Yesterday, we had our recollection. I wore my lolita shoes and everyone's like wow-ing with it. Haha. >:)
This year's recollection wasn't that awesome; there was no crying and stuffs unlike in the past year. I was wishing that Bro. Edo, our Junior Glee Club adviser who is now in Liceo de Calamba, to be the one to "talk" to us, but it was Bro. Baldemor instead.
We were bored the whole day. As usual, the class was formed into "groups". There are six "groups" in our class, for me. Karen's group, Jorvina's, Eirish's, Cha's, the boys' group, and our group (which is me, Jette, Steni, Koleen, and Jayson).
Because we were bored and really getting sleepy, we did nonsense and stupid things. We barely listen to Bro. Baldemor. Haha. We're baaad. >:P
The only "highlight" to the recollection was the message for the classmates. And it turned out to be like an open forum. Nicakim and Ruiz cried. The kept irritation to one another was said. We lacked cooperation and unity, I noticed. In class activities, they just rely on somebody and won't exert effort. Bahala na. We do things on the last minute. And we won't listen to each other. Mapuputol na lang ang litid mo kakasaway, pero walang mananahimik.
And then, there was the "groupings". I told you our class was composed of groups. It is not really bad to have a group where you belong, but what's ugly with it is we don't mingle with the others. We stay on our group, and that's the root of lack of cooperation. Because we don't open up with the others.
Our "group" was mentioned two times. We don't mingle with the others, they say. I don't know. For me, we talk and laugh with the others as well. Except for Eirish's and Jorvina's group, because... I don't feel like talking to them that much. They have... attitudes, and they're personalities don't fit mine. And you cannot force me to talk and mingle with the people whose personalities don't click with mine.
There was not a single day in the class that no one bitched out with the other. Everyday's always a laughing day, but beneath it all, somebody would always say something bad with each other. I witness it. Even I do some bitching too.
There were some people in the class that I sort of pity. There were some of my classmates that were always... hated and dislike and bullied.
We said sorry to each other afterwards. If I were to be asked, I would like a real open forum so things would be cleared up. I know there would still be bitches and jerks after this. I know it. It's not over. We'll just be back to our old selves again.
After the recollection, we had mass. I was the only choir in there since the first four section had their recollection last week. So I sang in solo. It was okay, except that I sang the offertory song instead the Kordero.
Me: "Bawat huni ng ibon, sa pagdampi--"
Bro. Baldemor: *whispers* Kordero, kordero..
Me: *startled a bit *"Kordero ng Diyos na nag-aalis.."
LOL. I was grinning with myself while singing. But honestly, I didn't feel nervous or embarrassed. Just a little amused with myself. Yan ang nagagawa ng makapal ang mukha! XD
We went to the Main Building afterwards. I immediately looked for the Glee Club. I found them in the Music room and they were only a few of them. And there were only few of them. They just started practicing, and they only practiced one song. I was really irked. The Basil told me they couldn't attend the morning practice because they'll have to practice for Songfest. Bau said the Peter went to a birthday party.
They went on singing some other unnecessary song. I was telling them we have enough time to learn the recessional song but they told me to just sing it next Saturday. Mr. Bautista wasn't around either.
I feel really, really annoyed. I was starting to have a long face. When we were about to go to the church, the others went on and I waited for Ayyah to but snacks. And I was telling her how annoyed I am. And then, stupid tears started to streak on my cheeks.
I was so annoyed. I am so annoyed with the my classmates, with the choir, with my friends, with every people around me. I know it's stupid to be annoyed like that, but I can't help it. It seemed that I always give efforts, doing everything to do my best in everything, and yet people don't appreciate a thing. People rely on me, making me do all the work, but they get the credits afterwards.
I am annoyed with my classmate because they don't cooperate. In activities, they share with my grades that I've worked on. I couldn't just lie down because I want the best, but I couldn't get anything from these people. But in the end, when things turned out wrong, I get all the blame. I would hear hurtful things. I was the wrong one, the stupid one.
I am annoyed with the Glee Club because they seem to join the choir to be excused from class. Para magpasikat sa iba. But I couldn't feel that we're serving. They, or we (I would include myself here), attend the mass so they could be exempted from their household duties. But who are we serving in here? It is all for Him, for HIM. But I bet he doesn't feel the love and the passion in our songs at all.
I am annoyed with myself because I was too plain stupid. For doing all these. For not being able to be like them who just sit and let things the way there are. For giving and giving despite all the pain it cause me.
It was really a recollection day. Because I realize how people treat me, how I treat myself. We're all bitches and jerks, I know, and those bitches and jerks continue to destroy each other.
Showing posts with label dismayed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dismayed. Show all posts
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
This is definitely not my day
I knew from the beginning that there would be something wrong this day. I felt it, I felt it the instant that I woke up.
Saturday. I woke up early because we have a choir practice at 8AM for "Harana ni Maria". That's a presentation of every choir in our parish later at 7PM. I sent GM to my contacts and reminded the Glee Club about our practice, and I got to text with Eday and Arsie while washing the dishes.
I was kinda late for the practice because of texting. It was already 8:15 when I reached school. They were still few, though. The CAT officers were at the school quadrangle for the training and I immediately gave the garrison belt buckle to Lea that I borrowed to her when I had our CAT class.
When I saw Jette, he instantly pointed to Steni. Having a low pick-up, I wondered why he was doing that. Then I remembered about Jayson's Visual Basic CD (he asked for a burned copy from our Computer teacher) that Steni borrowed. Sabi co kasi, ipahiram niya na agad kay Jette yung CD para ngayong sabado, ako na yung makakakuha kasi hindi naman na kami magkikita ng sembreak. Kinukulit co nga sila dun e.
Steni smiled--a sheepish smile--and then ran away. I chase after her (LOL. My small limbs versus her long ones). Naabutan co siya at nacorner, at sinabi niya nakalimutan niyang wala sa kanya ang CD dalhin.
"Tanong mo pa kay Jette!"
"Kasabwat mo siya e!" I accused her jokingly. Trip na kasi namin ang "um-acting", at baka nanti-trip na naman siya.
"Hindi. Pramis! Di aco na-acting ngayon."
Matapos siyang kulit-kulitin, tinantanan co na rin si Steni, pero pabiro pa rin akong nagpaparinig.
At habang naghihintay sa ibang choir, nagkukwentuhan kami. Hanggang ang kwentuhan ay nauwi sa asaran at okrayan. I wasn't really feeling good for teasing, so just shut my mouth and occasionally grin whenever I need to.
The others came. Lea told me that they would just eat merienda. She even invited me with them but I refuse because they were all CAT officers and I might not catch up with them. After some time, when my choirmates finished buying and eating their food, I told them that we'll practice. Vocalization, kaysa naman nakatunganga lang kami dahil wala pa si Sir.
So I initiate the vocalization. I wasn't really feeling good. Well, not physically, but it's just I seemed to be not in the mood. I pointed the Tenor (which was Arbu and Eday) for a part of vocalization, and the note seemed to be too high for them. Their voice faltered, then they laugh. I wasn't in the mood to laugh with them. I made them repeat it, and then they laughed again. Most especially Eday. And I knew I was loosing it. I'm close to my boiling point.
They seemed to notice it too, for everyone kept quiet. Well, almost everyone. Adrian was still erupting into silent giggles.
"Ano ba yan?" I said in a stern voice, in the most calm voice I could manage that time. "Ulit." I told them. When it was tenor's part again, nagtawanan na naman sila.
I shut my mouth up. I stared blankly at nothing. I could feel it, I could feel the annoyance building up inside me. The anger. The anger for them and for myself. Through my silence, they tried getting the note again, but I know they're not serious. Adrian's still giggling. I heard Remo said, "Tama na, Eday."
"Magaling na ba kayo?" I said, my jaws clencing. "Magaling na ba kayo?!" The girls muttered a low "hindi".
"Akala niyo kasi ang gagaling niyo na eh! Tawanan ng tawanan, di bale sana kung magaganda ang boses. Yan ang mahirao sa inyo e, wala kayong respeto." I said something more, and I couldn't help the tears. Shit. That really made me annoyed to myself. I hate crying in this kind of occasion. I hate crying when I am the "authority" because I seem to be... weak. Because it seems that I could handle these kind of things. I really hate it. Pero wala, mababaw talaga ang luha ko. I cannot hold it back.
"Bastos!" I yelled angrily before more tears could come, and turned back at them to walk away. The first place I went is PEAC. This has always been my refuge, my sanctuary.
I maybe made a fuzz over nothing. That was maybe a really little thing. But for me, it's not. It's a big deal. Because Eday was involved. My friends were involved. The people I love and cherish and regarded as important. I just cannot accept that the people I love were the ones who hurt me, the people I cherish were disrespect me.
Everything's just too unfair! Sa SSG, sa Gatekeeper, I know everyone look down at me. Everyone regarded me as the "weakest link". "Walang silbi", someone jokingly told me one time. For them, I'm just a shitass loser.
But haven't I proven myself yet? Haven't I done all the things that I could do? Were my efforts not enough? Dammit. If they don't want me, I don't want them either!
Bebe texted me, saying sorry several times. I went back home. Siguro pa-epal lang talaga aco, but I was waiting for them to apologize. Especially Eday. They could easily reach me; they could text me or go to my house. Pero wala. Which means patigasan kami. Bahala sila.
Pero hindi ako nakatiis. I texted Lea to ask what they are doing. Nandun na daw si Sir Bautista and their practicing. Darn.
Pinadaan co si Ayyah sa bahay so we could come to school together. I was wearing a serious face when I got there. May bago ngang kanta, and I didn't know it. I didn't care to ask. Hindi co sila pinapansin, tutal hindi rin naman nila ako pinapansin. Alde was the first one to talk to me, pero hindi rin ako masyadong nagsasalita. Mr. Bautista asked me why I wasn't around in the morning, and I told him that I had been in school, but I went home.
Darn. I wanted to swear.
Medyo um-okay na ako maya-maya. Pero di pa rin ako masyadong namamansin. We were late for the mass because we practiced pa. Wala tuloy opening mass. Hindi dun sa usual na pwesto umupo sila Eday at Remo, which is just beside me. They sat on the other corner. Hn.
We went back to school after mass. My head was aching. We were given sandwiches, merienda daw namin. Galing yata kay Ms. Rasdas. We went back to church at 7pm.
I noticed that Remo wasn't talking to me too. Si Eday, we're ignoring each other pa rin. I was just worried because since Eday was involved, Ginnique would be involved too. And my other affiliations as well, which are mostly the same as Eday's. So great, everything's ruined.
Pero pinansin ako ni Remo nung may pinapasabi sa'kin. Which is a good sign.
Kinabahan kami nung kumanta yung unang choir. Sheda, ang galing. Nung turn na namin, may mga sablay. It wasn't that good. But it wasn't that shameful either. I jokingly told them that if we failed at this, I won't attend in any meeting in the Music Ministry na. Pero makaka-aattend pa naman ako. :)
I was surprised when the next choir started to sing and my choirmates suddenly stood up. I thought na pinapauwi na kami ni Sir. Kakain lang daw pala dun sa may Parish Hall. Nainis ako. Bakit nung kami naman ang kumakanta, wala naman biglang umalis ah. At isang batalyon pa kaming nagtayuan. I stayed, with Ayyah and Mae. We finished the song.
Naiinis ako. Ayan ang problema sa choir e. Mga walang respeto! Imagine, kami kaya ang ganunin, for sure maiinis kaming lahat. At umalis sila dahil sa pagkain! Samantalang walang ibang choir na gumawa nun. Di bale sana kung napakakagaling namin e. Napaghahalataang mga PG!
When the song ended, I approached my choirmates. I was really annoyed. At sinermunan co sila. They tried to reason out, and they said Sir Bau was the one who told them to go. Para namang walang mga utak, nasan kaya mga manners nila! Naturingang galing kami sa Catholic school. But when Sir Bau was the one who talked to me, napilitan akong mag-okay. Gaah.
Hindi na ako nag-merienda. Lamunin nila yon. Ayyah and I went back to church and I out of the sudden, I ranted. Nagsabi talaga ako ng mga sama ng loob ko. And I cried. After that, I felt better. Bahala na sila sa buhay nila. Bakit ko ipagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa mga taong ayaw naman sa'kin? I was blinded by my love for those people because they're important to me, but they're hurting me over and over again. If they don't want me, fine! May mga tao naman na handang tanggapin kung sino at ano ako. My world doesn't revolve around them anymore. They're still important to me, I admit, pero dapat siguro na magising na ako. Parati na lang ako ang kawawa sa kanila, maybe it's time to let go of the things that are hurting you already.
When I went back home, mugto pa rin mata co. And I realize that bangs are really helpful. XD
Saturday. I woke up early because we have a choir practice at 8AM for "Harana ni Maria". That's a presentation of every choir in our parish later at 7PM. I sent GM to my contacts and reminded the Glee Club about our practice, and I got to text with Eday and Arsie while washing the dishes.
I was kinda late for the practice because of texting. It was already 8:15 when I reached school. They were still few, though. The CAT officers were at the school quadrangle for the training and I immediately gave the garrison belt buckle to Lea that I borrowed to her when I had our CAT class.
When I saw Jette, he instantly pointed to Steni. Having a low pick-up, I wondered why he was doing that. Then I remembered about Jayson's Visual Basic CD (he asked for a burned copy from our Computer teacher) that Steni borrowed. Sabi co kasi, ipahiram niya na agad kay Jette yung CD para ngayong sabado, ako na yung makakakuha kasi hindi naman na kami magkikita ng sembreak. Kinukulit co nga sila dun e.
Steni smiled--a sheepish smile--and then ran away. I chase after her (LOL. My small limbs versus her long ones). Naabutan co siya at nacorner, at sinabi niya nakalimutan niyang wala sa kanya ang CD dalhin.
"Tanong mo pa kay Jette!"
"Kasabwat mo siya e!" I accused her jokingly. Trip na kasi namin ang "um-acting", at baka nanti-trip na naman siya.
"Hindi. Pramis! Di aco na-acting ngayon."
Matapos siyang kulit-kulitin, tinantanan co na rin si Steni, pero pabiro pa rin akong nagpaparinig.
At habang naghihintay sa ibang choir, nagkukwentuhan kami. Hanggang ang kwentuhan ay nauwi sa asaran at okrayan. I wasn't really feeling good for teasing, so just shut my mouth and occasionally grin whenever I need to.
The others came. Lea told me that they would just eat merienda. She even invited me with them but I refuse because they were all CAT officers and I might not catch up with them. After some time, when my choirmates finished buying and eating their food, I told them that we'll practice. Vocalization, kaysa naman nakatunganga lang kami dahil wala pa si Sir.
So I initiate the vocalization. I wasn't really feeling good. Well, not physically, but it's just I seemed to be not in the mood. I pointed the Tenor (which was Arbu and Eday) for a part of vocalization, and the note seemed to be too high for them. Their voice faltered, then they laugh. I wasn't in the mood to laugh with them. I made them repeat it, and then they laughed again. Most especially Eday. And I knew I was loosing it. I'm close to my boiling point.
They seemed to notice it too, for everyone kept quiet. Well, almost everyone. Adrian was still erupting into silent giggles.
"Ano ba yan?" I said in a stern voice, in the most calm voice I could manage that time. "Ulit." I told them. When it was tenor's part again, nagtawanan na naman sila.
I shut my mouth up. I stared blankly at nothing. I could feel it, I could feel the annoyance building up inside me. The anger. The anger for them and for myself. Through my silence, they tried getting the note again, but I know they're not serious. Adrian's still giggling. I heard Remo said, "Tama na, Eday."
"Magaling na ba kayo?" I said, my jaws clencing. "Magaling na ba kayo?!" The girls muttered a low "hindi".
"Akala niyo kasi ang gagaling niyo na eh! Tawanan ng tawanan, di bale sana kung magaganda ang boses. Yan ang mahirao sa inyo e, wala kayong respeto." I said something more, and I couldn't help the tears. Shit. That really made me annoyed to myself. I hate crying in this kind of occasion. I hate crying when I am the "authority" because I seem to be... weak. Because it seems that I could handle these kind of things. I really hate it. Pero wala, mababaw talaga ang luha ko. I cannot hold it back.
"Bastos!" I yelled angrily before more tears could come, and turned back at them to walk away. The first place I went is PEAC. This has always been my refuge, my sanctuary.
I maybe made a fuzz over nothing. That was maybe a really little thing. But for me, it's not. It's a big deal. Because Eday was involved. My friends were involved. The people I love and cherish and regarded as important. I just cannot accept that the people I love were the ones who hurt me, the people I cherish were disrespect me.
Everything's just too unfair! Sa SSG, sa Gatekeeper, I know everyone look down at me. Everyone regarded me as the "weakest link". "Walang silbi", someone jokingly told me one time. For them, I'm just a shitass loser.
But haven't I proven myself yet? Haven't I done all the things that I could do? Were my efforts not enough? Dammit. If they don't want me, I don't want them either!
Bebe texted me, saying sorry several times. I went back home. Siguro pa-epal lang talaga aco, but I was waiting for them to apologize. Especially Eday. They could easily reach me; they could text me or go to my house. Pero wala. Which means patigasan kami. Bahala sila.
Pero hindi ako nakatiis. I texted Lea to ask what they are doing. Nandun na daw si Sir Bautista and their practicing. Darn.
Pinadaan co si Ayyah sa bahay so we could come to school together. I was wearing a serious face when I got there. May bago ngang kanta, and I didn't know it. I didn't care to ask. Hindi co sila pinapansin, tutal hindi rin naman nila ako pinapansin. Alde was the first one to talk to me, pero hindi rin ako masyadong nagsasalita. Mr. Bautista asked me why I wasn't around in the morning, and I told him that I had been in school, but I went home.
Darn. I wanted to swear.
Medyo um-okay na ako maya-maya. Pero di pa rin ako masyadong namamansin. We were late for the mass because we practiced pa. Wala tuloy opening mass. Hindi dun sa usual na pwesto umupo sila Eday at Remo, which is just beside me. They sat on the other corner. Hn.
We went back to school after mass. My head was aching. We were given sandwiches, merienda daw namin. Galing yata kay Ms. Rasdas. We went back to church at 7pm.
I noticed that Remo wasn't talking to me too. Si Eday, we're ignoring each other pa rin. I was just worried because since Eday was involved, Ginnique would be involved too. And my other affiliations as well, which are mostly the same as Eday's. So great, everything's ruined.
Pero pinansin ako ni Remo nung may pinapasabi sa'kin. Which is a good sign.
Kinabahan kami nung kumanta yung unang choir. Sheda, ang galing. Nung turn na namin, may mga sablay. It wasn't that good. But it wasn't that shameful either. I jokingly told them that if we failed at this, I won't attend in any meeting in the Music Ministry na. Pero makaka-aattend pa naman ako. :)
I was surprised when the next choir started to sing and my choirmates suddenly stood up. I thought na pinapauwi na kami ni Sir. Kakain lang daw pala dun sa may Parish Hall. Nainis ako. Bakit nung kami naman ang kumakanta, wala naman biglang umalis ah. At isang batalyon pa kaming nagtayuan. I stayed, with Ayyah and Mae. We finished the song.
Naiinis ako. Ayan ang problema sa choir e. Mga walang respeto! Imagine, kami kaya ang ganunin, for sure maiinis kaming lahat. At umalis sila dahil sa pagkain! Samantalang walang ibang choir na gumawa nun. Di bale sana kung napakakagaling namin e. Napaghahalataang mga PG!
When the song ended, I approached my choirmates. I was really annoyed. At sinermunan co sila. They tried to reason out, and they said Sir Bau was the one who told them to go. Para namang walang mga utak, nasan kaya mga manners nila! Naturingang galing kami sa Catholic school. But when Sir Bau was the one who talked to me, napilitan akong mag-okay. Gaah.
Hindi na ako nag-merienda. Lamunin nila yon. Ayyah and I went back to church and I out of the sudden, I ranted. Nagsabi talaga ako ng mga sama ng loob ko. And I cried. After that, I felt better. Bahala na sila sa buhay nila. Bakit ko ipagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa mga taong ayaw naman sa'kin? I was blinded by my love for those people because they're important to me, but they're hurting me over and over again. If they don't want me, fine! May mga tao naman na handang tanggapin kung sino at ano ako. My world doesn't revolve around them anymore. They're still important to me, I admit, pero dapat siguro na magising na ako. Parati na lang ako ang kawawa sa kanila, maybe it's time to let go of the things that are hurting you already.
When I went back home, mugto pa rin mata co. And I realize that bangs are really helpful. XD
Friday, October 2, 2009
Grades and Headaches
Cards' Giving Day
Thursday (October 1) was our not-so-expected cards' giving day. It was supposedly on Monday, but since classes was suspended, it was moved.
It wasn't that exciting or dreadful. I mean, we didn't really expect that our cards would be given that day, so we have no time to be excited or to dread.
The Top 10 honors of the star sections were announced before our cards were given. Adrian wasn't around because of TOBS and because Dizon always saying he is Adrian's "twin", Mrs. Suinan jokingly called him to be Eday's proxy. We were all laughing over that loudly that I got a special mention from Sir Cejero over the microphone. Ugh. Palibhasa ako yung kitang-kita kaya ako lang ang nasita e. @_@
After the announcement of the star sections' top 10, we back to our room. After some minutes of waiting, Mr. Dela Torre distributed our card. Really, I wasn't that nervous, just a little anxious about my grades, especially in Math and Physics.
Almost everyone got a low grade in English. Well, it was expected, because Mrs. Lopena was really mad with us at the first quarter (though I must say she’s changing, huh? Ü). Jette and Jayson’s grades were okay, as well as Steni’s. So when my turn came to get my card, I didn’t look at it right away and waited until I reached my seat. When I finally looked at it, I flashed a grin because I got somewhat good grades. My lowest was EP (84), and I was contented with the rest.
Until Jayson borrowed my card to look at the grades. And he said that my Physics was 81. 81!? WTF!? I though he was joking or what so I immediately grabbed my report card from him. And the grade I saw in my Physics really weakened me.
Science: 81
Really, I didn’t know what I happened on my grade in Physics. My monthly exam was okay; I think I was the highest or one of the highest on that. And although I didn’t get high score in my quarterly exam, it wasn’t that low either. I always recite too, and my quizzes were, well, okay. The only setback was my notebook, which I passed late, and my seatworks (I think), which I barely seriously do.
Wala, break the record ako. Last year, I got my lowest ever since I started schooling, and that was in my Geometry under Ms. Macasaddu. 82. Now, I got an even lower grade than that. Physics: 81.
Pero hindi naman ako ganun “nagdamdam” dun. I mean, Mrs. Suinan is really an awesome teacher. Really, she’s one of my favorites. And I know that the grade she had given to me was the grade she thinks that I deserve. Kung siguro e hindi siya magaling magturo o mainit ang ulo niya sa’kin, magrereklamo pa ako. Pero wala naman akong maiaangal sa kanya. I learned many things from her, and she treats me nicely. Sabi ko nga, okay lang yun. Kasi, aanhin ko naman ang mataas na grade na alam ko naman wala akong natutunan di ba?
So, this was my grade for the First Quarter:
Religion IV: 91
Filipino IV: 89
English IV: 87
Mathematics: 87
Science IV: 81
MAKABAYAN: 88
AP IV: 87
TLE IV: 89
MAPEH: 90
EP IV: 84
CAT: Passed
Computer IV: 88
It wasn’t that high. I got only two line of 9. T_T I was surprised to get an 87 in Math; I was expecting 84 or 85. I think I was the highest in English since Jayson and the others got 83 or something in it. Most of my grades were line of eight, but I was pretty much contented with it. Para sa’kin, okay lang na hindi kataasan ang grade ko ng First Quarter, kaysa naman bumulusok the next quarters. At least, tataas o maintain na lang ang grades ko.
On our EP time, the top 10 were announced. Jayson was the fourth, I was the third, Steni was the second, and Jette was the first. Todo kantyaw nga kami kay Jette e. He got an average of 89 something. Ako 88 point something; points lang din ang nilaman ni Steni.
Actually, saying talaga yun si Jette. Magaling naman, napakamahiyain lang at hindi nagrerecite. Sayang lang tuloy ang grade. Kahit alam niya, hindi siya sumasagot o masyadong nagpapartcipate sa klase. Kaya nga parati kong nakakatyawan e.
Okay lang naman ang ranking ko sa klase. I was really after good grades, not good rank. Kahit naman mababa ang ranking ko, basta maayos ang grade ko, ayos lang. Naku, yung Science lang talaga humatak sa grades ko e! Super pull! Pero okay lang, si Mrs. Suinan naman yun e. Bawi na lang siguro ako. c:
First Friday Mass and English Month’s Culminating Activity
As usual, we served at the choir for the mass. I didn’t eat breakfast, and my head was throbbing a little when I got to school. Actually, rosary pa lang medyo nahihilo na ako.
Ang echos nga kasi nag-solo pa ako sa isang kanta sa first mass kaya nakantyawan pa ako ng mga kaklase ko nung bumalik ako sa room para magbihis. Culminating activity din kasi sa English e. When the second mass started, my head really hurts. My surrounding was spinning and I was feeling dizzy kaya napaupo ako. Hindi na ulit ako nakatayo kasi sobrang nahihilo na ako. Na-touch naman ako because my choirmates showed concern to me. Umalalay na lang ako sa kanila. Inalalayan pa ako ni Ablay at Remo papuntang school.
Nagsimula na kaming mag-ayos for the culminating activity. I was even somewhat irked inside kasi parang ako lang talaga yung officer na gumagalaw during the whole month. Nakakaasar kaya. Parati na lang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan. I’m not implying something here, nabu-bwisit lang talaga ako.
Pagkatapos ng culminating activity at around 3 o’clock, in-announced na tuloy ang Field Trip Monday. Ugh. Nag-uwian ng maaga, pero sabi k okay Ayyah punta kami sa kanila. Sumama din si Lea. We watched the movie ‘Up’. Umuwi rin ng maaga si Lea, at sumunod na rin ako after a few minutes kaya hindi na rin naming natapos yung pinapanood. I just borrowed the DVD.
Ang daya pa nga ng driver ng jeep na nasakyan ko pag-uwi, hanggang sa boundary lang ako binaba. Kadugaan e. At dahil sinumpong ako ng kakuriputan, nilakad ko na lang paauwi sa’min. Haha.
Thursday (October 1) was our not-so-expected cards' giving day. It was supposedly on Monday, but since classes was suspended, it was moved.
It wasn't that exciting or dreadful. I mean, we didn't really expect that our cards would be given that day, so we have no time to be excited or to dread.
The Top 10 honors of the star sections were announced before our cards were given. Adrian wasn't around because of TOBS and because Dizon always saying he is Adrian's "twin", Mrs. Suinan jokingly called him to be Eday's proxy. We were all laughing over that loudly that I got a special mention from Sir Cejero over the microphone. Ugh. Palibhasa ako yung kitang-kita kaya ako lang ang nasita e. @_@
After the announcement of the star sections' top 10, we back to our room. After some minutes of waiting, Mr. Dela Torre distributed our card. Really, I wasn't that nervous, just a little anxious about my grades, especially in Math and Physics.
Almost everyone got a low grade in English. Well, it was expected, because Mrs. Lopena was really mad with us at the first quarter (though I must say she’s changing, huh? Ü). Jette and Jayson’s grades were okay, as well as Steni’s. So when my turn came to get my card, I didn’t look at it right away and waited until I reached my seat. When I finally looked at it, I flashed a grin because I got somewhat good grades. My lowest was EP (84), and I was contented with the rest.
Until Jayson borrowed my card to look at the grades. And he said that my Physics was 81. 81!? WTF!? I though he was joking or what so I immediately grabbed my report card from him. And the grade I saw in my Physics really weakened me.
Science: 81
Really, I didn’t know what I happened on my grade in Physics. My monthly exam was okay; I think I was the highest or one of the highest on that. And although I didn’t get high score in my quarterly exam, it wasn’t that low either. I always recite too, and my quizzes were, well, okay. The only setback was my notebook, which I passed late, and my seatworks (I think), which I barely seriously do.
Wala, break the record ako. Last year, I got my lowest ever since I started schooling, and that was in my Geometry under Ms. Macasaddu. 82. Now, I got an even lower grade than that. Physics: 81.
Pero hindi naman ako ganun “nagdamdam” dun. I mean, Mrs. Suinan is really an awesome teacher. Really, she’s one of my favorites. And I know that the grade she had given to me was the grade she thinks that I deserve. Kung siguro e hindi siya magaling magturo o mainit ang ulo niya sa’kin, magrereklamo pa ako. Pero wala naman akong maiaangal sa kanya. I learned many things from her, and she treats me nicely. Sabi ko nga, okay lang yun. Kasi, aanhin ko naman ang mataas na grade na alam ko naman wala akong natutunan di ba?
So, this was my grade for the First Quarter:
Religion IV: 91
Filipino IV: 89
English IV: 87
Mathematics: 87
Science IV: 81
MAKABAYAN: 88
AP IV: 87
TLE IV: 89
MAPEH: 90
EP IV: 84
CAT: Passed
Computer IV: 88
It wasn’t that high. I got only two line of 9. T_T I was surprised to get an 87 in Math; I was expecting 84 or 85. I think I was the highest in English since Jayson and the others got 83 or something in it. Most of my grades were line of eight, but I was pretty much contented with it. Para sa’kin, okay lang na hindi kataasan ang grade ko ng First Quarter, kaysa naman bumulusok the next quarters. At least, tataas o maintain na lang ang grades ko.
On our EP time, the top 10 were announced. Jayson was the fourth, I was the third, Steni was the second, and Jette was the first. Todo kantyaw nga kami kay Jette e. He got an average of 89 something. Ako 88 point something; points lang din ang nilaman ni Steni.
Actually, saying talaga yun si Jette. Magaling naman, napakamahiyain lang at hindi nagrerecite. Sayang lang tuloy ang grade. Kahit alam niya, hindi siya sumasagot o masyadong nagpapartcipate sa klase. Kaya nga parati kong nakakatyawan e.
Okay lang naman ang ranking ko sa klase. I was really after good grades, not good rank. Kahit naman mababa ang ranking ko, basta maayos ang grade ko, ayos lang. Naku, yung Science lang talaga humatak sa grades ko e! Super pull! Pero okay lang, si Mrs. Suinan naman yun e. Bawi na lang siguro ako. c:
First Friday Mass and English Month’s Culminating Activity
As usual, we served at the choir for the mass. I didn’t eat breakfast, and my head was throbbing a little when I got to school. Actually, rosary pa lang medyo nahihilo na ako.
Ang echos nga kasi nag-solo pa ako sa isang kanta sa first mass kaya nakantyawan pa ako ng mga kaklase ko nung bumalik ako sa room para magbihis. Culminating activity din kasi sa English e. When the second mass started, my head really hurts. My surrounding was spinning and I was feeling dizzy kaya napaupo ako. Hindi na ulit ako nakatayo kasi sobrang nahihilo na ako. Na-touch naman ako because my choirmates showed concern to me. Umalalay na lang ako sa kanila. Inalalayan pa ako ni Ablay at Remo papuntang school.
Nagsimula na kaming mag-ayos for the culminating activity. I was even somewhat irked inside kasi parang ako lang talaga yung officer na gumagalaw during the whole month. Nakakaasar kaya. Parati na lang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan. I’m not implying something here, nabu-bwisit lang talaga ako.
Pagkatapos ng culminating activity at around 3 o’clock, in-announced na tuloy ang Field Trip Monday. Ugh. Nag-uwian ng maaga, pero sabi k okay Ayyah punta kami sa kanila. Sumama din si Lea. We watched the movie ‘Up’. Umuwi rin ng maaga si Lea, at sumunod na rin ako after a few minutes kaya hindi na rin naming natapos yung pinapanood. I just borrowed the DVD.
Ang daya pa nga ng driver ng jeep na nasakyan ko pag-uwi, hanggang sa boundary lang ako binaba. Kadugaan e. At dahil sinumpong ako ng kakuriputan, nilakad ko na lang paauwi sa’min. Haha.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Failed
Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.
I really felt so stupid. Utterly stupid.
I failed in our Second Monthly Examination. Got 29 out of 60. Equivalent to 74%.
And I am such a moron.
The test was actually easy. Really, the first part of the exam was a chicken. Multiplication of polynomials. Shet.
And the reason why I failed is because I wasn't able to answer Test I-B. Not because it was hard or I didn't know how to answer it. It was because I forgot to answer it.
I got sort of confused with the last part, and I got low score on that too. But it was forgivable for me because I didn't know what I will gonna do with that. I just couldn't take that I failed because I forgot to answer that stupid part. Shit.
Ayoko pa naman ng ganun. I don't like leaving blanks on my test paper, kahit 'di ko alam ang sagot. Feeling ko kasi, natalo ako ng walang kalaban-laban. I don't like losing without fighting. Without giving effort.
But there, I failed. And what's annoying is that part really easy for me. I wouldn't have failed if I answer that. Sheda. Dahil nakalimutan lang. Engot.
Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.
Nakakainis talaga. At nakakahiya. Nung nagrerecord na si Mr. del Rio, sabi niya, "Ang baba Nobleza ah. Nako, bababa grades mo nito." He said my score was even lower than Nortez.
I was a little bit whining over that. Really, I was surprised to know that I forgot to answer that test. Because I thought I actually answered it. Jette and Steni sort of comforted me. Monthly lang naman daw 'yun. And at least, I am good at English, they said. Jette enumerated the positive points about me, like I could speak in good English, and I sing well. Things that he cannot do, not every people can do. Sabi niya, there might be a reason for that. Like there would be a blessing to come in exchange for that.
And it made me somewhat better. I mean, I got to realize that I am still lucky. I told myself I'll really make up that failed monthly exam in my recitation. I'll really make up on it. The feeling of having a failing score--especially in a major subject--is not good. Totally awful.
Medyo nakarecover din naman ako. I am the not the kind of person who sulks over things for a long time. Hindi ako ganun grabe manghinayang. I don't know if that's good or bad.
Really, I would try to make up for it.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Okay Na Sana E..
My day started nicely, but ended badly.
Saturday is actually my favorite day and I am always on this day of the week because I really like singing in the choir, plus I will be able to be with my close friends, who happened to be choir members too.
So I really looked forward for this day, as usual. There were already a number of my choir mates when I got in school. They noticed the big, long earrings that I was wearing. Ka-landian co talaga o!
Hindi na rin kami nag-practice, tutal e kokonti lang naman kami e. Instead, we talked about various stuff, ranted on that damnedbloody First Quarterly exams. Grabe, pati Basil din pala nahirapan. Gaah! Si Ablay nga, nade-"depress" dun sa exam.
Tinanong co pala kung ano yung nangyari sa TOBS (Top Outstanding Boy Scout) na sinalihan ni Eday. I had mentally noted myself to ask him about that because I dreamt this week that I asked him about it, at sabi niya dun sa panaginip co, nakapasok siya sa Nationals at pang-4th siya.
Pasok nga daw siya sa National. Haha! Super pray aco para sa kanya dun. Ang guess what? Pang-fourth nga siya! WAW! Nagkatotoo yung dream co? Sabi niya nga daw, managinip ulit aco na nanalo siya sa Nationals. XD
I haven't still gotten over my love for piggy-back rides. Nagkukulitan kami ni Eday when he crouched and I groped him at the neck. I ended riding at his back. I was squealing like a little child as he run around, jumping up and down. Tumalon pa nga siya sa stage e, at tili-tawa aco. XD
I am so so child-like, I know. Fourth year na aco, pero gustong-gusto co pa ring napasan. Yeah. Yeah. I am so childish. =D
Nakatambay sila Jette, Alexa, at Luis sa may tabi ng flagpole. Luis called me at pinagtripan din ang aking hikaw. Haha. Tumambay din muna aco sa kanila. We were laughing so hard about the mural at the wall on the tunnel. Kamuka daw kasi ni Dolphy. Hahaha!
We went to the church before 5pm. Kuya Darwin, a LDSP alumnus and former Glee Club member, was the one who played piano for us. Maingay na naman nga e, kaya saway aco ng saway. Kuya Darwin even commented nung sinasaway co sila, "Parang aco lang dati ah."
Yeah, I remember that time when I was still on First and Second year when Kuya Darwin keeps on hushing us whenever we make noise. How fast the time flies! Ngayon, aco na ang sumasaway.
Okay pa aco nung una. I was still tolerating it at first kahit sitsit na aco nang sitsit. Pero nung bago mag-communion, na-bad trip na talaga aco. I shut my mouth and let them. Hindi na rin aco masyadong kumanta.
Di na nga aco sumabay sa Recessional kaya nagkagulo-gulo na. Tapos nung mukang nalito sila dun sa last part at nagkamali, nagtawanan pa. Nakakabad-trip e. So after taking off the cord from the mic, I told them, almost harshly, to sit down. Umalis na nga si Kuya Darwin nang hindi man lang aco nakapagpasalamat.
Nagsimula na ang panenermon co. Nakakainis kasi. Sinasaway nang paulit-ulit, ayaw pang magsitahimik. Nakakabastos na e, walang mga respeto. Palibhasa, nakikipag-biruan aco sa kanila. I am not laying my authority that much because I don't want to be an "authority figure". Umaabuso na e. Hindi naman porke mga kaibigan co sila, pababayaan co na lang.
I was somewhat close to tears. Ganito talaga aco kapag galit, naiiyak. But I didn't cry. There was just a lump of my throat, but I didn't cry. I'm laying my "authority", and authorities don't cry.
O, nung napagalitan saka nagsipag-tahimik. Kala mo mga maamong tupa e. Kailangan pa papagalitan muna.
Wala na. Bad trip na talaga aco. Nakakainis kasi e. Matapos ipaalala ang tungkol sa pesteng collared shirt na ilang linggo co nang ipinaalala sa kanila pero 13 pa lang ang nagpapasa, binirahan co sila ng walk-out. I just heard someone leading the prayer as I walk down the stairs. Si Gerard yata yun.
I walked with a straight face. I felt my jaws clenching, my brows furrowing. I headed to PEAC, and forgot to ask for the sign in my prayer book. Next week co na lang papapirmahan. Bad trip aco, and all I wanted at that time was to talk to Him.
Ayoko pa naman sa lahat, yung naba-bad trip. Ayoko kaya ng seryoso aco. Hindi aco sanay at alam cong hindi sanay ang mga tao. Ayoko ng galit aco. But I had to lay my authority. I had to be angry. I was angry, and the annoyance I felt wasn't something I could and should keep.
Naiinis talaga aco. Naiinis aco sa mga ka-choir co at sa sarili co. Yes, I am annoyed mostly to myself.
Bakit nung time naman ni Ate Jen, ni Ate Beth, ni Ate Pam, hindi naman ganito? I mean, sumusunod agad sa kanila ang choir. Ganun ba talaga? Hindi ba talaga aco karespe-respeto? Don't I deserve respect?
Maybe it was because they "grew up" with me. Dahil matagal na nila acong kilala that's why they don't fear me anymore. Maybe it was all because of childishness. Maybe it was because they even look more matured than me. Maybe because I am small, that's why they think so little of me.
Nakakainis. I was looking forward for this day. I was looking forward for a peaceful, heart-touching mass, looking forward for great singing, looking forward for time with my friends. Pero nasira lang lahat.
**
I was still annoyed when I got home, but it gradually faded.
Arbu PMed me in YM, and apologized. I accepted his apology, and just told him na hindi aco pupunta sa kanila para kunin yung shirts na ilang beses co nang pinapalala sa kanila; sila ang maghanap sa'kin.
Napatunayan co na I couldn't still hold anger for too long. Aco talaga yung taong magagalit, pero mawawala na rin mayamaya. Aco yung taong madaling amuhin.
I don't know how will I act when I saw them again, or how will I treat them next Saturday. Basta, hindi na aco papayag na maulit na naman na ganito. I still don't like to lay authority, but if I must, I will.
Saturday is actually my favorite day and I am always on this day of the week because I really like singing in the choir, plus I will be able to be with my close friends, who happened to be choir members too.
So I really looked forward for this day, as usual. There were already a number of my choir mates when I got in school. They noticed the big, long earrings that I was wearing. Ka-landian co talaga o!
Hindi na rin kami nag-practice, tutal e kokonti lang naman kami e. Instead, we talked about various stuff, ranted on that damned
Tinanong co pala kung ano yung nangyari sa TOBS (Top Outstanding Boy Scout) na sinalihan ni Eday. I had mentally noted myself to ask him about that because I dreamt this week that I asked him about it, at sabi niya dun sa panaginip co, nakapasok siya sa Nationals at pang-4th siya.
Pasok nga daw siya sa National. Haha! Super pray aco para sa kanya dun. Ang guess what? Pang-fourth nga siya! WAW! Nagkatotoo yung dream co? Sabi niya nga daw, managinip ulit aco na nanalo siya sa Nationals. XD
I haven't still gotten over my love for piggy-back rides. Nagkukulitan kami ni Eday when he crouched and I groped him at the neck. I ended riding at his back. I was squealing like a little child as he run around, jumping up and down. Tumalon pa nga siya sa stage e, at tili-tawa aco. XD
I am so so child-like, I know. Fourth year na aco, pero gustong-gusto co pa ring napasan. Yeah. Yeah. I am so childish. =D
Nakatambay sila Jette, Alexa, at Luis sa may tabi ng flagpole. Luis called me at pinagtripan din ang aking hikaw. Haha. Tumambay din muna aco sa kanila. We were laughing so hard about the mural at the wall on the tunnel. Kamuka daw kasi ni Dolphy. Hahaha!
We went to the church before 5pm. Kuya Darwin, a LDSP alumnus and former Glee Club member, was the one who played piano for us. Maingay na naman nga e, kaya saway aco ng saway. Kuya Darwin even commented nung sinasaway co sila, "Parang aco lang dati ah."
Yeah, I remember that time when I was still on First and Second year when Kuya Darwin keeps on hushing us whenever we make noise. How fast the time flies! Ngayon, aco na ang sumasaway.
Okay pa aco nung una. I was still tolerating it at first kahit sitsit na aco nang sitsit. Pero nung bago mag-communion, na-bad trip na talaga aco. I shut my mouth and let them. Hindi na rin aco masyadong kumanta.
Di na nga aco sumabay sa Recessional kaya nagkagulo-gulo na. Tapos nung mukang nalito sila dun sa last part at nagkamali, nagtawanan pa. Nakakabad-trip e. So after taking off the cord from the mic, I told them, almost harshly, to sit down. Umalis na nga si Kuya Darwin nang hindi man lang aco nakapagpasalamat.
Nagsimula na ang panenermon co. Nakakainis kasi. Sinasaway nang paulit-ulit, ayaw pang magsitahimik. Nakakabastos na e, walang mga respeto. Palibhasa, nakikipag-biruan aco sa kanila. I am not laying my authority that much because I don't want to be an "authority figure". Umaabuso na e. Hindi naman porke mga kaibigan co sila, pababayaan co na lang.
I was somewhat close to tears. Ganito talaga aco kapag galit, naiiyak. But I didn't cry. There was just a lump of my throat, but I didn't cry. I'm laying my "authority", and authorities don't cry.
O, nung napagalitan saka nagsipag-tahimik. Kala mo mga maamong tupa e. Kailangan pa papagalitan muna.
Wala na. Bad trip na talaga aco. Nakakainis kasi e. Matapos ipaalala ang tungkol sa pesteng collared shirt na ilang linggo co nang ipinaalala sa kanila pero 13 pa lang ang nagpapasa, binirahan co sila ng walk-out. I just heard someone leading the prayer as I walk down the stairs. Si Gerard yata yun.
I walked with a straight face. I felt my jaws clenching, my brows furrowing. I headed to PEAC, and forgot to ask for the sign in my prayer book. Next week co na lang papapirmahan. Bad trip aco, and all I wanted at that time was to talk to Him.
Ayoko pa naman sa lahat, yung naba-bad trip. Ayoko kaya ng seryoso aco. Hindi aco sanay at alam cong hindi sanay ang mga tao. Ayoko ng galit aco. But I had to lay my authority. I had to be angry. I was angry, and the annoyance I felt wasn't something I could and should keep.
Naiinis talaga aco. Naiinis aco sa mga ka-choir co at sa sarili co. Yes, I am annoyed mostly to myself.
Bakit nung time naman ni Ate Jen, ni Ate Beth, ni Ate Pam, hindi naman ganito? I mean, sumusunod agad sa kanila ang choir. Ganun ba talaga? Hindi ba talaga aco karespe-respeto? Don't I deserve respect?
Maybe it was because they "grew up" with me. Dahil matagal na nila acong kilala that's why they don't fear me anymore. Maybe it was all because of childishness. Maybe it was because they even look more matured than me. Maybe because I am small, that's why they think so little of me.
Nakakainis. I was looking forward for this day. I was looking forward for a peaceful, heart-touching mass, looking forward for great singing, looking forward for time with my friends. Pero nasira lang lahat.
**
I was still annoyed when I got home, but it gradually faded.
Arbu PMed me in YM, and apologized. I accepted his apology, and just told him na hindi aco pupunta sa kanila para kunin yung shirts na ilang beses co nang pinapalala sa kanila; sila ang maghanap sa'kin.
Napatunayan co na I couldn't still hold anger for too long. Aco talaga yung taong magagalit, pero mawawala na rin mayamaya. Aco yung taong madaling amuhin.
I don't know how will I act when I saw them again, or how will I treat them next Saturday. Basta, hindi na aco papayag na maulit na naman na ganito. I still don't like to lay authority, but if I must, I will.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Ow. English Week : (
We had our meeting on English Club this afternoon at 1 o'clock. I am an officer, a Fourth Year Representative actually, so I was included in the meeting.
English week is on the third week of September, but we started planning for it this early. We talked about our club's shirt, which has a conflict because the "assigned" color to English club is orange (presidents of all club had discussed about that. See this blog post.) The English teacher--which are the advisers in the club--don't like the color so they chose pink instead. Pero alam co, may naka-assign na sa pink e. But we will be using pink, nevertheless.
We also discussed about the bulletin board. Naku! Yung President naman kasi namen, actually, hindi... ganun ka-competent. Napagkatuwaan lang kasi siyang iboto e. He's actually a... uhm, mentally-challenged person. Not that I discriminate him, but Ginnique should have been the Lingua Franca President.
Lastly, we talked about the activities for the English week. and to my ultimate, utter disappontment, officers can't join in any contest! Dammit!
Kung alam co lang talaga, sa totoo lang, tinanggihan co na lang sana ang pagiging officer. Di bale sana kung ganun kataas yung poistion co, e hindi naman. One of my plans last vacation is that I will join in every contest, especially in English week, that I can join. I was planning to join Quiz Bee, Declamation, Spelling Bee, Extempo, Debate, o kahit hindi na lang lahat 'yun, basta yung mga pwede cong salihan.
But my hopes vanished today. Gaah. Wala acong pwedeng salihan. Pan'o yung section namin? E nung Linggo ng Wika nga, halos aco lang rin ang sumali sa'min e. Yung mga kaklase co kasi, ayaw. E pa'no sa English Week? Ano pang mangyayari sa'min? Gusto co pa namang ipakita kay Sir na mali yung sinabi niyang wala kaming mapapalanunang kahit anong contest. Na kaya namin. Na makaka-kuha din kami ng medal. E pa'no ngayon 'yan?
Shit. Nanghihinayang talaga aco kapag naaalala co. :(
The meeting ended at nearly 3:30. I was already late for Science. Gusto co pa namang pumasok kasi maganda ang topic namin, tungkol sa mga sagot dun sa NCAE reviewer. E kapag ganun ang dami cong natututunan.
Nang dumating aco sa room, nagpaliwanag aco kay Mrs. Suinan kung saan aco galing. Hindi naman siya galit, playful yung mood niya kaya matagal pa bago aco pinapasok. Yung mga traydor cong kaklase, lalo na yung mga lalaki, ginagatungan para hindi aco papasukin!
Pero pinapasok na rin aco. They're answering a quiz from a test questionnaire. It was a 50-item quiz, and for Pete's sake, it is recorded!
Hala! E hindi binigay sa'kin ni Miss yung quiz notebook co e! PA'NO YAN! 50 items yun!! Edi bokya na co!
Sila Dizon inaasar aco. Iiyak na daw aco. At dahil mababaw talaga acong tao, naiyak aco dun sa sinabi nilang iiyak na aco, pero tawa pa rin aco ng tawa dahil muka acong tanga. Siguro naawa sa'kin si Miss, binigay sa'kin yung quiz notebook co at questionnaire. Pero hanggang 30 items lang ang nasagutan co. Hay,
At least, di zero. Pero sayang yung 20 items! Sheeeet!
English week is on the third week of September, but we started planning for it this early. We talked about our club's shirt, which has a conflict because the "assigned" color to English club is orange (presidents of all club had discussed about that. See this blog post.) The English teacher--which are the advisers in the club--don't like the color so they chose pink instead. Pero alam co, may naka-assign na sa pink e. But we will be using pink, nevertheless.
We also discussed about the bulletin board. Naku! Yung President naman kasi namen, actually, hindi... ganun ka-competent. Napagkatuwaan lang kasi siyang iboto e. He's actually a... uhm, mentally-challenged person. Not that I discriminate him, but Ginnique should have been the Lingua Franca President.
Lastly, we talked about the activities for the English week. and to my ultimate, utter disappontment, officers can't join in any contest! Dammit!
Kung alam co lang talaga, sa totoo lang, tinanggihan co na lang sana ang pagiging officer. Di bale sana kung ganun kataas yung poistion co, e hindi naman. One of my plans last vacation is that I will join in every contest, especially in English week, that I can join. I was planning to join Quiz Bee, Declamation, Spelling Bee, Extempo, Debate, o kahit hindi na lang lahat 'yun, basta yung mga pwede cong salihan.
But my hopes vanished today. Gaah. Wala acong pwedeng salihan. Pan'o yung section namin? E nung Linggo ng Wika nga, halos aco lang rin ang sumali sa'min e. Yung mga kaklase co kasi, ayaw. E pa'no sa English Week? Ano pang mangyayari sa'min? Gusto co pa namang ipakita kay Sir na mali yung sinabi niyang wala kaming mapapalanunang kahit anong contest. Na kaya namin. Na makaka-kuha din kami ng medal. E pa'no ngayon 'yan?
Shit. Nanghihinayang talaga aco kapag naaalala co. :(
The meeting ended at nearly 3:30. I was already late for Science. Gusto co pa namang pumasok kasi maganda ang topic namin, tungkol sa mga sagot dun sa NCAE reviewer. E kapag ganun ang dami cong natututunan.
Nang dumating aco sa room, nagpaliwanag aco kay Mrs. Suinan kung saan aco galing. Hindi naman siya galit, playful yung mood niya kaya matagal pa bago aco pinapasok. Yung mga traydor cong kaklase, lalo na yung mga lalaki, ginagatungan para hindi aco papasukin!
Pero pinapasok na rin aco. They're answering a quiz from a test questionnaire. It was a 50-item quiz, and for Pete's sake, it is recorded!
Hala! E hindi binigay sa'kin ni Miss yung quiz notebook co e! PA'NO YAN! 50 items yun!! Edi bokya na co!
Sila Dizon inaasar aco. Iiyak na daw aco. At dahil mababaw talaga acong tao, naiyak aco dun sa sinabi nilang iiyak na aco, pero tawa pa rin aco ng tawa dahil muka acong tanga. Siguro naawa sa'kin si Miss, binigay sa'kin yung quiz notebook co at questionnaire. Pero hanggang 30 items lang ang nasagutan co. Hay,
At least, di zero. Pero sayang yung 20 items! Sheeeet!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Pressured
Ngayong araw, nag-isip kaming mga officers kung pa'no ide-decorate yung room namen. Sheda, wala na naman ngang ginagawa e. Ang ingay pa nung mga classmates co.
Nag-isip kami ng mga offences sa lalagyan ng fine para hindi na magka'class fund. Ang corny kasi e, class fund pa. At dahil wala namang ginagawa ang P.R.O., aco ang magbebenta ng papel at mapupunta yung pera sa fund. Uso kasi hingian sa'min ng papel, kawawa tuloy yung nagdadala kasi buong klase ang nahingi sa kanya. Si Honey supplier ng Stevenson nun e. XD
Recess, sabay ulit kami ni Jayson. Sumabay din sa'min si Lea. Ang daming tao sa canteen, sheda. Naiirita talaga aco sa uniform ng first year. 'Kala mo di taga Liceo de San Pedro dahil naka-long sleeves. Tapos ang init pang tingnan.
Dahil nga marami pang tao sa canteen, tumambay muna kami sa faculty. Adik si Lea, lahat ng tao sinasabihang umattend sa drills something ng mga CAT bukas. Nung kumonti na yung mga tao sa canteen, bumili na kami.
Wala pa si Sir dela Torre 'pag balik namin sa room kaya tambay muna sa labas. At nung bumalik na, wala na kami masyadong ginawa.
Nung uwian, nandun si Ayyah sa labas ng room namin. Nagkwentuhan sila nila Jayson at Jorvina ng tungkol sa KHR. Di naman aco maka'relate kasi hanggang episode 3 pa lang yata yung napanood co. Kaya ni-try co na lang sagutan yung English reviewer ni Ayyah for UPCAT.
Bumaba na kami ni Ayyah sa locker area. Pumunta muna sila ni Lea sa extension habang aco e nagsasagot. Bumaba si Sir Bautista mula sa Music room, almuni pa nga yata yung kumausap sa kanya.
Nung paalis na siya, maya-maya sabi sa'kin.
"Ikaw ba president? (I nodded.) Ikaw ang president? O bakit wala kang ginagawa? Umpisa na nga school year, di ka man lang nakikipag-coordinate sa'kin. O sa Tuesday may misa, kayong tatlo na lang!"
Tumango lang aco. Umalis na si Sir, habang aco naman ay tigalgal.
Ha? Isip-isip co. Super shocked aco. Ang sarcastic ng pagsasalita niya.
Parang ang tono ng pagsasalita niya e wala acong inaatupag sa Glee Club. Na wala acong ka'kwenta-kwentang President. Na wala acong silbi.
Ganun ba talaga aco? Dammit.
Kulang pa ba yung in'exert cong effort sa nakaraang bakasyon na hindi naman dapat aco ang namamahala sa Glee Club dahil sa June pa aco effective. Kulang pa ba yung mga ginawa cong pag-attend, pagkanta kahit halos lilima lang kami, pagpupumilit na ayusin ang choir? Kulang pa ba lahat ng ginawa co?
Oo, siguro nga maliliit lang na bagay 'yon, pero nakagawa din naman aco ng pagbabago kahit papano, di ba? Ngayon nga lang kami nag'salmo e.
Shit.
Inis na inis aco sa sarili co. Parati na lang acong failure. Sa Gatekeeper, wala acong kwenta. Sa SSG, aco ang weakest link. Tapos dito, dito sa tanging field na nag-eexcel aco, sa organization na minahal co, sa club na pinagsilbihan co ng ilang taon, PALPAK pa rin aco?
F*ck! Failure ka, Ivy! Failure! Wala kang kwenta! Wala kang silbi!
Di na nawala yun sa isip co. Sinubukan cong ipagpatuloy sagutan yung reviewer, pero cong naiisip ang bagay na 'yon. Ang tanga co. Ang loser co.
At nang bumalik sila Ayyah, di co na naiwasang maiyak.
Ang loser co talaga.
Okay lang naman sana sa'kin e. Open naman aco sa critisms. Aco yung klase ng taong bihirang ma-offend. Okay, ganun yung tingin nila sa'kin. Kaya lang ang sakit kasi pinipilit co naman umayos, pinipilit co namang may ma-contribute sa school co, tapos kahit ano palang gawin co hindi maa'appreciate. O sige, siguro nga wala acong ginawa. AMPNESS. Wala acong kwenta.
Dumating sila Eday kaya naman tumungo aco. E eto namang si Charlson, sinabing umiyak aco. Tanong naman sila kung bakit aco umiyak.
"Wala. Kasi hindi niya masagutan yung mga tanong." Palusot ni Ayyah. Toinks.
But I felt better later. I should feel better. Di ba sanay na aco sa ganito? Hindi na bago ang mga bagay na ito.
Magla-lunch na sila kaya naman umuwi na aco.
--
Okay na aco pagbalik co sa school nang 1:15. Erased na ang mga bagay na 'yon. Dapat lang.
Naka-pink blouse aco at brown tokong. E kasi naglalaba na sa bahay kaya sinabay co na yung ginamit cong uniform.
"San ka magtuturo?" Tanong ni Cheche sa'kin ng nakita aco.
LOL. Muka ba acong teacher?
Nasa room daw sila ng St. Basil (4th year star) kaya naman pumunta na aco dun. Nung nasa tunnel na acom kasunod co na si Sir Luna. Super madali aco ng lakad e, nag'eecho pa yung maingay na tunog ng high-heeled sandals co. =>
At ayun, naasar acong muka daw acong teacher. Haha.
Di daw pala tuloy yung grammar test ngayon. Gagawa ng article. Sheda. Basta, magsu-switch talaga aco sa Feauture Writing. Ayoko na sa Sports, wala nang nangyari sa'kin dun.
Umalis na rin si Sir Luna kaya labo-labo na. Kanina kasi kulang na lang di kami huminga. Haha. Pero kahit na ganun naman si Sir, mas gusto co pa rin siyang maging English teacher. Sayang nga lang at hindi.
Matapos ang humigit-kumulang tatlong oras, natapos din naman ang mga articles. Dadalin daw yun kay Ms. Navia sa Los Baños at siya ang pipili kung anong magiging posisyon namin.
Pumunta na kami sa Main at hinintay si Sir Luna. Nag'chikahan at nagtawanan. Lumabas na kami pero hinintay pa namin si Ms. Rasdas kaya 6:00 na aco nakauwi. Nung pag-uwi co, nasabi co na kay mama yung tungkol sa leadership training sa Baguio sa September. Yes! Okay lang sa kanya!
Kahit naman may hindi magandang pangyayari sa araw na 'to, okay na rin aco. Okay lang 'yun. Papatunayan co sa kanila na may magagawa din aco. :)
Nag-isip kami ng mga offences sa lalagyan ng fine para hindi na magka'class fund. Ang corny kasi e, class fund pa. At dahil wala namang ginagawa ang P.R.O., aco ang magbebenta ng papel at mapupunta yung pera sa fund. Uso kasi hingian sa'min ng papel, kawawa tuloy yung nagdadala kasi buong klase ang nahingi sa kanya. Si Honey supplier ng Stevenson nun e. XD
Recess, sabay ulit kami ni Jayson. Sumabay din sa'min si Lea. Ang daming tao sa canteen, sheda. Naiirita talaga aco sa uniform ng first year. 'Kala mo di taga Liceo de San Pedro dahil naka-long sleeves. Tapos ang init pang tingnan.
Dahil nga marami pang tao sa canteen, tumambay muna kami sa faculty. Adik si Lea, lahat ng tao sinasabihang umattend sa drills something ng mga CAT bukas. Nung kumonti na yung mga tao sa canteen, bumili na kami.
Wala pa si Sir dela Torre 'pag balik namin sa room kaya tambay muna sa labas. At nung bumalik na, wala na kami masyadong ginawa.
Nung uwian, nandun si Ayyah sa labas ng room namin. Nagkwentuhan sila nila Jayson at Jorvina ng tungkol sa KHR. Di naman aco maka'relate kasi hanggang episode 3 pa lang yata yung napanood co. Kaya ni-try co na lang sagutan yung English reviewer ni Ayyah for UPCAT.
Bumaba na kami ni Ayyah sa locker area. Pumunta muna sila ni Lea sa extension habang aco e nagsasagot. Bumaba si Sir Bautista mula sa Music room, almuni pa nga yata yung kumausap sa kanya.
Nung paalis na siya, maya-maya sabi sa'kin.
"Ikaw ba president? (I nodded.) Ikaw ang president? O bakit wala kang ginagawa? Umpisa na nga school year, di ka man lang nakikipag-coordinate sa'kin. O sa Tuesday may misa, kayong tatlo na lang!"
Tumango lang aco. Umalis na si Sir, habang aco naman ay tigalgal.
Ha? Isip-isip co. Super shocked aco. Ang sarcastic ng pagsasalita niya.
Parang ang tono ng pagsasalita niya e wala acong inaatupag sa Glee Club. Na wala acong ka'kwenta-kwentang President. Na wala acong silbi.
Ganun ba talaga aco? Dammit.
Kulang pa ba yung in'exert cong effort sa nakaraang bakasyon na hindi naman dapat aco ang namamahala sa Glee Club dahil sa June pa aco effective. Kulang pa ba yung mga ginawa cong pag-attend, pagkanta kahit halos lilima lang kami, pagpupumilit na ayusin ang choir? Kulang pa ba lahat ng ginawa co?
Oo, siguro nga maliliit lang na bagay 'yon, pero nakagawa din naman aco ng pagbabago kahit papano, di ba? Ngayon nga lang kami nag'salmo e.
Shit.
Inis na inis aco sa sarili co. Parati na lang acong failure. Sa Gatekeeper, wala acong kwenta. Sa SSG, aco ang weakest link. Tapos dito, dito sa tanging field na nag-eexcel aco, sa organization na minahal co, sa club na pinagsilbihan co ng ilang taon, PALPAK pa rin aco?
F*ck! Failure ka, Ivy! Failure! Wala kang kwenta! Wala kang silbi!
Di na nawala yun sa isip co. Sinubukan cong ipagpatuloy sagutan yung reviewer, pero cong naiisip ang bagay na 'yon. Ang tanga co. Ang loser co.
At nang bumalik sila Ayyah, di co na naiwasang maiyak.
Ang loser co talaga.
Okay lang naman sana sa'kin e. Open naman aco sa critisms. Aco yung klase ng taong bihirang ma-offend. Okay, ganun yung tingin nila sa'kin. Kaya lang ang sakit kasi pinipilit co naman umayos, pinipilit co namang may ma-contribute sa school co, tapos kahit ano palang gawin co hindi maa'appreciate. O sige, siguro nga wala acong ginawa. AMPNESS. Wala acong kwenta.
Dumating sila Eday kaya naman tumungo aco. E eto namang si Charlson, sinabing umiyak aco. Tanong naman sila kung bakit aco umiyak.
"Wala. Kasi hindi niya masagutan yung mga tanong." Palusot ni Ayyah. Toinks.
But I felt better later. I should feel better. Di ba sanay na aco sa ganito? Hindi na bago ang mga bagay na ito.
Magla-lunch na sila kaya naman umuwi na aco.
--
Okay na aco pagbalik co sa school nang 1:15. Erased na ang mga bagay na 'yon. Dapat lang.
Naka-pink blouse aco at brown tokong. E kasi naglalaba na sa bahay kaya sinabay co na yung ginamit cong uniform.
"San ka magtuturo?" Tanong ni Cheche sa'kin ng nakita aco.
LOL. Muka ba acong teacher?
Nasa room daw sila ng St. Basil (4th year star) kaya naman pumunta na aco dun. Nung nasa tunnel na acom kasunod co na si Sir Luna. Super madali aco ng lakad e, nag'eecho pa yung maingay na tunog ng high-heeled sandals co. =>
At ayun, naasar acong muka daw acong teacher. Haha.
Di daw pala tuloy yung grammar test ngayon. Gagawa ng article. Sheda. Basta, magsu-switch talaga aco sa Feauture Writing. Ayoko na sa Sports, wala nang nangyari sa'kin dun.
Umalis na rin si Sir Luna kaya labo-labo na. Kanina kasi kulang na lang di kami huminga. Haha. Pero kahit na ganun naman si Sir, mas gusto co pa rin siyang maging English teacher. Sayang nga lang at hindi.
Matapos ang humigit-kumulang tatlong oras, natapos din naman ang mga articles. Dadalin daw yun kay Ms. Navia sa Los Baños at siya ang pipili kung anong magiging posisyon namin.
Pumunta na kami sa Main at hinintay si Sir Luna. Nag'chikahan at nagtawanan. Lumabas na kami pero hinintay pa namin si Ms. Rasdas kaya 6:00 na aco nakauwi. Nung pag-uwi co, nasabi co na kay mama yung tungkol sa leadership training sa Baguio sa September. Yes! Okay lang sa kanya!
Kahit naman may hindi magandang pangyayari sa araw na 'to, okay na rin aco. Okay lang 'yun. Papatunayan co sa kanila na may magagawa din aco. :)
Friday, March 20, 2009
Finally
Ang daming naganap ngayong araw na ito. They made me feel frustrated, but despite that, I'm very happy. At last, I think the depression is over. 
Play na ng Noli. Grabe, excited na aco. Maaga acong nagiseng para ihatid ang kapatid co sa school, pagkatapos ay nagbukas ng computer at nag'Plurk (love it!
Sheesh.. Late na aco. Sabe kase 8am pumunta sa school para makapag'practice pa. 9am na aco nakapunta. Am'bigat-bigat ng dala co kase bukod sa mga costumes, dala co din yung kurtina nameng malaki kaya mas lalong bumigat. Kaya ayun, pagdating co sa room na nasa katuktukan pa ng extension e lawit na dila co.
Di pa naman sila nagpa'practice. So pinakuha co kay Andrade yung laptop ng school na hinihiram kai Ser para maayos na ang aming sound effects. Puro nga Mozart yun e.
Inayos co na yung mga background music namen. At habang inaasikaso co yung pagpili ng mga sounds, ayun at nag'aayos naman ng speakers na gagamitin si Jayson. Sheesh.. Ayun, di pa rin kame nagpapansinan. Gustong-gusto co na nga siyang pansinin kaya lang naiilang aco. Pff.
Maya-maya, dumating na rin si Sir at nag-"practice" ng play namen.
Nakakainis nga e. Lahat na lang ng practice namen, puro balasubas. Wala na kameng matinong practice. Nakaka'asar kase ang daming interruptions. Psh.
Aco naman si Sisa, todo bigai. Adik e. Na-"antig" nga daw ang damdamin ni Sir. Di co lang alam kung kaya cong umiyak sa actual play; sabe kase nila umiyak daw aco.
Pinag'lunch na kame. Di muna aco nag'lunch dahil maaga pa at wala pa yung baon co. Inaayos co pa rin yung sound effects. At nung kakain na aco ng lunch, ewan co ba pero wala acong gana. Pero gutom aco, tinatamad lang talaga acong kumain. So matapos ng mga tatlong subo e niligpit co na rin ang baon co.
Nagbibihis na ang ibang mga section. Kaya kami ay nagbihis na rin. Nagulat pa nga aco sa itsura ni Andrade as Padre Damaso dahil talagang nag'iba yung itsura niya nang maglagai siya ng pekeng balbas using an eyeliner. Kamuka niya si... Hudas? Later na'realize namen na kamuka niya yung mga maskara sa Moriones Festival.
Nagbihis na rin aco as Sisa. Isang cream polo shirt at paldang mukang pang'labandera ang suot co. Ang luwag pa nga ng palda; super lawlaw at kita na yung shorts co kaya nilagyan co na lang ng pardible. Ni'try co pa ang itsura co kapag baliw na co kaya ginulo co ang buhok co at nagtali ng plastic sa katawan at buhok co.
Matapos makapag'asikaso, umakyat na kame sa Auditorium. Una ang Browing. Hmm.. okey lang yung sa kanila, pero di ganun kaganda. Sunod ang Wordsworth na talagang bonggang'bongga. Pero sa totoo lang, sa tingin namen e kaya naming talunin yun. Maganda kase ang mga props nila at lahat sa eksena e gumagalaw talaga at di lang basta nakatunganga--bagay na kulang sa'men. Pero kaya namin yun.
Bumaba na rin kami pagkatapos ng Donya Concolacion at Sisa scene ng Wordsworth. General practice kase. Asar nga kase sinasabihang practice na e ayaw pang magtata'tayo. Nagsisisigaw pa aco.
To my dismay, ang gulo ng aming "general practice". Dapat nga dere'derecho na, pero ang dami pa ring interruptions. Si Lopez nga e ilang beses cong sinigawan at binungangaan dahil parang tanga na nakatunganga at di alam kung saang scene papasok.
Asar talaga. Ang gulo.
Scene co na. Sabe co kay Valdez, na gaganap na Pedro, e totohanin na ang sampal. Naka'ilang ulit din kami kase sabe co lutungan yung sampal para masakit at para maiyak aco, e mahina pa'rin.
Dun naman sa next scene kung saan mababaliw na si Sisa e nabanas talaga aco. Panu kase sila Morada na siyang Guardia Civil e mukang tanga lang sa paghuli sa'ken. E sabe co umayos na e. Ayun, super sigaw tuloi aco at nag'emote pa.
Umiiyak na kase aco nun. Tahimik lahat e. Walang nagsasalita. Drama co. Nakaka'asar naman kase, nakakabwisit kaya.
word of the day: frustrate
Ewan co, mai kinuha yata aco sa mai bandang lalagyan ng portfolio. Tapos lumapit aco kay Almandral para tumutok sa electric fan. At natatawa'tawa aco habang umiiyak dahil natatawa aco sa sarili co. Natatawa na rin si Almendral sa'ken.
"E kase naman e, nakaka'inis sila." Sabi co habang umiiyak'tumatawa.
Pumunta aco sa CR para mag'ayos ng sarili. Pam'busabos na nga damit co, lalo pa acong nagmukang busabos kakaiyak. Haay, am'babaw talaga ng luha co kapag galit o naiinis aco. Pero kapag kailangang umiyak tulad ng sa role co as Sisa e di aco maiyak. Asar.
Back to normal ang Stevenson pagbalik co. Parang di sila tumahimik kanina nung nagalit aco. Parang di man lang naantig ang mga damdamin at na'guilty. Hay, tigas talaga ng mga muka. Pero kahet naman ganian sila, labs co sila.
Okey na sana aco, nainis lang aco kai Karen na gaganap bilang Consolacion dahil sabe cong sabihen na ang mga lines nia e sabi niya sa play na dw talaga. Ayun, nabanas na naman aco.
"Bala kayo. Tinatamad na acong mag'practice." Inis na sabi co sabay punta sa likod.
Umakyat aco maya'maya para manuod sa iba pang nagpe'perform at para magpalamig na rin ng ulo. Wala, mas maayos pa rin ang sa'men compared sa ibang section. Confident nga kame e. Nagku'kwentuhan kame nila Andrade at Manza na kami at Wordsworth lang magkalaban. Mai chance pa nga na matalo namen ang Wordsworth dahil maraming unique na part sa'men.
Malapit na kame. Actually kame nga yung last na magpe'perform. Wala na ngang masyadong nanunuod sa ibang section at maingay na. Icu'cut din daw pag mahaba dahil hangang 30 minutes lang daw. Inasikaso na namen ang kailangan.
Dan dan dum dan..
Kami na.
Oha. Unique ang scene 1 namen. Ang ibang sections e pare'parehong may nagsasabi na "Ang Noli Me Tangere ay isinulat ni Jose Rizal chuva chenes eklavu.." samantalang sa'men e si Rizal talaga ang nagsasalita na ginagampanan ni Manza. Nabasag pa nga yung plato co nung nadapa ang katulong na si Edmarie.
Bongga, lahat sa'men mai sound effects.
Katuwa nga nung Araw ng mga Patay Scene. Inaayos kase ni Jayson yung mga puntod e biglang bumaba na yung kurtina kaya biglang pasimpleng tuwid siya ng tayo.
Katuwa din ang Suyuan sa Asotea Scene kung saan kunyaring nag'kiss si Jayson at Amil.
Langya, baklang-bakla talaga si Quitain as Crispin. Nagtatawanan nga yung mga audience at niloloko siya.
Scene co na. Parang tanga, kumatok agad si Valdez as Pedro e di pa nga aco nakakapagsalita. Okey din yung paghaltak at pagsampal niya sa akin kahet di masyadong malakas.
Sheda nga, mali yung lyrics nung kanta cong 'Sa Ugoy ng Duyan". Umulit yung 1st two lines. Pero di naman siya halata.
Okay naman ang performance co. Kaya lang di aco naiyak.
Bongga din ang Pangingisda scene namen dahil unlike sa ibang section na parang tangang nakipag'klaban sa buwaya sa sahig, meron kameng cellophane na mukang dagat. Aba, aco yata nakaisip nun!
Pagkatapos nung scene na yun, biglang sabi ni Sir, "Cut na!"
Cut na? Lahat kame nagtaka kung baket ang bilis. 10 minutes pa lang yata yun. Grabe kaya! E sabe daw ng judges e cut na. Anu ba yon?
Nabuo tuloi ang mga ispekulasyon. Maganda daw kase yung sa'men kaya ayaw nang ituloi dahil baka matalbugan ang star. Sheda, asar talaga lahat.
Misa na tuloy agad ang sunod. May black make-up na aco kaya muka na acong busabos. Eto picture co:
Di ba, muka talaga acong busabos?
Pagkatapos e yung scene namen ni Karen. Tinamaan rin aco nung jumping rope na latigo although di masyadong masakit. E sabe co sa kanya lakasan niya e.
Pagkatapos nun, ending na agad. Asar talaga. Tumataas pa nga yung palda co nung patay na co e.
Bumaba na kame. Asar na asar ang lahat sa'men e. Lalo na nung nalaman namen na third placer lang kame. Di naman sa di kame tumatanggap ng pagkatalo, kaya lang alam naman namen na hindi iyon ang nararapat na place namen, lalo't Browning ang secong, Wordsworth ang first. Tanggap pa namen na natalo kame ng Wordsworth kaya lang Browning?
Dapat second sana kami kung natapos lang namin. May chance pa nga sigurong matalo ang Wordsworth nun. Asar talaga. Nung kame nga magpe'perform, naglabasan yung mga estudyanteng kani-kanina lang e nagkukwentuhan at walang ginagawa habang yung ibang section ang nagpe'perform. Tahimik rin sila. Nag'akyatan din ang mga teachers. Kase, expected nilang maganda. At maganda naman talaga sana, kundi lang na'cut. Asar. Eto mahirap sa school namen e, mga star sections lang ang pinapahalagahan. Pano magkaka ayos ang mga star ang non-star kung mismong teachers ang nagsasabong sa'men?
Ang dameng na'frustrate at na'dismaya. Asar talaga..
**
Pumunta na si Sir sa room at mejo napag'kwentuhan nga ng tungkol sa play. Sigaw nga ng sigaw ang lahat ng "LUTO!!" e. E ganun talaga e, basta para sa'emn kami ang nanalo. Rematch na lang, yung buo! Haha!
Nag'announce na ng mga best. Eto yung mga aattend sa recognition:
At last! Sa loob ng anim na taon co sa Liceo, makaka'akyat na rin aco sa stage on a recogintion day!! Haha!!
Pero sa totoo lang, alam co nang may award aco kaya di na aco masyadong nag'react kanina. Sinabi na kase yun sa'ken ni Sir Cortez dati e. Palibhasa hanga parati sa reporting co.
**
Uwian na. Matatapos na ang araw. Di pa rin kami nagpapansinan ni Jayson. Sabe nga daw nila Almendral, aco na lang daw talaga ang hinihintay ni Jayson na pumansin sa kania. Two weeks din kaming no pansin sa isa't isa.
Pero pinangako co sa sarili co na hindi matatapos ang week na ito na hindi kami nakakapag'usap. Kinalabit aco ni Kathie at sinabi ngang kausapin co si Jayson. Di muna kame bumaba, hinihintay pa namen siya. Nung lumabas na siya, lumabas na rin aco.
I gathered all my guts to talk to him. Hinawakan co ang braso niya at sinabeng, "Ui, bati na tayo."
At ang sagot? And ine'expect co: "Baket, di naman kase aco galit sa'yo e. Kulet."
Pero di na ito yung serious na "di aco galit sa'yo" unlike before. It was Jayson's usual way of talking. Good sign.
"E baket di tayo nagpapansinan?"
"Aba.. Di nga aco galit [...]"
Nagbibiro na rin siya. At kami, pinutakte ng asar. Puro "aiyeee...".
"Basta ah, bati na tayo. Bati na tayo ah!" Sabe co kay Jayson.
At paulit-ulit siya na hindi naman daw siya galit sa'ken. Ni'dare pa ni Honey si Jayson na yakapin aco. And to my surprise, he did! At para i'emphasize ang kaliitan co, nag'crouch pa siya para yakapin aco. :))
Niloko co pa nga siya habang naglalakad kame na tungkol sa satus message niya sa YM dati at yung sinabi niya rin dati sa mga classmates co.
Nanahimik naman siya tungkol dun. Anu daw yun.
Bati na kami. Bati na kami. Finally. At last. Sana, di magkatotoo yung sinabi niya status message niya. Sana kung anu man yung nasira sa'men e maayos.>
But at least, my depressions has ended. And I'm glad. :)
Play na ng Noli. Grabe, excited na aco. Maaga acong nagiseng para ihatid ang kapatid co sa school, pagkatapos ay nagbukas ng computer at nag'Plurk (love it!
Sheesh.. Late na aco. Sabe kase 8am pumunta sa school para makapag'practice pa. 9am na aco nakapunta. Am'bigat-bigat ng dala co kase bukod sa mga costumes, dala co din yung kurtina nameng malaki kaya mas lalong bumigat. Kaya ayun, pagdating co sa room na nasa katuktukan pa ng extension e lawit na dila co.
Di pa naman sila nagpa'practice. So pinakuha co kay Andrade yung laptop ng school na hinihiram kai Ser para maayos na ang aming sound effects. Puro nga Mozart yun e.
Inayos co na yung mga background music namen. At habang inaasikaso co yung pagpili ng mga sounds, ayun at nag'aayos naman ng speakers na gagamitin si Jayson. Sheesh.. Ayun, di pa rin kame nagpapansinan. Gustong-gusto co na nga siyang pansinin kaya lang naiilang aco. Pff.
Maya-maya, dumating na rin si Sir at nag-"practice" ng play namen.
Nakakainis nga e. Lahat na lang ng practice namen, puro balasubas. Wala na kameng matinong practice. Nakaka'asar kase ang daming interruptions. Psh.
Aco naman si Sisa, todo bigai. Adik e. Na-"antig" nga daw ang damdamin ni Sir. Di co lang alam kung kaya cong umiyak sa actual play; sabe kase nila umiyak daw aco.
Pinag'lunch na kame. Di muna aco nag'lunch dahil maaga pa at wala pa yung baon co. Inaayos co pa rin yung sound effects. At nung kakain na aco ng lunch, ewan co ba pero wala acong gana. Pero gutom aco, tinatamad lang talaga acong kumain. So matapos ng mga tatlong subo e niligpit co na rin ang baon co.
Nagbibihis na ang ibang mga section. Kaya kami ay nagbihis na rin. Nagulat pa nga aco sa itsura ni Andrade as Padre Damaso dahil talagang nag'iba yung itsura niya nang maglagai siya ng pekeng balbas using an eyeliner. Kamuka niya si... Hudas? Later na'realize namen na kamuka niya yung mga maskara sa Moriones Festival.
Nagbihis na rin aco as Sisa. Isang cream polo shirt at paldang mukang pang'labandera ang suot co. Ang luwag pa nga ng palda; super lawlaw at kita na yung shorts co kaya nilagyan co na lang ng pardible. Ni'try co pa ang itsura co kapag baliw na co kaya ginulo co ang buhok co at nagtali ng plastic sa katawan at buhok co.
Matapos makapag'asikaso, umakyat na kame sa Auditorium. Una ang Browing. Hmm.. okey lang yung sa kanila, pero di ganun kaganda. Sunod ang Wordsworth na talagang bonggang'bongga. Pero sa totoo lang, sa tingin namen e kaya naming talunin yun. Maganda kase ang mga props nila at lahat sa eksena e gumagalaw talaga at di lang basta nakatunganga--bagay na kulang sa'men. Pero kaya namin yun.
Bumaba na rin kami pagkatapos ng Donya Concolacion at Sisa scene ng Wordsworth. General practice kase. Asar nga kase sinasabihang practice na e ayaw pang magtata'tayo. Nagsisisigaw pa aco.
To my dismay, ang gulo ng aming "general practice". Dapat nga dere'derecho na, pero ang dami pa ring interruptions. Si Lopez nga e ilang beses cong sinigawan at binungangaan dahil parang tanga na nakatunganga at di alam kung saang scene papasok.
Asar talaga. Ang gulo.
Scene co na. Sabe co kay Valdez, na gaganap na Pedro, e totohanin na ang sampal. Naka'ilang ulit din kami kase sabe co lutungan yung sampal para masakit at para maiyak aco, e mahina pa'rin.
Dun naman sa next scene kung saan mababaliw na si Sisa e nabanas talaga aco. Panu kase sila Morada na siyang Guardia Civil e mukang tanga lang sa paghuli sa'ken. E sabe co umayos na e. Ayun, super sigaw tuloi aco at nag'emote pa.
"Para naman kaseng tanga e! Sabe ngang umayos na di ba? Alam niyo nakaka'frustrate kayo. Nagkakandahirap na yung iba nating kaklase tapos yung iba pa sa inyo ayaw magsiayos. Nakaka'frustrate talaga kayo. Ginagawa na nga ng iba yung lahat para umayos itong play naten tapos kayo ganian pa. [...] O ano, edi totoo na acong umiiyak!?"
Umiiyak na kase aco nun. Tahimik lahat e. Walang nagsasalita. Drama co. Nakaka'asar naman kase, nakakabwisit kaya.
word of the day: frustrate
Ewan co, mai kinuha yata aco sa mai bandang lalagyan ng portfolio. Tapos lumapit aco kay Almandral para tumutok sa electric fan. At natatawa'tawa aco habang umiiyak dahil natatawa aco sa sarili co. Natatawa na rin si Almendral sa'ken.
"E kase naman e, nakaka'inis sila." Sabi co habang umiiyak'tumatawa.
Pumunta aco sa CR para mag'ayos ng sarili. Pam'busabos na nga damit co, lalo pa acong nagmukang busabos kakaiyak. Haay, am'babaw talaga ng luha co kapag galit o naiinis aco. Pero kapag kailangang umiyak tulad ng sa role co as Sisa e di aco maiyak. Asar.
Back to normal ang Stevenson pagbalik co. Parang di sila tumahimik kanina nung nagalit aco. Parang di man lang naantig ang mga damdamin at na'guilty. Hay, tigas talaga ng mga muka. Pero kahet naman ganian sila, labs co sila.
Okey na sana aco, nainis lang aco kai Karen na gaganap bilang Consolacion dahil sabe cong sabihen na ang mga lines nia e sabi niya sa play na dw talaga. Ayun, nabanas na naman aco.
"Bala kayo. Tinatamad na acong mag'practice." Inis na sabi co sabay punta sa likod.
Umakyat aco maya'maya para manuod sa iba pang nagpe'perform at para magpalamig na rin ng ulo. Wala, mas maayos pa rin ang sa'men compared sa ibang section. Confident nga kame e. Nagku'kwentuhan kame nila Andrade at Manza na kami at Wordsworth lang magkalaban. Mai chance pa nga na matalo namen ang Wordsworth dahil maraming unique na part sa'men.
Malapit na kame. Actually kame nga yung last na magpe'perform. Wala na ngang masyadong nanunuod sa ibang section at maingay na. Icu'cut din daw pag mahaba dahil hangang 30 minutes lang daw. Inasikaso na namen ang kailangan.
Dan dan dum dan..
Kami na.
Oha. Unique ang scene 1 namen. Ang ibang sections e pare'parehong may nagsasabi na "Ang Noli Me Tangere ay isinulat ni Jose Rizal chuva chenes eklavu.." samantalang sa'men e si Rizal talaga ang nagsasalita na ginagampanan ni Manza. Nabasag pa nga yung plato co nung nadapa ang katulong na si Edmarie.
Bongga, lahat sa'men mai sound effects.
Katuwa nga nung Araw ng mga Patay Scene. Inaayos kase ni Jayson yung mga puntod e biglang bumaba na yung kurtina kaya biglang pasimpleng tuwid siya ng tayo.
Katuwa din ang Suyuan sa Asotea Scene kung saan kunyaring nag'kiss si Jayson at Amil.
Langya, baklang-bakla talaga si Quitain as Crispin. Nagtatawanan nga yung mga audience at niloloko siya.
Scene co na. Parang tanga, kumatok agad si Valdez as Pedro e di pa nga aco nakakapagsalita. Okey din yung paghaltak at pagsampal niya sa akin kahet di masyadong malakas.
Sheda nga, mali yung lyrics nung kanta cong 'Sa Ugoy ng Duyan". Umulit yung 1st two lines. Pero di naman siya halata.
Okay naman ang performance co. Kaya lang di aco naiyak.
Bongga din ang Pangingisda scene namen dahil unlike sa ibang section na parang tangang nakipag'klaban sa buwaya sa sahig, meron kameng cellophane na mukang dagat. Aba, aco yata nakaisip nun!
Pagkatapos nung scene na yun, biglang sabi ni Sir, "Cut na!"
Cut na? Lahat kame nagtaka kung baket ang bilis. 10 minutes pa lang yata yun. Grabe kaya! E sabe daw ng judges e cut na. Anu ba yon?
Nabuo tuloi ang mga ispekulasyon. Maganda daw kase yung sa'men kaya ayaw nang ituloi dahil baka matalbugan ang star. Sheda, asar talaga lahat.
Misa na tuloy agad ang sunod. May black make-up na aco kaya muka na acong busabos. Eto picture co:
Di ba, muka talaga acong busabos?
Pagkatapos e yung scene namen ni Karen. Tinamaan rin aco nung jumping rope na latigo although di masyadong masakit. E sabe co sa kanya lakasan niya e.
Pagkatapos nun, ending na agad. Asar talaga. Tumataas pa nga yung palda co nung patay na co e.
Bumaba na kame. Asar na asar ang lahat sa'men e. Lalo na nung nalaman namen na third placer lang kame. Di naman sa di kame tumatanggap ng pagkatalo, kaya lang alam naman namen na hindi iyon ang nararapat na place namen, lalo't Browning ang secong, Wordsworth ang first. Tanggap pa namen na natalo kame ng Wordsworth kaya lang Browning?
Dapat second sana kami kung natapos lang namin. May chance pa nga sigurong matalo ang Wordsworth nun. Asar talaga. Nung kame nga magpe'perform, naglabasan yung mga estudyanteng kani-kanina lang e nagkukwentuhan at walang ginagawa habang yung ibang section ang nagpe'perform. Tahimik rin sila. Nag'akyatan din ang mga teachers. Kase, expected nilang maganda. At maganda naman talaga sana, kundi lang na'cut. Asar. Eto mahirap sa school namen e, mga star sections lang ang pinapahalagahan. Pano magkaka ayos ang mga star ang non-star kung mismong teachers ang nagsasabong sa'men?
Ang dameng na'frustrate at na'dismaya. Asar talaga..
**
Pumunta na si Sir sa room at mejo napag'kwentuhan nga ng tungkol sa play. Sigaw nga ng sigaw ang lahat ng "LUTO!!" e. E ganun talaga e, basta para sa'emn kami ang nanalo. Rematch na lang, yung buo! Haha!
Nag'announce na ng mga best. Eto yung mga aattend sa recognition:
Leadership Awardee: Emmanuel Lexriel Andrade
-pinag'isipan daw talagang mabuti ni sir kase nga maraming conflict regarding sa pagiging president niya.
Most Industrious:Jayson C. Corpuz
-di man lang naglilinis ng room yan ah, partida. Haha.
Most Cooperative: Edmarie Macasinag
Best in Conduct: Jaynard Arpon
Best in Religion: Ivy Bernadette C. Nobleza
At last! Sa loob ng anim na taon co sa Liceo, makaka'akyat na rin aco sa stage on a recogintion day!! Haha!!
Pero sa totoo lang, alam co nang may award aco kaya di na aco masyadong nag'react kanina. Sinabi na kase yun sa'ken ni Sir Cortez dati e. Palibhasa hanga parati sa reporting co.
**
Uwian na. Matatapos na ang araw. Di pa rin kami nagpapansinan ni Jayson. Sabe nga daw nila Almendral, aco na lang daw talaga ang hinihintay ni Jayson na pumansin sa kania. Two weeks din kaming no pansin sa isa't isa.
Pero pinangako co sa sarili co na hindi matatapos ang week na ito na hindi kami nakakapag'usap. Kinalabit aco ni Kathie at sinabi ngang kausapin co si Jayson. Di muna kame bumaba, hinihintay pa namen siya. Nung lumabas na siya, lumabas na rin aco.
I gathered all my guts to talk to him. Hinawakan co ang braso niya at sinabeng, "Ui, bati na tayo."
At ang sagot? And ine'expect co: "Baket, di naman kase aco galit sa'yo e. Kulet."
Pero di na ito yung serious na "di aco galit sa'yo" unlike before. It was Jayson's usual way of talking. Good sign.
"E baket di tayo nagpapansinan?"
"Aba.. Di nga aco galit [...]"
Nagbibiro na rin siya. At kami, pinutakte ng asar. Puro "aiyeee...".
"Basta ah, bati na tayo. Bati na tayo ah!" Sabe co kay Jayson.
At paulit-ulit siya na hindi naman daw siya galit sa'ken. Ni'dare pa ni Honey si Jayson na yakapin aco. And to my surprise, he did! At para i'emphasize ang kaliitan co, nag'crouch pa siya para yakapin aco. :))
Niloko co pa nga siya habang naglalakad kame na tungkol sa satus message niya sa YM dati at yung sinabi niya rin dati sa mga classmates co.
Ang pagtitiwala ay isang mahalagang bagay sa buhay ng ito. Dapat itong pakaingatan dahil kapag ito'y nawala, di na ito mababalik pa. Pinapatawad na kita pero hindi na maibabalik pa ang dati kong pakikisalamuha sa iyo. ^^ wengks. ang drama ko.
Nanahimik naman siya tungkol dun. Anu daw yun.
Bati na kami. Bati na kami. Finally. At last. Sana, di magkatotoo yung sinabi niya status message niya. Sana kung anu man yung nasira sa'men e maayos.>
But at least, my depressions has ended. And I'm glad. :)
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