Facebook

Yeah. Right. I'm using Facebook now and I'm one of those pretty lot of people who are going crazy over it. Facebook was even much-talked about in school. Well, it's undeniably popular.

My FB account had been around for a long time now. I joined the site at the moment I learned about it, but like most of the social sites I've joined, it had been stagnant for the first months. I rarely open it, I just check out on the updates and confirm friend request. I once tried playing Pet Society but didn't like it at that time.

The popularity of Facebook in our school became widespread this August. Everyone's babbling about it. So I decided to try to browse the site. And now, I've been playing various games in it. XD

And hey! Kindly add me! My e-mail address is kawaii_shojo25@yahoo.com : )


I always see this camera on TV that instantly develop pictures. You know that? The one that "gives out" a photo paper after you take pictures and you need to blow the photo paper for a few minutes and the image will appear. It's really so so awesome and I badly want one! I really don't know what it is call but I think it is instant camera? (It was the keyword I searched in Google)

I heard that this brand (Polaroid) stopped manufacturing instant cameras and "film paper" something is harder to buy.

I want this kind of camera! Does anyone know where can I buy this and how much? Gawsh, it's awesome! I'm gonna add this in my wishlist. XD

Unexpected Meet-up

We had our CAT training today, and I was late... again.

During the whole training, I was planning and thinking how could I get to Festival. Remo's birthday is on Thursday, and I need to look for something I could give to him.

So during the 10-minute break, I asked Ayyah if she could accompany me to Festi.

"O! Sumama ka na lang sa'min ni Muken! Magkikita kami ngayon e! Pupunta kaming Southmall, papaayos yung cellphone ni Jas!" She said enthusiastically.

I would looove to see Muken--erm, I mean, Louise. Ayyah even told me that Louise would be meeting up with Kriselle, so I would see her too. The idea was tempting, but I might have to spend money with that. I mean, I'm saving every cent--literally--for Remo's gift, and the fare to Southmall would be another expense. Well, it was petty, really, but still...

But Ayyah said that she and Louise could just drop me on Festi--maybe hang out in there for a while--then, they could go to Southmall. I would be all by myself, though, but I agreed. At least she could accompany me to Festi.

We hanged in the school before going home. We agreed to meet in Puregold at 2pm.

Because I was really super kuripot (especially these days), I walked my way to Puregold. The "sign" I was waiting happened, anyway. I told myself that I'll just walk to our meeting place if the sun shines, and it did. So I engaged myself in a little "walkathon" while wearing my favorite high-heeled sandals. :)

I reached Puregold at 2:00. And gawsh, Ayyah wasn't still there. So I waited for her for minutes. Hn, I knew this would happen. That girl. I was getting paranoid, when at last, I saw her.

Upon reaching Festival Mall, we went inside the National Bookstore for a while. Then Louise texted her, telling that they're in the food court.

We hurriedly went to food court, with Ayyah dragging me that I almost tripped. Ayyah, I'm wearing sandals here, not running shoes!

"Nakita co na sila Muken!!!" Ayyah said to me, getting more hyperactive, dragging me even more.

"TALAGA?!!" My excitement bursted up. "Teka! 'Wag muna tayong magpakita!! 'Wag mo munang sabihin sa'kin kung nasan sila!!"

Muka lang kaming tanga. Hahaha!

We went to ladies' comfort room before showing up to them. We saw Louise and Kriselle on a table, and I wa ssurprisingly shy when I waved on them.

"Hi.."

Louise kept on waving to me. Mou, akala co pa naman dati, suplada siya (Sorry, Louise, if your reading this entry! >.>). But she's friendly naman pala. :)

A girl eating ice cream sat beside Kriselle, and she greeted me. The girl looked familiar, but I couldn't tell who she was. I looked at Ayyah, asking some help.

"Si Aina."

Oh. Si Aina pala yun. I greeted her back.

The table was full of laughter. I butted in to the conversation sometimes, but I was surprisinly quiet. Medyo nahihiya pa kasi aco e.

Sadly, Kriselle needs to go home na. She was carrying to big bags, na ang laman daw e mga damit niyang pinagsiksikan niya lang. Galing yata siyang dorm niya e. Sayang naman. Well, at least nakita co siya. (And she's cuuuuute~!)

Dahil hindi pala pwede si Louise na samahan si Ayyah sa Southmall, kailangan cong sumama sa kanya kasi wala siyang kasama. But I still need to look for my gift to Remo in Festival. So we toured around.

Pumunta muna ulit kami sa National Bookstore to look for a special paper for the box. Well, I make a personally made box which cointains a birthday message inside to my [close] friends during their birthdays. Nung birthday ni Ayyah nagsimula last year yung box na yun e.

Aina and Louise. Aina's holding the banig-like... planner?

Nung makalabas na kami ng National Bookstore, Ayyah told me to take off my sandals. Oh great, she wanted to show them how small I am. What a sadist. But I gave in and took off my sandals, and Louise and Aina's faces was like O_O, and then they started saying things like, "Ang liit mo pala!" , "Ang cute!" , "Muka kang chibi!". Ohoho. Among the other people who saw how small I am, sa reaction nila aco pinakanatuwa.

We went to Clipper after that, in attempt to find a gift for Remo. Baka alkansya o kaya unan ang ibigay co sa kanya. Pwede na yun. Haha. :)

We decided to go to Comic Alley, the otakus' paradise. On our way, sa may second floor, was a man standing on a box-like thing. Or was it a statue? Maybe it was one of those "robot-like" man in malls. Because of curiosity, I approached the dude, attempting to hold him to know if it was real, but suddenly, it moved!!

And GAWSH, I screamed and freaked out and went back to the group (and I did it all at the same time)! I bet I really looked funny!

We approached the dude and he moved in a funny way and we took picture with him. Hohoho.~

Me with the "robot-like" dude. Bungisngis ee! XD

It's Louise turn!~

Next, we saw this mascot dancing Jai Ho. I gaped at it and pointed it like a child. There was a woman who approached us and kindly asked us if we want her to take pictures with the mascot. So Louise gave the lady her camera and we posted beside the mascot.

Ang cute ng mascot nu? HAHA!

Kamuka co na ba si Kim? x)

Finally, we made our way to Comic Alley. We saw the Vongola rings being displayed on the window and they were like, "WOW!". (If I'm not mistaken, I think the Vongola rings came from the anime Reborn! but sadly, I'm still in the episode 20 something, so I didn't much about it.)

We went inside it. While I was looking for the items, someone bumped hips with me. And I saw it was the "salesman" guy in the store. Under normal situation, I would've raised my brows to him and gave him the mataray look and walk away, but I saw Louise greeting the other attendants in CA, so I think it was harmless to smile at him. He was friendly enough when I talked to him, but still, I was feeling concious.

But that guy was the one who kindly took us pictures. And he has the Vongola rings! *Ayyah, Louise, and Aina's eyes sparkle with amazement and envy. HAHA!*

Group picture in Comic Alley. :)

Unfortunately, we need to part ways. Aina needed to go back to her school while Louise would be going home.

Ayyah and I went to Southmall to have Jasmin's cellphone repaired. That costed Ayyah 1, 100 PhP. Tsk.

We even saw Brenan from Pinoy Pop Superstar. He was having a mall tour. Ayyah was staring at her dreamingly when I approached her (I bought a cone of ice cream, despite my cough and colds).

"Tawagin natin." I said to Ayyah.

"'Yoko nga! Nakakahiya!"

"Basta, acong bahala. Tatawagin co ah."

"Langya ka." Ayyah smiled, siguro napapahiya na sa'kin.

Tahimik na noon. Hindi na maingay ang mga fans. At dahil papansin acong tunay, sumigaw aco ng ubod ng lakas.

"BRENAAAAN!!!"

The people looked up on me. Ayyah smiled. But I was disappointed dahil hindi man lang lumngon si Brenan. Parang wala lang. Wala na, ayoko na sa kanya. =___=

(Pictures courtesy of Louise.)

She Who Dwells In The Darkness

Title: She Who Dwells In The Darkness
Author: chibivy
Summary: She’s extremely ordinary and plain. She lives in her own little world. She dwells in the darkness. But he is determined to put a smile on her lips.
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Rating: Rated T

Read She Who Dwells In The Darkness

Yay! I've already revised the first chapter of my first-ever story that I've published online. Hohoho.

I've thought of giving up on that story. But after months of sudden abandonment, I realized I should finish things that I've started if I really want to make a good story. And the ideas are really wandering inside my mind; it would be too bad if I won't write them down.

I've just uploaded the first chapter in FictionPress.com but I'm currently working on the third one. I'm still thinking and revising the contents of the second chapter, thinking if I could add some more on it so I haven't uploaded it yet.

Mou, please read it and review my story! This is my first story so please be kind to me! Nyahahaha! ^^

Yatta! Ai-chan's writing spirit is buuurniiiiiiing!!~ =3

Short post

Last night, I decided to tell Mama about the I:U meet up. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: Mama, may sinalihan kasi acong forums sa internet. E anniversary namin sa.. *kunwari nag'isip* 27. E magkikita-kita yung mga members. Sa Southmall.

Mama: Ay naku, tigilan mo aco ah.

Me: Dalina. Si Ayyah naman yung isa sa mga founders nun e.

Mama: Ewan co sa'yo, tigilan mo co.

I told her other things to persuade her, but she simply ignored me. Finally, I decided not to push it farther; I'm just going to try again tomorrow.

Since that conference in YM with some of the I:U members, I've been thinking of ways how to tell and persuade my mother to let me go to the meet-up. I've been gathering guts to say it. But what did I get? I was ignored.

That was the problem with her. I ask permission properly (and honestly), yet she always ignore me. =/

Okay enough. I don't want to rant now. Tsk. But I badly want to go! I wanted to meet I:U people. If I don't come now, I'll have to wait for another year. Mou, I really want to come.

*sigh*

Updates

I've been on hiatus here in my blog for the past few weeks again. Oh, I always check my dashboard for new entries in the blogs that I follow and always attempts to make a new blog post but I just can't write. Maybe I'm just too lazy to type. Hohoho..

So, what happened in my ordinary, boring life during those days? Here are the updates (random order):

* Mama had our computer reformatted. Finally! We gained our computer sounds and MS Paint. Our OS looked like Windows Vista, though the information in my computer says it's XP. Ah, whatever. But it has fewer themes and our Microsoft Office version is 2003. :( (But I borrowed an Office 2007 installer from Ayyah, though I haven't installed it yet.) Anyway, it's faster.. compared before.

* Our internet connection is pissing me off! It is so annoying! It always display "Page Load Error", saying that the connection was reset. WTF!? Oftentimes, a page's appearance is always in Basic HTML and the default character encoding is Unicode. And some of the images can't be displayed! It's so annoying! Nagta'tyaga na nga lang aco e.

* We started singing the Psalm in choir last week. I was the first one to sing though it's not as beautiful as everyone seem to expect from me because of so much nervousness and insecurities and they're all surprised when they saw me wearing a white blouse and long white skirt, looking so conservative and manang-like. They even teased me Aling Dionisa, deboto, and an Iglesia ni Kristo member. XD

* I'm starting to resurrect the online social networks I've joined and forgotten. As for now, I'm done with Multiply and Twitter and working on my LJ account.

* I'm getting into Twitter. I'm even planning to embed it here in my blogsite.

* I'm planning to change my blogspot layout. Yeah, I got tired it it easily. But I might need Kriselle's help (as always) and I'm getting shy to ask help from her because I know she's busy right now. And besides, I don't want to get into blog-hunting again. So I might just have to bear with it.

* I'm planning to revive my writing "career". In fact, I've joined various original fiction sites. But original fictions are still not popular, especially most of my online friends are fanfic writers.

* I'm getting sentimental these past few days. Especially because I'm getting into my senior high year. =/

* I think my eyesight is getting poor. Blame it to my computer addiction and reading even in with poor light. I think eyeglasses are cool if I'll just use them as accessories but not as a necessity!

*I'm pathetically in love with someone I shouldn't be in love with.

Did you just noticed that most of the updates in my life are mostly online-related? Yeah. I'm getting addicted with online stuffs. >__<

Yey! New layout!

At last, after months of blogskin-hunting, I already found one. :)

I really liked my previous blog layout--I love brown and pink combination--but after sometime, I grew tired of it and decided I should get a new one. Thus, the start of my search for a new layout.

It took me a pretty lot of time until I found something that I like. I was even torn between two blogskins but in the end, I decided to use this one.

I excitedly paste the layout code in my blog template and it looks good. So I edited the parts that need editing.

But I had problems with the code. It was so complex that I couldn't understand some of the it. It is a complex CSS code and I am not so knowledgeable in it because we only studied basic HTML. (I just learned some CSS on blog layout codes.)

I had trouble adding "sections" at the sides. Changing the tagboard is also a pain; I was planning to put my previous cbox but it wouldn't do. I signed up in cbox.ws and try to embed the cbox that I made ut it still had some problems. So at the end, I just gave up and use the original tagboard of the layout, although it has messages already (and continue to have from unknown users).

I also couldn't fix the comment page. Actually, it was Seru-chan (Kriselle) who helped me put the comment page in my previous layout.

Aaah. This is getting on my nerves already. Finally, I asked some help by sending GMs through text and to my contact list in YM.

Yatta! Seru-chan responded to my GM in YM. Yey! I asked her this and that, until finally she asked me if I could send her the blog code. I sent her the revised one--the one that I've already edited--and told her the things I wanted to change and add. Nilubos co na ang kanyang kabutihang-loob and asked if she could add the comment page.

Kriselle is sooo kind. I was even kinda shy and hesitant to ask help form her because she already helped me out in my previous layout. I was worried that I'm becoming a burden or disturbance to her (her status in YM is busy), but she kindly assured me it's okay. She told me that she could use the code to learn more on CSS because the layout in I:U needs to be changed.

Because she had limited time in the computer that day, she asked me if she could have the layout as her "assignment". I gladly said yes.

I continued studying and modifying the code like changing the color and size and still trying to figure out how to add section and change the tagboard.

Grabe! Hanga aco sa gumawa ng layout na ito! Ang tyaga niya dahil pati yung mismong pictures e mai code pa.

The next day, after I woke up from my nap (because I came from our swimming and was so tired), I opened the computer to edit the code again. I was about to check my Yahoo! Inbox when Kriselled PMed me, asking if I already recieved the new code she sent to me. I found it and quickly pasted it in my template, thanking Kriselle repeatedly.

I just edited some more and tada! Here is my new layout!

I can't get enough of thanking Kriselle for all the trouble she had in helping me out with my blog. She's so kind, helping ignorant person such as me. Hehe.. To think we aren't personally acquianted with each other; we just met in Imagination Unleashed forums. But she still helped me. Tuloi, I feel that I owe her a lot. And as a sign of my gratitude, I included her in the credits section. (See "Credits" at the right.)

Thank you so much, Seru-chan! I don't know how to thank you. I don't know what to do without your help. Basta, if you need my help, just PM me. I would gladly help if I can.

The appearance of my blog in IE still sucks. So if you use Internet Explorer, please use Mozilla Firefox instead. Magkakapatong kasi yung mga sections na nasa bandang baba.

I am thinking to change the image above. I would like to change it to my picture with " ♥ banat ni nene ;]" written on it. But I still don't know how to use Photoshop, just the basic ones. Perhaps I could ask someone to help me. Again. Haha.

The Impossible Quiz

Yey! A blog entry! After a long time! Hohoho.

I was lazily lurking in the net, doing some random stuff. Having nothing to do, I played boring, nonsense games and stupid quizzes when something caught my attention. The Impossible Quiz.


A flash game created by splapp-me-do, this will somewhat annoy you at first. But as you continue to answer the silly questions, you'll probably ask yourself, "Whoa!? Anu ba 'to? Is this even called a quiz?!!"

It says that the game isn't really impossible. But you might dig for your brains through your ears in answering this game. It sometimes requires logical thinking, sometimes you just need to leave it to your luck and guess the answers.

You have 3 lives throughout the quiz. Answer incorrectly and you'll lose one. Lose all 3 and it's Game Over. But you can git it again a try, if you're persistent.

Complete a certain number on questions correcyly, and you'll be awarded a SKIP. You can use this if you find a question diffucult and wanna move on to the next one. There are 7 to be earned daw. I don't know if you need to earn that seven, o kahit gamitin at ubusin mo lahat e okay lang. But some questions cannot be skipped and needs to be completed before you can move on.

Some questions have bomb. They're timed and you need to answer the question before your time runs out, otherwise it's game over for you dude. The time limits range from a generous 10 seconds to an evil 1 second. Yeah, no kidding, meron talagang one second. Cruel, huh?

Na'adik nga aco sa game na 'to. I even sent a GM to my contacts in YM to share the game. Ate Jhaey ask me what's about it and I told her to just try it herself. So sinagutan na namin pareho. And she's kinda fast huh? Or am I just slow? I even asked her the answers to some questions.

So nalaro na pala ni Ayyah yung game. Actually, yung ate niya yung nakalaro but she know some of the answers. Nagpatulong din aco sa kanya sa iba. Kadayaan talaga. Hahaha.

Keirulf also tried it. But I lost my internet connection so I didn't know what happened to her.

Later on, I resume playing the quiz. Yay! Ilang oras na aco dito ah!

I found a cheat code of the Impossible Quiz. Hehe.. But I didn't used it.

Oww?

Yeah. I didn't really used it.

Really, huh?

R-Really!

*raises a brow while giving a suspicious look*

Okay, so fine! I was tempted! But I just peeked to answer 5 questions or so. Hehehe. *grins sheepishly*

The game have sequels--The UIMpossible Quiz 2 and 3. I'm on question number 90 something. And I really, really swear, I'm gonna finish this game (as much as possible, minimizing my 'peeks' in the cheat code) and move on to the next one!

*ish determined*

Here's the link, by the way, if your interested. Good luck! Give it your best shot and try not to get shot!

The Impossible Quiz

I ♥ Plurk

Nyaha! May na'discover na naman acong bago!

It's called Plurk, a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send updates (otherwise known as plurks) through short messages or links, which can be up to 140 text characters in length.

Updates are then shown on the user's home page using a timeline which lists all the updates received in chronological order order, and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them. Users can respond to other users' updates from their timeline through the Plurk.com website, by instant messenging, or by text messaging.

-oha, the power of wikipedia!

Just look at the pink and brown box sa right ng blogsite co. That's my Plurk. Cute noh? Pwede ring i'edit ang color nian.

Nawiwili na nga aco sa kania e. Ang cute kase e. Wala lang, nakakatuwa.

Try nio! Tapos invite nio co as friend ah. chibivy ang name co.

Click here to try Plurk.

Bitter Virgin

Alternative title:ビターバージン (Japanese)
聖母劫 (Chinese (Taiwan))
Genres: drama, romance, slice of life
Plot Summary: Popular high school student Suwa Daisuke has no interest in dating newcomer Aikawa Hinako, a quiet loner. That's because she recoiled from his flirtatious touch, and he took it as a personal affront. Daisuke informs one of his buddies that he wouldn't date her, not knowing Hinako was listening. Daisuke's attitude changes after he accidentally hears her confession in an abandoned church; she's been sexually abused by her stepfather and has given up a child for adoption. His former annoyance turns to compassion and concern. Hinako is unaware that he knows her terrible secret. Believing him to have no romantic interest, she becomes more relaxed and comfortable in his company. Their relationship faces a lot of obstacles, including jealous classmates.

WARNING:This blog post may contain spoilers. If you want to read the manga without reading the spoilers, better not read this blog entry.

friday night. nakatunganga aco sa harap ng computer. hatinggabi na pero di pa rin aco inaantok.

so napagpasyahan cong bisitahin ang onemanga.com at magbasa muna ng Death Note na hanggang ngayon e hindi co pa rin tapos.

e tinamad na acong magbasa. so tiningan co yung listahan ng mga mangan para magbasa ng panibago. Bitter Virgin.na'curious aco sa title. Bitter Virgin? tungkol saan yun? so i clicked the title at sinimulang basahin ang chapter one.

mejo wala acong interest sa simula. anu ba yan, ayoko ng ganitong mga manga na simula palang e mai gusto na agad ang mga main characters sa isa't isa e. am'bilis.

pero naintriga na rin acong basahin, lalo na yung chapter 2 yata iyon na "Her Confessions". grabe, kawindang.

tuloy'tuloy na ang aking pagbabasa. at nawindang aco sa mga nilalaman. grabe talaga!actually, di co masyadong type ang mga stories kung saan di na virgin ang girl. kahet sa mga pocketbooks pa, mejo ayoko ng ganun. pero nakakatuwa kase yung story co sa fictionpress e hawig sa plot nito. tapos yung name pa ng babae dito e Aikawa Hinako, e ang name nung sa'ken e Sachiko Aizawa. naisep co rin na baka makakuha aco ng mga ideas dito.

i cannot stop myself from reading. anung oras na pero di pa rin aco natutulog. sabe co, tatapusing co lang ang ganitong chapter, pero pagkatpos co e naiintriga acong basahin pa yung susunod.

may mga part na nakakaiyak talaga. di co maiwasang tumulo yung luha co, lalo na yung sa part na nireyp si Aikawa ng stepfather nia at nung namatay yung baby ng sister ni Suwa na si Izumi nung nanganak siya.

mai mga nakakainis din na characters tulad ni Kazuki. grabe, napaka'psycotic! at nainis din aco kai Yuzu nung bigla niang sinabi kay Daizuke yung secret ni Hinako.

pero kahet bitin yung ending at ibinigay sa readers ang conclusion ng kwento, i am satisfied. kase mas gusto co rin ang mga ending na di happy ending, o pinag'iisip ang mga readers kung anong mangyayari. nakakatuwa.

seven-thirty in the morning na aco natapos magbasa. grabe, kaya bangag aco e. naabutan pa nga aco nung kuya co nung papasok na siya. imagine, natapos co ang isang 32-chapter manga sa isang magdamag! tapos, 10 o'clock pa aco nagising dahil nagligpit pa aco ng bahay.

but i am contented. i feel inspired. naka'kuha din aco ng ideas for my story. ;]

want to read the manga? click the link below.Bitter Virgin

conference

kanina, nagkaroon kame ng conference sa online forum na kinabibilangan co.

masaya naman ang naging siumla. nagbibiruan pa nga kame. pinlano din kung anung gagawin sa valentine's day at sa aniversary ng IU.

kaya lang bigla na lang acong nabad'trip.

panu kase, ang plano e ia-RP yung mga characters ng Ouran. kung taken na lahat ng characters, pwedeng kahet wala dun ang i-RP mo.

naiinis din aco kase nung tinanong kung sino ang mai alam sa Ouran chuva, sabe co. "me?"

tapos yung friend co sabe, "I know you don't know it."

sabe co, di aco marunong mag-RP dahil hindi naman talaga. okai lang naman sana dahil maganda yung idea. kaya lang nga, mag'iisep pa aco kung sinong pwede cong i-RP.

tapos mai nag'sabi, si Ryuuk na lang daw ang i-RP. sabe co, sino yun, kung ayun ba yung death god sa death note. tapos nagtatawanan na nga kame dahil yun nga yun. okay lang naman kase biruan naman lang e.

tapos na'puntirya na naman yung aking height. actually, di naman na sensitive subject yun dahil tanggap co nang maliit aco at niloloko co din naman ang sarili co dun sa height co.

ewan co ba, bigla na lang pumutok ang butse co.

at dahil english naman ang language na ginagamet namen kapag nag'uusap kame, binanatan co sila ng:

"tsche. i don't care if i am small. i know that i am much taller than i am, than most people see."

siguro medyo nabigla sila dun sa banat co. naglokohan pa din.

ya-chan: ivy, you'll get nosebleed chuva cheness eklavu

Iori: *looks down at Chbivy* [...]

(sayang pala, sana ni'copy co yung conversation)

di co na matandaan yung comment ng iba o kung nag'comment pa sila. basta, sige pa din yung topic tungkol sa i-RP co si Ryuuk. sabe co nga kai ayyah, "You are so mean!", "I'll knock your head off when I see you tomorrow!", at "Don't even dare to show your shadow!" basta yun na yun. pero ang totoo, naiinis na aco.

naiiyak na nga aco e. naiinis kase e. minsan talaga, mai time na magiging sensitive na lang aco pag'dating sa height co.

come to think of it, di co naman feel na pinag'tutulungan aco o "alone" na naman aco. nabwiset lang talaga co kase... kase... di co na maalala kung anung dahilan. basta, ewan co ba. di co naman masabe na walang kadahi-dahilan kung baket aco naines dahil alam cong meron. pero di co ma'pinpoint kung ano.

kaya di na aco nag'reply sa kanila. after few mintues. natapos na din ang conference.

--

sa totoo lang, di naman aco nagalit sa'kanila. naiinis lang talaga aco.

lalo na kai ayyah.

alam co na mai possibility na mabasa nia ang blog entry na ito pero isusulat co pa din ang tungkol dito.

nakakainis kase e, alam mu yun, feeling co parati nia na lang acong... di co maisep ang proper term e. minamaliit? hindi naman. parang... di nia lang masyadong kino-consider yung feelings co pag naglolokohan na dahil masayadong nake-carried away. don't get me wrong, di aco galit sa kania. minsan lang talaga, nakaka'inis na.

ilang beses na nga acong nagsabe na, "di co muna siya papansinin" o "di muna aco masyadong maglalalapit" sa kania. mga bagai na ganun.

pero kapag nagkita na kame, kapag nag'PM na siya sa'ken sa YM, kapag tumawag na siya sa'men, wala na. makikipag'lokohan na ulet aco, tatawa na ulet aco, makikipag'usap ng normal na parang walang nangyari.

di naman masasabi na pina'plastik co siya. di aco plastik na tao. lahat ng pinapakita co ay totoo, bukal yun sa loob co. habang nag'uusap kame, o kahit sino pang kaibigan co, kahit mai tampo aco e mawawala na. tapos, pagka'tapos ng usapan namen na iyon, wala na. okay na aco. wala na acong tampo. manya'yakap na ulet aco na parang walang nangyari.

at kahet ilang beses co pang sabihen sa sarili co na kakausapin co sila tungkol sa bagai na pinagtatampuhan co. katulad na nga lang nung nangyari nung tuesday.

pero di co pa din masabe. hindi dahel sa pinanghihinaan aco ng loob na sabihen, kundi dahil di aco nabibigyan ng pagkakataong magsalita.

kapag mag'uusap kase kame (plural term to ah) e wala na, iba na yung topic. at nakaka'limutan co na ang tampo at inis co. at kahet sabihen co pa na sarili co na maging malungkot aco sa harap nila (scripted e no) e di co pa din magawa. kase kapag kasama at kausap co yung mga kaibigan co e masaya na aco, wala na acong ibang iniisep kundi sila at yung kasiyahan co dahil kasama co sila.

i guess i just cannot resist my real, beloved friends. the persons that i considered the most important ones in my life.