would like to see one. I believe that they won't really bother you if you won't scare yourself. Well, the calm ones.

When I finished typing Remo's article, I browsed the other articles. Pinakialaman ko na ring i-edit because yung iba e mali-mali yung grammar and sentence construction. Lalao na yung isang editorial article. alos ni-revise ko na nga e. 8D

Gereard accompanied me during their recess, but went back to his classroom when his last exam was about to start. Bumalik din siya at nag-FS pa. Ayun, biglang pasok ni Sir at nataranta siya. Haha! XD

Ginamit ni Sir yung computer because he would be doing a presentation yata. Ayyah ang REmo arrived later, as well as Marlon. Ibinunyag pa nga ni Remo ang isang nakakahiyang pangyayari sa'min. Actually, kahihiyan ko lang pala yun. Sheda, 3 times na nagyari yun! And they enjoyed themselves laughing so hard as Remo narrate the embarrassiing incidents. Waaah.

Tapos naalala ko na nandun din pala si Sir Luna, so narinig din niya. SHEDA!

Umuwi na rin kami dahil sabi ni Sir e matatagalan din siya sa computer. Niloko ko pa si Remo na sasama ako sa bahay nila. XD

Saturday (September 19). We are the choir for the mass today. I told them to come to school at 2pm, but I reached the school at 2:45p. When I got there, Bart and Gerard were the only ones there. Well, Basil have a practice for Odyssey play and they would probably come at 4pm. What happened to the others. Oh great. x[

Arbu came at 3pm. The others weren't still around. Those three were talking about... erm, obscene things. *rolls eyes*Well, they're boys anyway.

The others came nearly at 4:00. Maaga naman palang natapos yung practice ng Basil, hindi pa pumunta ng maaga.

When Adrian came, he was about to gather everyone for the meeting. Well, we're supposed to hava a meeting today at tanggalin na rin yung mga hindi umaattend. But I stopped him and talked to him at one corner because we hadn't still talked to Sir Bautista about it. Sabi niya, hindi na magtatanggalan, pagsasabihan na lang. Pero kulang-kulang din naman kami, wala pa rin yung mga karamihan ng mga madalas na hindi umaattend. So the meeting was posponed and we practiced instead. Sinita ko pa nga sila Eday dahil naka-shorts at naka-tsinelas, e bawal 'yun.

We went to the church and the mass started early. Si Jas ang tumugtog because Sir wasn't around.

At the homily, Adrian borrowed a notebook para patungan nung papel niya. I gave him my "notes notebook". He began reading it. Tapos, nandun pala yung isa kong sinulat ko for a post in my Wordpress blog. Since my WP blog contains personal things, that note is somewhat private. Well, okay lang sana kung ibang tao ang nakabasa nun, but--though it wasn't mention in the note--Eday was involved with it. I tried grabbing it away from him but his arms were long and mine were short. So ayun, nabasa na niya rin.

"Sus. Parang 'di ko naman nasubaybayan ang buhay mo." He told me, a hint on understanding in his voice. Ewan ko lang kung anong naisipi niya dun sa note na iyon.

Baka wala daw pala siya next Saturday because of TOBS. He was included for the Nationals. Prizes include Php 10, 000, and recognition in school. And it would really be a great honor for him and for the school, as well as for our region. Sabi niya nga, managinip daw ulit ako. Haha I would really be praying for him.

Kaso, baka wala daw siya sa district presscon. E sabi ni Sir Luna, 'pag nakatanggap kami ng mememo, kasama kami sa district. Kapag hindi, derecho kami ng divison. Kaya sana walang kaming makuhang memo! 8D

Sabi ko nga kay Eday, buti muka namang okay na kami ni Sir Luna at nakakausap at nakakabiruan ko na. Before kasi, "galit" daw nga sa'kin yun. E ayaw nga kasi ni Sir yung madadala na wala namang maipagmamalaki.

Eday: E bakit ako, madaldal rin naman?
Me: "E magka-iba naman tayo. E syempre, alam naman niya siguro na marunong ka naman.
Eday: E bakit ikaw, marunong ka naman ah?"
Me: E syempre... siguro 'di niya alam. akala niya puro dada lang ako.
Eday: Pero kung star ka... He trailed off.
Me: Anyway, okay naman na siguro kami ngayon. Kita mo naman nung Thursday, nakakausap at nakakabiruan ko na. Dati 'di man lang ako pinapansin nun.

It feels good, because my friends--especially Eday who is one of my closest friends--thinks of me as smart even I now belong in the non-star. That he considers me as one of them too. Somehow, I feel good. : )

Later on the mass, I saw Ayyah still quiet at the corner. I gave Adrain a puzzled look because Ayyah's still acting weird. He told me it was probably because almost everyone in Basil is kinda mad at her. I didn't have the chance to why because Ayyah was already crying silently after the Communion. I asked her what the problem is, but she won't tell me.

The Basilians weren't asking as I comfort Ayyah. I mean, hindi sila nang-iintriga. And it's something weird. I asked Ablay what had happened and he told me that Ayyah was late for the practice that day and they hadn't done much. And I couldn't comment on that. I know Ayyah was wrong, but still...

Ayyah bid me goodbye. She won't be coming with us at the 7-eleven. Nasita pa nga ako ni Ate Beth (Music Ministry President) about dun sa mga naka-shorts. Pinatago ko nga sila Edya. E sabi ko, pinagsabihan ko naman sila,

We went to 7eleven. Poor nga kami, walang pera. Kaya't slurpee na lang ang binili ang then we talked about the Noli play the Juniors watched that morning. Mas magaling pa nga daw sila Eday last year kaysa dun sa pinanood nila e.

We went home at 7: 35. And I went home happy. : )

***

This week is fool of schoolworks. We're rushing on many things, especially in Gatekeeper.

But I like this kind of pressure. I mean, this is where I am somewhat good at. Even I seem to do the tasks of the president in the Lingua Franca club. I like it. I like being useful. I like being able to help. I like this, because I don't feel unwanted and unappreciated.


Originally done on September 19.

Okay Na Sana E..

My day started nicely, but ended badly.

Saturday is actually my favorite day and I am always on this day of the week because I really like singing in the choir, plus I will be able to be with my close friends, who happened to be choir members too.

So I really looked forward for this day, as usual. There were already a number of my choir mates when I got in school. They noticed the big, long earrings that I was wearing. Ka-landian co talaga o!

Hindi na rin kami nag-practice, tutal e kokonti lang naman kami e. Instead, we talked about various stuff, ranted on that damned bloody First Quarterly exams. Grabe, pati Basil din pala nahirapan. Gaah! Si Ablay nga, nade-"depress" dun sa exam.

Tinanong co pala kung ano yung nangyari sa TOBS (Top Outstanding Boy Scout) na sinalihan ni Eday. I had mentally noted myself to ask him about that because I dreamt this week that I asked him about it, at sabi niya dun sa panaginip co, nakapasok siya sa Nationals at pang-4th siya.

Pasok nga daw siya sa National. Haha! Super pray aco para sa kanya dun. Ang guess what? Pang-fourth nga siya! WAW! Nagkatotoo yung dream co? Sabi niya nga daw, managinip ulit aco na nanalo siya sa Nationals. XD


I haven't still gotten over my love for piggy-back rides. Nagkukulitan kami ni Eday when he crouched and I groped him at the neck. I ended riding at his back. I was squealing like a little child as he run around, jumping up and down. Tumalon pa nga siya sa stage e, at tili-tawa aco. XD

I am so so child-like, I know. Fourth year na aco, pero gustong-gusto co pa ring napasan. Yeah. Yeah. I am so childish. =D

Nakatambay sila Jette, Alexa, at Luis sa may tabi ng flagpole. Luis called me at pinagtripan din ang aking hikaw. Haha. Tumambay din muna aco sa kanila. We were laughing so hard about the mural at the wall on the tunnel. Kamuka daw kasi ni Dolphy. Hahaha!

We went to the church before 5pm. Kuya Darwin, a LDSP alumnus and former Glee Club member, was the one who played piano for us. Maingay na naman nga e, kaya saway aco ng saway. Kuya Darwin even commented nung sinasaway co sila, "Parang aco lang dati ah."

Yeah, I remember that time when I was still on First and Second year when Kuya Darwin keeps on hushing us whenever we make noise. How fast the time flies! Ngayon, aco na ang sumasaway.

Okay pa aco nung una. I was still tolerating it at first kahit sitsit na aco nang sitsit. Pero nung bago mag-communion, na-bad trip na talaga aco. I shut my mouth and let them. Hindi na rin aco masyadong kumanta.

Di na nga aco sumabay sa Recessional kaya nagkagulo-gulo na. Tapos nung mukang nalito sila dun sa last part at nagkamali, nagtawanan pa. Nakakabad-trip e. So after taking off the cord from the mic, I told them, almost harshly, to sit down. Umalis na nga si Kuya Darwin nang hindi man lang aco nakapagpasalamat.

Nagsimula na ang panenermon co. Nakakainis kasi. Sinasaway nang paulit-ulit, ayaw pang magsitahimik. Nakakabastos na e, walang mga respeto. Palibhasa, nakikipag-biruan aco sa kanila. I am not laying my authority that much because I don't want to be an "authority figure". Umaabuso na e. Hindi naman porke mga kaibigan co sila, pababayaan co na lang.

I was somewhat close to tears. Ganito talaga aco kapag galit, naiiyak. But I didn't cry. There was just a lump of my throat, but I didn't cry. I'm laying my "authority", and authorities don't cry.

O, nung napagalitan saka nagsipag-tahimik. Kala mo mga maamong tupa e. Kailangan pa papagalitan muna.

Wala na. Bad trip na talaga aco. Nakakainis kasi e. Matapos ipaalala ang tungkol sa pesteng collared shirt na ilang linggo co nang ipinaalala sa kanila pero 13 pa lang ang nagpapasa, binirahan co sila ng walk-out. I just heard someone leading the prayer as I walk down the stairs. Si Gerard yata yun.

I walked with a straight face. I felt my jaws clenching, my brows furrowing. I headed to PEAC, and forgot to ask for the sign in my prayer book. Next week co na lang papapirmahan. Bad trip aco, and all I wanted at that time was to talk to Him.

Ayoko pa naman sa lahat, yung naba-bad trip. Ayoko kaya ng seryoso aco. Hindi aco sanay at alam cong hindi sanay ang mga tao. Ayoko ng galit aco. But I had to lay my authority. I had to be angry. I was angry, and the annoyance I felt wasn't something I could and should keep.

Naiinis talaga aco. Naiinis aco sa mga ka-choir co at sa sarili co. Yes, I am annoyed mostly to myself.

Bakit nung time naman ni Ate Jen, ni Ate Beth, ni Ate Pam, hindi naman ganito? I mean, sumusunod agad sa kanila ang choir. Ganun ba talaga? Hindi ba talaga aco karespe-respeto? Don't I deserve respect?

Maybe it was because they "grew up" with me. Dahil matagal na nila acong kilala that's why they don't fear me anymore. Maybe it was all because of childishness. Maybe it was because they even look more matured than me. Maybe because I am small, that's why they think so little of me.

Nakakainis. I was looking forward for this day. I was looking forward for a peaceful, heart-touching mass, looking forward for great singing, looking forward for time with my friends. Pero nasira lang lahat.

**

I was still annoyed when I got home, but it gradually faded.

Arbu PMed me in YM, and apologized. I accepted his apology, and just told him na hindi aco pupunta sa kanila para kunin yung shirts na ilang beses co nang pinapalala sa kanila; sila ang maghanap sa'kin.

Napatunayan co na I couldn't still hold anger for too long. Aco talaga yung taong magagalit, pero mawawala na rin mayamaya. Aco yung taong madaling amuhin.

I don't know how will I act when I saw them again, or how will I treat them next Saturday. Basta, hindi na aco papayag na maulit na naman na ganito. I still don't like to lay authority, but if I must, I will.

Inspired : )

Yohoow! This day is so... inspiring. Yay! I don't know, but I really feel... in l--*shot* inspired. Yeah, inspired.

So, I was wearing a big smile upon reaching our classroom. I don't know what's the reason why I am smiling today so much, I just feel like smiling. Maybe it was because last week was an awesome week and the after-effect still lingers in me?

Koleen and Jette were wondering why there's a big smile plastered on my lips. "Inspired," was the response I could think of. Waha. XD (And they still keep on guessing who my special someone is. 8D )

I also asked Quintero and the others to curl my hair again today (landi talaga! XD).

Halos hindi rin naman namin nakita ang aming adviser ngayon, kahit exam na bukas. =_=

May activity din kami sa Music na dapat e last week pa nagawa. We we're grouped into forur and each group should sing a church song. Dahil mukang hindi naman matatandaan ni Sir kung anong grupo ba kami, kung sino-sino na lang ang nag-grupo-grupo. The group who will perform the best will get an exemption for the 1st Quarterly Exam.

Actually, medyo nakaka-pressure din. As the Glee Club President, our group should do good on this. Syempre, nakakahiya naman kasi kay Sir kung mukang ewan kami. ;___;

I changed our song. I think the former one was kinda lame. We practiced for it during recess and Music time, hanggang sa huli, sabi ni Sir e next week na lang daw kami mag-perform. x]

♥ *shot*

I paid for my tuition first, and went to St. Basil's first before going home to ask for the t-shirt from the Glee Club members. I saw Adrian whirling around, and assumed he's taking care of his "documents". It's actually for the Boy Scout. He'll be candidating to be one of the 10 Most Outstanding Boy Scout. Regional lang muna yung lalabanan niya, tapos kukuha ng lima dun para isali naman sa National. (Yay! I'll be praying for you, Edz! ^^) Grabe, ang busy ng taong yun e.

Pagkatapos cong daaanan ang St. Peter, umuwi na rin aco at natulog.

I went back early to school. Sabi kasi ni Arsie, dumaan daw aco sa kanila before my afternoon classes for her shirt. Nakita co si Jorvina at nagpasama sa kanya papuntang Basil. Super sara naman ng room nila at nung nakita aco ni Adrian, sinabi niyang wala sila Arsie at nanunuod ng Debate. @_@

Matapos makipag-chikahan ng kaunti kay Eday, nagpaalam na rin aco. Pero bago yun, yumakap muna aco sa kanya ng mahigpit. Haay, nakaka-miss si Eday ngayon. Palibhasa ang hectic ng schedule ng taong yun, super busy kaya minsan na lang kami magkita. : )

We checked our quiz on Science today. I was actually wondering what kind of alien-ish things Mrs. Suinan was saying so I asked the others if it was the questionnaire that we answered last Friday. It turned out na iba palang questionnaire ang dini-discuss ni Miss! Kaya pala puro mali kami e! Inulit tuloy namin ulit.

Nakakatuwa nga si Mrs. Suinan e. Nakakabiruan namin siya kaya nakakatuwa. Dati talaga, akala co super serious yun na mala-terror na bawal biruin. Pero nakikipag-asaran pa siya sa'min.

Magaling din siyang magturo. Mabilis nga lang minsan, pero marami talaga acong natututunan sa kanya. Dati, kahit nung hindi pa aco nagha-high school, sabi co, ayoko ng Physics dahil puro computations. Ngayon, ayoko pa rin ng computations sa Physics but I don't really hate the entire subject. Nagiging interesante na nga sa'kin ang mga kung anu-anong law e ('wag mo lang talagang ibigay sa'kin ang puro conversions at computations).

Wala kaming teacher sa Filipino, kaya labu-labo na naman kami sa room. Susme! Super hagalpakan na naman sa mga tawa! XD

May "workshop" nga kanina si Jorvina e. Tinuturuan namin na mag-mukang "matino" at hindi parating mukang si Sisa at Pinkaw. Pero wa epek talaga, in born na topak ng babaeng 'yun. XD

Dumating si Sir Cejero pero pinasa lang namin sa kanya yung notebook namin at hindi na niya kami pinakialaman. Kaya patuloy pa rin ang ingay. Nagpalit pa nga kami ni Ruiz ng sapatos (pareho kaming maliit, pero hindi pa rin talaga ganap na kasya ang kanyang sapatos sa aking lotus feet XD).

At nung pabalik na si Jayson sa upuan niya, nagulat na lang kami ng biglang nadapa. Actually, hindi saktong term ang "nadapa". BULAGTA SIYA SA SAHIG E! Tawanan ang lahat, pati siya e. HAHAHAHAHA! SOCO!! XDDD

**

Nag-PEAC muna co bago umuwi. As I was walking home, I saw Adrian, Gerard, Remo, and Marlon on the other side of the road. Nakita rin nila aco at nagpahintay habang tumatawid sila. Si Remo, umuwi na, habang si Eday e nagyaya namang mag-7-eleven. Actually, anong oras na at kailangan co na ring umuwi, pero minsan co lang naman na makasama si Eday so I gave in.

Sa 7-eleven, napag-usapan namin ang tungkol sa "future". Ang mga activities, ang Liceo, ang college life. Actually, magpi-PNU din si Eday kapag hindi siya nakapasa ng UP, at pareho pa kami ng course sa PNU--Linguistics. Pero sabi co naman sa kanya, I have a great feeling that he has a good chance of passing in UP, lalo na't Baguio naman ang second choice niyang campus at papayagan naman siya dun, so madali nang ilakad sa Diliman if ever.

Syempre, masaya sana kung pareho kaming PNU para may kasama naman aco dun kung sakaling dun nga aco matuloy, but I'm still praying that he--as well as my other friends--will pass in UP, kahit na gusto co e sama-sama pa rin kami. Syempre, di naman pwede 'yun di ba? Ayokong maging selfish. Mas okay sana kung lahat kami ay UP, but I should be realistic. Ang liit ng tsansa co. And I couldn't afford to be selfish, especially when it come to my friends, kaya kahit alam cong magkakalayo-layo kami, I'm praying that they will pass in UP. Maganda naman ang chance nilang makapasa e.

Wala na si Mama pagdating co sa bahay, pumasok na sa trabaho. Nag-alibi na nga lang aco kung bakit aco late umuwi. 8D

May extension pa pala ang masasayang araw co. Haha. Sana parati na lang ganito.

Exam bukas. Todo computer pa rin aco. Hay, PC is just too tempting. Bahala na. Hahaha! XD Good luck na lang sa'min!~

Most Hyper APTA Induction

Upon reaching the school, I requested Quintero to curl my hair. Nung third year pa lang kasi, uso na yung ganun at marunong siya. May usapan kasi kami nila Ayyah at Lea na ico-cosplay (mini cosplay lang, actually, dahil kahit yung konting look lang o ugali ang gayahin) ang isang character sa ToraDora! sa Monday, at sabi nila si Taiga daw ang i-"cosplay" co. Taiga's hair was a bit wavy, so I'm going to try to make my messy hair look like that of Taiga's.

Wala naman kaming masyadong ginawa, kaya pinagtulong-tulungan acong kulutan nila Quintero, Ruiz, at Quial. I looked like Valentina from Darna kasi ang pagkulot na uso sa'min, yung parang binubuhol. My hair looked short, and they told me it would be better if I cut my hair. They're presuading me to cut my hair. As if they could convince me.

Sabi co, magpapagupit din aco kapag: [1] may matindi acong dahilan; at [2] may taong super nangumbinsi sa'kin at na-moved talaga aco sa dahilan niya.

Sabi nga ni Jette, pipilitan niya daw aco. Tapos sasabihin niya kila Ayyah, Lea, Adrian, Remo, Alexa and my other close friends to persuade me, too. Haha!

At 8am, Veloso excused me from our class para ayusin nga yung bulletin board. Tinali co yung buhok co kasi muka pa nga acong si Valentina kasi naka-"buhol" pa rin. Remo ang Alde saw me, and they thought I had a haircut dahil muka ngang maikli yung buhok co na parang shoulder-length lang. As if..

Inabot kami ng past 9am dun sa bulletin board na 'yon pero halos wala rin namang nagyari at di rin namin natapos. Kase e..

English time na pagbalik co. Nagqu-quiz sila at nasa question #12 na, humabol na lang aco. Nag-aaalala aco dun sa 1-11 co, buti na lang inulit din ni Mrs. Lopena yung questions nung nag-request acong ulitin. I got 21. Actually, dapat talaga 23 yun e. Ang gulo kasi ni Miss e. Parang feeling co talaga, may mali siyang nasabi.

Tinggal co na rin yung pagkaka-"buhol" ng buhok co nung paakyat na kami sa rooftop ang everyone was "wow-ing" on me. Ang ganda kasi ng pagkakulot e, para daw acong magj-JS! Akalain mo 'yun, gumaganda ang buhok co kapag kinukulot. Muka daw acong tao! HAHA! (But still, I wasn't able to achieve the Taiga look. Tsk.)

Half day lang kami ngayon dahil APTA Induction of officers. Pero babalik din aco sa school ng 2:30 dahil choir aco at may mass para sa Induction. Dapat nga, pupunta kami ni Jayson kila Jorvina (dapat talaga, si Jayson lang. E sabi niya, baka daw "molestyahin" siya ni Jorvs kaya pinasama niya aco. XD) para makita ni Jayson kung pan'o i-reformat yung PC nila Jorvs, na si Jorvs lang ang gagawa, kaso di din natuloy kasi nandun yung tatay niya nandun e ayaw niyang nandun yung papa niya kapag nagdala siya ng kaklase.

Umuwi na lang aco at umidlip. At past 2pm, nasa school na aco. Naka-civilian nga aco e.

Ang awesome ng pagkakakanta namin. Waw. Yung bagong member na 1st year, si Gerald Dulay, ang galing mag-voicing. Palibhasa choir na yun sa kanila e. Pati tuloy yung Ama Namin me voicing kahit dati e wala naman yun.

Hindi pa kami umuwi pagkatapos ng mass. Nanuod muna kami sa program. Nang natapos na ang program, binigyan kami ng merienda. Grabe, ang hyper namin!

Warning: "Green" language ahead. Not suitable for "innocent" and conservative people. XD

Nagkulang yata sa tinidor nun, kaya nanghiram si Siacey ng tinidor sa tapos nang kumain. Nung nanghiram siya kay Dulat, sagot ba naman e, "'Wag na. Lalaki aco, baka mabuntis ka!"

WAW. Grabe. Nagtawanan kami. Pero na-realize co, grabe talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. I mean, green din naman talaga kami so parang wala lang yun. Kaso first year pa lang yun ah, at bagong member pa. Hindi pa lalagpas sa limang beses na nakasama namin siya sa choir. At si Siacey e third year na. Samantalagang nung panahong first year kami at bago sa High School Glee Club, hindi kami makapalag ng ganyan sa mga "senpai" namin. Oo, may biruan, pero super kuya at ate at "po" kami nun. Hindi kami ganun magsalita sa senpais namin.

Iba na talaga panahon ngayon o. XD

Kumuha pa kami ng pansit, at ng juice. Ang adik e! Kumuha din kami ng lobo! HAHA!

Grabe! Ang hyper namin. Di co lang ma-explain. pero ang kulit namin! XD

We saw Adrian, na galing Los Baños dahil may kinuhang documents daw kaya di nakapag-choir. Ang gala talaga, mag-isa lang siya nun ah. Kinuwento co nga sa kanya yung tungkol kay Dulay at sabi niya, in a playful but somewhat serious way, na lagot daw yun sa kanya sa Sabado. Si Eday pa naman, pinapakitaan talaga ng "attitude" at "authority" ang mga taong dapat pakitaan ng "attitude" at "authority". Ganun siya. Kapag sa lokohan, mangunguna 'yon, pero kapag serious, serious.

Hindi naman sa naiinis kami. Para sa'kin, okay lang naman si Dulay. Magaling siya, and he's an asset to the choir. Pero syempre, dapat maaga pa lang e matuto na siyang "rumespeto". Hindi naman sa naiis talaga kami, super natawa pa nga kami sa kanya. Pero syempre, dapat malaman niya kung pa'no pakitunguhan ang mga senpai niya. Aba, kahit pamilya at super close co na talaga ang choir to the point na super harutan kami, dapat malaman ng new members kung saan "lulugar".

And I'll leave that to Eday. Mas kaya niya na 'yon kaysa sa'kin. I'm not good on laying "authority", kaya siya na bahala dun. Magkakasundo rin naman yung dalawang 'yun e, for sure. Good luck na lang sa Sabado. XD

(This post is supposedly centered on how hyper we are today, pero mas parang tungkol sa ito sa mga bagong members. Haha!)

Unnecessary Worries

I am completely broke today. Mama and I aren't still talking, and I didn't ask money from her because I know she won't give me any and we might just end up yelling at each other. Yep, that's how bad things are weheneer we're in "World War".

So I went to school without a single cent, literally. Sheda, ang purita co ngayon!

I was worrying for so many things today. First, I don't have money. So how can I possibly go to Aica's house to have our body measurement taken for the SSG uniform? Then, there was the conflict between the Basil and I. I'm still feeling guilty, and I'm still embarrassed to face them. At hindi co alam kung paano nila aco pakikitunguhan.

But of course, I wouldn't let those stupid, petty conflicts defeat me. I've already been into LOTS of issues, but I am still standing. These are nothing compared to what I've been to, and I know there's a hell lot more to come.

So to sum it all, I went to school, carrying my gift to Remo. I had made the "special box" for him before going to school, btw. (I've made sure I used brown paper and ribbon for it. XD)

I saw Adrian and Arnold along with my other choirmates in the locker area. My cheeks were heating up; tension was curling up in my stomach. It was somewhat impersonal, the way Adrian told me that we're going to sing in A Capella because Sir Bay won't be around, though maybe he's just busy with his phone. Maybe it was just paranoia or something, but at the back of my mind was the nagging thought that they're mad at me.

There was a silent conflict inside me, a mixture of guilt and embarrassment and paranoia. After some few minutes of hesitating, I said, "Uy, Eday, sorry ah."

"O, bakit?" he asked, surprised.

"'Dun sa.. sa.. 'di ba nga late si Ayyah?"

"Anu ka ba, wala yun." He assured me, his tone was the don't-worry-it-doensn't-matter tone that I know.

"E kasi... kasi..." I choked, a lump of tears in my throat.

And then it just happened. The tears that I managed to held back the other day showed. I know I looked stupid, but I didn't bothered to wipe those tears. Attempting that would be futile; my tears couldn't be held back anymore.

"E kasi... kasalanan co naman talaga. Nakaka... ano kasi, kasi... wala na nga aco sa inyo, tapos... tapos... nagdadala pa rin aco ng malas sa inyo.

"Okay lang 'yun. OA lang talaga si Jesta 'nu. 'Lam mo naman 'yun."

Arnold assured me, too. Somehow, I felt better. Wala naman acong nakitang kaplastikan sa pang-aalo nila. Siguro naman mararamdaman co kung nagkukunwari lang silang may concern, but it sounded genuine.

I could feel my addiction is sucking me in again. I know--I could feel--that I couldn't kept the promise I made out of depression.

Maya-maya, Remo approached us, who was previously on stage practicing some dance steps with Aica. I hugged him tightly, and then gave him the box.

"Happy birthday ulit!" I greeted him. "Syempre, may laman 'yan. Pero nasa labas." Then, I took the plastic bag of the pillow I had bought in Clipper. At si Remo, tuwang-tuwa. Nakakatuwa yung reaction niya. At least, all of my efforts paid off. : )

"Thank you!" pasasalamat niya. Pero nahalata yatang umiyak aco dahil namumugto yung mata co kaya nagtanong. E aco naman si todo deny. ^^,

Sinabi co sa kanya na si Ayyah yung kasama co sa pagbili ng reglao co para sa kanya, kaya na-late si Ayyah nung Thursday. At ayun, in-okray pala niya. Kaya sabi niya, magso-sorry daw siya pagdating ni Ayyah.

Binasa na agad ni Remo yung birthday message co. By the way, the "special box" was actually a letter which contains my birthday message. At sabi niya, hindi naman daw totoo yung nasa 5th and 6th paragraph. I don't know, siguro nga. Sana nga.

Hindi na rin kami nag-practice dala ng katamaran. x)

Sila Adrian, Ablaya and Arnold ay umalis at pumunta sa gotohan para mag-merienda. And when they get back, may "surprise" daw sila na para sa batch namin. May kasama silang babae, nakatakip pa yung bag ni Eday sa mukha nung babae.

At si Rinnel pala yun! Dating choir si Rinnel at kaklase namen, pero lumipat siya sa school nung third year. Ang adik , ang ingay tuloy namin.

Pumunta na rin kami sa simbahan. Aica, Arnold, and Rinnel were with us in the choirbox. Ampness nga, ang gulo na naman ng kanta namin.

After the mass, nagkayayaaan na naman sa 7-eleven, our usual tambayan after choir. Pero puro kami walang pera. As in. Grabe. Ramdam na ramdam na talaga ang global financial crisis.

Umuwi na yung iba, pero pumunta pa rin kami kahit walang datung. Haha. Aco, si Eday, Ayyah, Remo, Arbu, Mae, and Aica ang magkakasama sa 7-eleven. Si kuya Kim na nakita namen after mass, sumama din sa'min. Si Ayyah ang bumili ng chitchira, tapos share-share na lang kami dun. Sila Mae naman, nilibre kami ng slurpee na maliit. Waw. Grabe, ang purita namen!!

Pero okay lang. Halakhakan ng halakhakan. Si Mae at Aica, may sariling mundo at mukang nagtu-"tour" sa 7-eleven. I was thinking of ways to earn money for the leadership training in Baguio, when out-of-the-blue, Adrian said this obsence suggestion.

(Censored 'to. HAHAHA! XD)

"********." He said out loud.

I stared at him for a nanosecond, tapos humagalpak ng tawa habang sinasabihan siya ng, "luko-luko". Tawanan kami ng tawanan. At dahil may sayad din aco, naki-ride naman aco sa suggestion niya.

"Oo, tapos ******!" sabi co.

Tawanan na naman. Yun pala, dahil napalakas yata ang boses ni Eday, narining ni kuyang crew ng 7-eleven yung usapan namen. Ah sh*t! NAKAKAHIYA!!

Pero actually, di naman talaga kami nahiya dahil wala kaming hiya. Nagtawanan na lang kami habang si kuya, iiling-iling na nakikitawa sa'min.

Halos 7:30 na rin kami nakauwi. Pero masaya naman. All of my worries vanished, they're now seemingly useless. : )

Awesome Day!

It's already 6am when I woke up, so I hurried on my way to school. Baka ma-late pa aco. But I saw group of fourth year students at the sidewalk.

Of course I wondered why they're not inside the school yet. I thought they would cut classes or something, but as I walked towards the school, I saw so many students outside! Halos lahat yata ng mga pang-umagang estudyante e nasa labas e.

I saw Steni and the other CATs. I asked them what on earth is happening.

"May AHINI." They said.

"Ha? Ahini??" *puzzled*

"H1N1!!"

Wut? May case ng H1N1 sa school?

Ewan co kung tsismis lang na lumalaganap eto, pero sabi nila na may H1N1 nga daw. And what the school is doing about it? They are checking the temperature of the students... gamit lang ang isang normal thermometer. Nako. Tanghali na siguro di pa kami tapos nito. (No offence meant, school! Piz!) Kasi man lang, sana dinamihan nila yung thermometer na gagamitin. Mura lang naman 'yun e. ;p

We waited outside for minutes. Yung ibang mga estudyante, lalo na yung mga lalaki, ang lalakas ng trip. Yung tropa nila Ponan e bumili facemask sa Mercury Drug. Haha. Mukantanga lang e.

Pinapila kaming lahat sa plaza. Sila Ginnique at Adrian ang nag-aayos sa mga estudyante. Medyo nakakahiya nga e, kasi Fourth Year Representative aco. Which means kailangan cong tumulong. Jeez, ayoko talagang maging authority figure e. Pero pinaayos co yung mga kaklase cong magulo sa pila. At least may ginawa naman aco.

Mayamaya, pinapasok na rin kaming lahat. 'Di na kami kinuhanan ng temperature. We found out that there were a lot of sick students yesterday. Almost 61 daw. E sa section palang namin, halos kalahati rin ang wala kahapon dahil may sakit. Aco nga medyo sinisinat pa. (Pero pumasok pa rin aco! HAHA! Hayaan nga, ipalaganap ang virus!)

For me, we shouldn't be that paranoid with Influenza A(H1N1). Yes, it is just right to ensure our health and safety, pero 'wag masyadong paranoid. It's just a mild kind of flu, as the DOH says. Ipagpalagay na lang natin na isa lang itong ubo na maraming nahawa. Ganun. May lunas naman na dito e; the government is doing what it can do for the people's safety.

But of course, we should be careful. Mahirap nga namang mahawaan ng sakit. 'Wag lang talagang mapaparanoid. :)

---

Nung uwian ng umaga, I saw Lea at the corridor area. So I approached her at nagkipag-chikahan. Nagdramahan nga kami e. Pa'no kasi, about nostalgic things ang pinag-uusapan namin.

I miss this kind of bonding with Lea. Minsan na lang kami kasi magkasama ngayon e. Nakakatuwa din na may pagkakataon pa kaming mag-bonding. And I told her the things that I couldn't discuss with my other friends. I mean, syempre, may mga bagay na mas kumportable acong kay Lea sabihin, at may mga bagay na mas kumportable naman acong sabihin sa iba.

And I felt nostalgic. I told her how I feel about our other friends. How they are changing, how they seem to be unreachable (lalo na yung mga nasa star). Pero in fairness naman sa kanila, nagri-reach out sila sa'min. Hindi rin lumalaki yung ulo nila kahit marami na silang accomplishment.

But still, I miss the "old" them. I mean, I miss it when they're still within my hands' reach. I miss it when I am such a close friend to them, unlike now when there are already lots of people around them that they barely yearn or want my company.

I know I am just being selfish. Of course I am happy that they're growing up everyday, maturing in such good ways. But at the same time, I could feel the nostalgia as I look at them, realizing how different the things are now.

Habang nagku'kwentuhan kami ni Lea, Eday approached us. Speaking of the devil, the devil is here. Haha. Nagpapasama nga magpa-print ng mga picture ng mga mag-eEagle scout.

Actually, anung oras na at dapat e nasa bahay na co. Pero sabi co, minsan lang naman 'to na makakapag-bonding aco sa mga taong mahal co. Edi lubos-lubosin na.

Ang landi-landi ni Eday ngayon. Well, actually, parati naman e. Pero nakakatuwa kasi kasama namin siya. Kelan ba yung huling pagkakataon na nakasama cong mag-bonding si Adrian at Lea at the the same time? I couldn't remember anyomore. And now, I'll just savor the moment 'till it lasts.

Nagyaya nga siya ng scramble. E umalis na, kaya nag-7-eleven na lang kami. Slurpee, yung maliit lang ang cup. Haha.

"Ang saya ng araw na ito." Lea said as we went back to school. And I agreed with her. Yes. This is such an awesome day. Because I am with my friends, the people that I love. : )

Fever

I was really feeling bad yesterday that I immediately slumped on the sofa after taking off my P.E. uniform. I was planning to just snooze off a bit, I slept the whole night away. My stomach was grumbling when I woke up at the middle of the night, but I didn't care to eat dinner. And heck, neck and forehead felt hot.

Oh great, so I have a little fever. Blame it to my sore throat. Dang, kapag masakit talaga ang lalamunan co, pati buong katawan co sumasakit. So my life really depends on my voice, eh?

I woke up unusually early this morning. I was planning to review Math, but I end up in the couch again. I really feel weak. At para pa acong binugbog sa sobrang sakit ng katawan co. Salamat sa pesteng sinat co.

When called Ayyah, she told me not to attend the choir and just rest. As if I would let a stupid fever prevail me from attending the choir.

So naghanda na aco papunta sa school. Umuulan pa nga e. Nung papunta na aco sa school, umaambon pa. Mama told me to bring an umbrella, pero sira naman yung payong. Kaya sumugod aco sa ambon. Ang galing co nu? May sinat pa aco ng lagay na 'yan. Sadista talaga. (Btw, my mom didn't know that I'm running a temperature. She'll surely make me stay in the house if she does.)

Alas dos na pero wala pang lima ang choir members sa school pagdating co. Yung Batingaw naman nasa may stage. Akala co ba alas-dos ang practice? Ang ba-bait talaga.

Dapat magre-review kami ni Ayyah. Pero tinatamad aco. Nakakatamad talagang magbasa ng mga numbers. Worse, numbers na may kasamang letters. Tinitingnan co pa lang, tinatamad na aco. (Pa'nu kaya aco magkakaroon ng pag-asa sa UPCAT nito? XD )

Dumating si Remo at ginawa ang narrative report ng Banyuhay Club. In Filipino ah. Talagang napatunayan cong mas mahirap gumawa ng mga sulatin sa Tagalog than English. XD

Nako, baka hindi nagawa ni Abby yung narrative report ng Glee Club. Tinatamad pa naman acong gawan. =D

Dumating naman si Gerard na iika-ika. Ayun, napilay ang paa dahil sa volleyball. Katangahan kasi, tumalon tapos na-bend yung paa niya. Di tuloy siya makapglakad ng maayos.

Kaya nang dumating si Sir ng alas-tres, inakay pa siya pataas. Dun kami sa room nila magpa-practice kase nga yung Batingaw e ginagamit yung stage.

Late nang dumating ang mga galing sa review for the UPCAT. Di rin kami masyadong nakapag-practice ng maayos kasi pina-practice ni Jasmin yung chords ng mga kanta.

Somehow, I felt better. Though I'm still a little bit hot, I feel okay. Maybe this is really my own medicine: the sight of school and my friends. I couldn't afford to feel weak when I feel happy being with them. (Woot, ang drama.)

We went to the church at five. We sang well, thankfully. Maaga ring natapos ang misa, though wala acong masyadong naintindihan sa homily. ;p

Paglabas namin sa simbahan, nagulat na lang kami nang makita namin si Lumbania na parang nagwawala. Sa'ming choir nakatingin. Hala, anong meron??

Nakatingin lang kami sa kanya habang akala mo e maghahamon siya ng away. Of course we all wondered to whom he is angry with, until I heard Joselle mumbling taunting words habang nagtataray sa kanya.

So si Joselle pala ang hinahamon niya. Ex daw kasi ng ate niya si Lumbania, na niloko lang nito. Kaya ayun, nagalit si Joselle at "inaway" niya.

Eto namang si Lumbania, akala mo lalaki ang hinahanap kung maghamon e. Parang handang-handang makipagbabagan.

Buti na lang umalis na rin siya. Inawat ni Marian kaya medyo nawala na rin ang tensyon. Sus, akala pala nila si Eday ang kaaway. Haha! At nagawa pa naming pagkatuwaan si Joselle at ang sitwasyon.

Hinatid muna nila Ablay si Joselle sa sakayan para makasiguradong hindi na siya aabangan ni Lumbania. At pagkatapos, pumunta na kami sa 7-eleven.

Para kaming nagpu-prusisyon dahil nga iika-ika si Gerard. Moonwalk e. Ang sarap pagtawanan e! Haha! Ang bad co talaga! >:)

I treated Adrian this time. Parati naman kasi niya acong nililibre. Saka feeling nice aco ngayun e. =D

The 7-eleven was filled with noise because of us. Puro tawanan dahil sa mga okrayan, kulitan, biruan. Our table was full of plastic and cups and junk food clutters.

But it felt good, laughing like this with the people that I consider as friends. I love laughing like this, laughing like there is no tomorrow, laughing so loud that my stomach and jaw hurt, laughing with the people I love.

Anong oras na rin nung magkayaan kami umuwi. Sabi pa naman ni mama umuwi aco ng maaga. We parted in groups. I was with Bart, Jayjay, Eday and Gerard because they would be coming back to the main building, at dun ang way co. Sila Ayyah naman umuwi na.

Dahil tinatamad pa rin naman acong umuwi, sumama na rin aco kila Gerard. Pero nakita niya sila Jago, at nagpahintay muna siya sa'min dahil ihahatid niya daw ito. Ihahatid. Nang ganun yung paa niya. Nice. Pustahan tayo, pagapang na iyong babalik.

So we waited. Tawanan pa rin kami ng tawanan. Nagpapa-tangkaran pa nga etong mga lalaking 'to. At si Eday, dahil malandi, nabubog ang paa! Hahaha! Magpapatangkaran pa kasi. Buti na lang di na aco sumali (kung sabagay wala naman acong laban sa kanila XD).

Ang tagal pa naming naghintay. Wala. Nasagasaan na siguro yun si Gerard. Nagulungan yung isa pang paa. Gagapang na talaga 'yun pauwi.

Dahil ang tagal-tagal ni Gerard, umuwi na rin aco. Mag-aalas-otso na sa orasan namin (advance kasi e), buti na lang di aco pinagalitan ni Mama. :)

It was such a wonderful day, kahit sininat pa aco at masama ang pakiramdam. God is really good to me. ^^

First Friday Mass

July 4, 2009; Friday

I was kinda anxious today. This is the first First Friday mass that I am going to attend with the choir (the last time, I was in the oath-taking for the SSG).

Every section lined up in the quadrangle first. I was looking for the third year when I saw the Basil making their way through the crowd. Good, at least I don't need to call them up.

"Punta na lang kayo sa simbahan ah, hahanapin co pa Peter." I instructed them. Remo volunteered to go with me, thankfully. And gaah, after that long way up to the Peter's room, I didn't find anyone in there. Great.

Remo and I just went to the church. Upon reaching the choirbox, I saw the St. Peters. Nako. Nauna pa pala sila sa'min.

I occupied the seat near the stairs. For a second, I felt proud sitting in this area. When I was in first year and second year, this is where the "authorities" sit, while we stay at the far corner. I mean, kahit kasi wala nang available na upuan sa part na ito, talagng dito at dito pa rin aco, as well as the other "older" members, uupo. Kami nila Adrian, Remo, Jayjay. Yung parang "authorities" nga.

Don't get me wrong. I still don't want to be an authority fugure. But still, I could feel an unexplainable happiness because I am the one "governing" the organization that I love. Aco ang may hawak sa club that I served for almost 5 years. The org where my true friends is, the people that I love. And of course, the org which is my instrument is serving Him. :)

Sabi nga nila, liga ng star ang Glee Club. Ilan lang ba kaming non-star sa choir? Lima lang yata. For such a long time, star section student ang namumuno sa organization na ito. Aco lang ang sumira sa "chain". And I feel proud, dahil isang non-star ang namumuno sa liga ng mga star. It may seem petty, but it's a big thing for me. Because they entrust me this organization, they gave me the chance to lead them. I, who is a non-star student.

Of course, this is not between stars and non-stars. This is about my passion for the choir. I never wished or thought of being the Glee Club president, but I'm happy that I am. This is the fruit of my years of service for the choir and for Him, my last year in this org, and I am going to make it memorable. :)

Parang medyo konti lang kami. Si Ayyah, wala. Buti sila Gerard at Tan e nakadating kahit hindi co nasabihan. I though Adrian wouldn't sing with us because he's still not around, so I was kinda surprised when I saw him on the stairs.

"O? Bakit nandito ka? Kakanta ka?" I said almost bluntly.

"Aba bakit, ayaw mo? Sige, bababa na aco." He joked.

"Hindi. Akala co lang naman."

He took a chair from the corner and sat on "this" area. Authorities. :)

Before the mass started, Sir Bautisa arrived. Buti na lang.

I didn't understand a thing on the mass. We're busy chatting with each other (ang bad namin nu?). During the homily, as Adrian and I were talking, napunta kami sa mga pagbabago sa kanya.

Yes, he is changing. Maturing, perhaps. And as he grows up as an individual, he's becoming unreachable. I mean, yes, he's reaching out on us, on me, but the fact that he is a "big" person now and not just the ordinary student I first met is so clear. And I told all of that to him.

"Pero parang ganun pa'rin naman aco ah," he said. I could see his eyes getting misty, as well as mine. I'm really a sensitive person, especially to my friends. "Kung ano naman ang ginagawa co dati, ayun pa rin ang ginagawa co pa rin."

"Oo nga, pero hindi mo naman maiaalis na nagbabago ka na talaga. Parang... ang layo mo na." I told him, then biglang kambyo, "Pero in fairness naman sa'yo, di nalaki yung ulo mo. Humble ka pa rin naman saka lumalapit ka pa rin sa'min kahit.. iba na level mo. Saka maganda naman para sa'yo yung pagbabago mo e. Gaya na lang nang mas nagiging lalaki ka na kahit papano," we both smiled when I mentioned that. "Pero hindi co pa rin maalis na malungkot kasi... nagbabago ka na."

He's changing. As well as my other friends. They're are all maturing, growing up, while I'm still a childish, immature girl--physically and emotionally--someone who dwells in the past, unable to move on because my most precious memories belong to that special chapter of my life.

The mass ended. Ang sama co, nakipagdaldalan lang aco. >:) But thank you, Lord, because You gave me time to be with the my friends. :)

Rush

Last Saturday, I was praying almost the whole day. The deadline for the UPCAT forms is just a few days away, and my mother still didn't know all about it. I was planning not to say it at all, but I was unable to save the money for the examination fee, so I have to tell it to her, or I won't be ablt to take the examination ever.

The reason why I don't want to tell it to my mother is because she doesn't want me to study college in Manila. I don't want to elaborate more about it, but a word that would best describe her reason is 'over-protectiveness'.

So I arrange the requirements all by myself, the only problem is the fee. I was anxious and worried that Saturday because Ayyah's mom would be passing the forms in UPD on Monday. Even my friends were wishing--and perhaps, praying--that my mom will allow me.

When I got home after the choir, I was thinking of ways how to say it and gathering all my guts. I had even crossed my mind not to tell it at all. But I though, "Would I let my only chance to take the UPCAT slip away because of cowardness? Would I waste all of my prayers, as well as my friends'?"

So after hours of thinking, I made up my mind to tell it. It was already midnight. Mama is using her laptop, listening to music with her headphones, when I approached her.

"Mama.." I started.

"O?"

"May sasabihin aco sa'yo."

"Ano 'yun?"

"'Wag kang magagalit ah?"

"?"

"Magte-take aco ng UPCAT."

So I've already blurted it out. It was maybe my first tome to try a "maamong" approach on telling serious things and asking permissions to her.

Her response made me feel jubilant and somewhat annoyed with myself.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?" Her tone was like saying.

Oh great. So she would have allowed me if I said it earlier, and who knows, I might even attended a review class. But no time for regrets--I am not the kind of person who cry over a spilt milk. But I really feel happy that I can take the UPCAT.

--

Ayyah's mom was the one who deposited my payment on the bank on Monday. The next day, she took our forms to pass it in UP.

And heck, I am the only one who doesn't have a companion on the examination day. I mean, among my friends, they would all be taking the exam on August 2--some on morning, others in afternoon, but still, they have someone with the same examination day and time as theirs--except me!

But it's okay, though it would be more fun if I would have a friend with me on the examination day.

--

Everything is in rush. Maybe because we didn't take care of the matters earlier.

And I have just a month to review.

I'm not really expecting that I will pass in UP. It would be more like a experience to me. But still, I should pass the exam, if I don't want to study my college somewhere near our place, where the schools aren't that good.

Ivy, fighto!


Oh great. So my English sucks in this post. Sheesh. What the heck! I'll just gonna edit this later. I'm too sleepy now.

Great Day!~

June 20, 2009; Saturday

I had a very great day. I laughed so much; everyone seemed to be so happy. How I wish this will always happen. =D

I woke up at six in the morning, contrary to what I’ve planned to wake up at 5am. It’s still early, though.

Before 7am, I was on my way to school. The outside of Liceo was full of fourth year students because we would be having our fist CAT. Too bad I can’t join them now. The Gatekeeper staff will be going to Liceo de Los Baños for the seminar in campus journalism.

I immediately looked up for the other staffers. Adrian and the others were in the bulletin side. So, Jaymiriz would also be in the presscon. I sighed in my mind. The misunderstanding between the two of us isn’t cleared up yet. T_T

“Seminar ang pupuntahan natin, hindi modeling.” Adrian joked upon seeing my favorite high-heeled sandals on my feet.

Mou, I want like this one. :)

“Bahala ka, kapag nadapa ka, di ka namin kilala.” Ginnique said, then acted a monologue. “’Yung kasama niyo, nadapa o!’ ‘Ay, di namin kasama yan!’” And the laughter erupted.

Ms. Varcas would be the one to accompany us because Mr. Luna has to attend his classes in PNU. He’s taking up his masterals, by the way.

After minutes of waiting, Jeje and Gerard finally came. Gerard was the one chosen instead of Chalson in photojournalism. Gerard, our photographer who didn’t even bring a camera. Oh, great.

Ayyah was the last one to come, to think that she told me she will come early. When she arrived, we prepared ourselves to go. We boarded on the school’s van. Mou, I’m seated at the back. x]

Just a few minutes after we stared travelling, Adrian borrowed Jay’s newspaper to “read news”, but ended up on the daily horoscope page. My horoscope said that a sudden melancholia would be coming on this day. Yay!

We didn’t make to much noise on the rest of the travel. Ugh, some of us are feeling dizzy, including me. I feel like throwing up at any moment (but of course, I never throw up during trips).

After more than an hour, we reached LDLB. And we saw Mrs. Escobin, our first year English teacher. I think she’s already teaching in here.

Licceo de Los Baños is already a familiar place for me. I’ve been here when I was in sixth-grader when we competed in inter-Liceo choir competition. We also made a stop over here on our way home from the presscon when I was in first year.

We occupied the room at the lower part. IV-St. Augustine. The room was air-conditioned but we still feel dizzy. Ugh.

“Ayun o, may CR. Dun ka mag-‘blow’.” Jaymiriz suddenly said… to me!

I looked at him and then grope him at the neck. Yay! Bati na kami!

Mrs. Evelyn Navia was the lecturer. I know her because she had already conducted a workshop on us back in freshmen year.

There are 56 of us in the room. Forty-five were from LDLB, plush the 11 of us. I think they haven’t arranged their positions yet.

At 9:30, we had a break. “Working break” was what it is called because we have to finish a news article Ms. Navia asked us to do. =,=

The seminar continued on. Because I had slept at past three in the morning, I felt sleepy. Yaawn.

We had lunch before 12 noon. Because some of us didn’t bring packed lunch, we went to Jollibee. Ayah said she wanted to go to UPLB and even texted Haiezel so we can meet her up. She’s in Manila, unfortunately.

We reached the mall-like place. I remembered that this is where we saw a woman with colorful umbrella on our way to Pakil for the leadership training. LOL.

After they ordered their food, we began eating our lunch. And because both Ayyah and I brought packed lunch, we just ordered swirly bits for dessert. ^^

Gaah, we haven’t finished the editorial Ms. Navia asked us to do. Never mind, I am to lazy to do that. ;p (<-Don’t imitate this lazy feature editor. XD) We’re already full and it’s already 1pm so we decided to go back, even we still want to wander around. We gave our fare to Gerard so it would be easier to give them to the driver. Ayyah was helping Gerard count the coins when Adrian hailed a jeepney. I thought the driver didn’t see us but the vehicle slowed. I think it not the proper place to load passengers but the jeep slowed a little, waiting for us, though it didn’t really stop. We leisurely walked toward it. I was about to comment that the driver may have be intending us to run after his jeep until we reach LDLB when we realized that the jeep isn’t stopping.

We ran after it. And the heck, I was wearing a super high-heeled stilettos! XD

Some of us were on the entrance of the jeep while the others were still struggling to get it. I had a foot on the ‘tungtungan’ when someone pushed me away! T_T The jeep was still moving and I could feel the heels of my sandals screeching against the rough road. Dang! When finally I was able to step on the jeep, I was still hanging on the entrance, holding on the bars like a tarsier, literally, in fear of being left behind. Geez, pakiramdam co makakaladkad aco e. O hindi naman kaya e yung katulad sa anime na matatangay ka horizontally. You could have seen my legs as it hug the bars! FIRST TIME CONG SUMABIT SA JEEP!! HAHAHAHAHA! XD Good thing someone helped me in.

I thought I was the last person to board. But when I looked behind, I saw Ayyah and Jeje running after the jeep!

“Hoy, sandali!! Pamasahe co!” Jeje cried as she run after the jeepney. If you just saw the expression in their face, it was LOL-some!! PRICELESS!!!! HAHAHAHA!

The driver finally slowed a little, allowing Ayyah and Jeje to ride on the vehicle. And we were all laughing so hard. Kanda sakit na tiyan namin kakatawa, maluha-luha na kami. Grabe, this is sure some kind of extraordinary experience!

The jeep was full of laughter that we didn’t even notice that we’re already on LDLB. We thought that the seminar is already starting, but we’re still laughing as we walk to the room. Di kami maka-recover e. Good thing Ms. Navia wasn’t there yet.

And as I walk toward my seat, I tripped on my own foot. So much of laughing like crazy. =_=

We continued doing our work, and I couldn’t put a meaningful on my editorial. Gaah, seems like I lost all the ideas in my head because of what happened. Nyaha, nakalog yata ang utak co! XD

It’s not necessary, anyway. We already have our designated positions. I think Ms. Navia only asked us to do this to determine the positions of LDLB’s staffers.

The hours went on. Gaah, I’m getting sleepy again. I exchanged seat with Jeje and sat beside Adrian when it’s time to discuss Feature writing because I can’t clearly see the words scrawled on the board because I’m in the corner seat. Nang gumawa ‘tong si Jayjay ng kalokohan. He drew a pair of eyes on a piece of horizontal paper, then placed it over his own eyes. We were giggling again. It was intended to ‘hide’ our sleeping eyes (as if it is possible).

Maybe Ms. Navia noticed that we’re getting sleepy so we ‘evacuated’ on another room. This time we occupied a room from the school building on the entrance. The building looked a little like “T2” because it’s a bit spooky.

Ms. Navia discussed Sports Writing. And after that, the seminar ended. Whoa, it's only 3:30pm. Yatta! We can attend the choir! =D

But Ms. Varcas said that our service will come at 5pm. Yay! The service should come now!

While waiting for our service, nanghiram sila Jayjay ng bola ng basketball para makapaglaro kami. At naglaro nga kami, I tried shooting while wearing my stilettos but I failed no matter how many time I tried. x)

When we got tired from playing, we just sat and waited at the entrance while talking about those funny moments. The experience with the jeep a while ago, the happenings in leadership training, the happy moments--we laughed aloud on them. I never laughed this way for a long time. Just now, just on moments like these, can I laughed until my jaw and my stomach hurt. Just when I am with my friends.

At 4pm, our service came. Yada! Inagawan co ng pwesto si Ginnique, naso-suffocate kasi talaga aco sa pwesto co e. Nandun tuloy aco sa may side ng bintana at si Ginnique naman ay tumabi kay Miss sa driver's seat.

I asked Adrian to open the window beside me because I couldn't open it. At nagsimula na ang ingay sa sasakyan. Habang umaandar yung van, nagsisisigaw kami sa mga tao sa labas ng "Hi!". Well, pasimuno aco e. Hehe.. Tawanan kami ng tawanan at gumaya naman sila. Palakpakan kami kapag kinakawayan din kami ng mga tao. Bwahahaha! Yeah, we're like crazy people. XD

Siguro nasa Calamba na kami ng mapagod kami kakakaway sa mga tao sa labas. The trip back was fast. Great, we're going to make it on the mass.

As soon as we reached the school and stepped out of the van, we immediately run to the CR. Haha. Super puputok na pantog co e. The other choir went to the church and we came running after them.

Pag-akyat co sa choirbox--WAW! Nagulat aco e. Punong-puno ng tao ang choirbox. Siksikan na nga e. Lahat yata ng choir members e umattend. My sermon paid off!

I felt so happy. Nakakatuwa. Ang dami namin ngayon. Ang huling pagkakataon na ganito karami ang umattend sa choir e nung first year pa aco.

Dun aco puwesto sa may dulo, sa may electric fan. Super inet kase e, ang haggard co na. Di pala kakanta ng salmo ngayon si Siacey kase di nakapagpractice but we will be singing a new song for the communion. Good thing I know the song.

The bell ran, signaling the start of the mass. And I was surprised on how powerful our voice are. Ang lakas nung kanta namin, hindi katulad na nag-istruggle kami kasi kakaunti lang yung mga umaattend. Choir nga pala kami, I thought. Not just a group of five singers, but a choir. I feel so happy and proud. Silly as it may sound, but I feel like crying. I couldn't help the smile on my lips. I looked at Adrian ang we exchange meaningful glances. Yes, I know he felt the same way as me.

I made the high ending on the entrance song and Papuri. Buti na lang nakaya co. Medyo nakakatawa lang aco sa ending ng Papuri kase masyadong mataas yung note kaya napataas co pa yung paa co para maabot yung tono. Bu I did good, I think. I was the only one to sing the high ending pero nangibabaw yung boses co. ^^

Sumamblay lang kami sa may Communion Song, "Awit ng Paghahangad". Yung voicing kasi ng alto e. Pero okay lang, unang bese lang naman kasing kantahin yung song e. But we did very good. Sana parating maraming aattend. And I told that to them when the mass ended.

I asked Mabel to lead the prayer. She was Mr. Bautista's daughter and a new member.

Nagkayayaan kami sa 7-eleven, pero pupunta pa sila Remo sa Novo kaya nauna na kami nila Jayjay, Arbu, At Gerard. Gaah, pagod at gutom na aco. Pero sinundo naman ni Eday si Gerard, may pupuntahan yata sila.

It's almost 8pm when I went home. Mama immediately told me to take a bath with hot water. Too paranoid of me catching a "flu". Iba na talaga ang nagagawa ng H1N1 sa mga tao. But I obeyed her. After taking a bath, I went to bed and slept, not even caring to eat dinner. Kumain anman na aco sa 7-eleven ng Teki Shomen e.

My day is super great. There are so many happy things that happened, and the sadness didn't came, contary to what my horoscope said. I wish my dys would always be this great :)