Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy-Sad Things

December 19


STC will gonna sing for the wedding mass today. And I am included with them. Yay! I haven't sung in a wedding mass before, and this is going to be my first. Yay! I've been really wanting to sing in a wedding mass since I got in a choir.

So I am going to sing a duet song with Kuya Paul. I played the song over and over again in YouTube to familiarize myself. I haven't really perfected the song yet. T___T But the song was really awesome. Yesterday, kuya Darwin said he fell in love with the song, and he's sure I'm gonna fall with it too. And I did.

I'm anxious because since day one, they've trusted me pretty much. I mean, they've been giving me "special part" in songs. I am not that good, I know that. I am way to far from what I wanted to be in terms of singing. I don't know if I deserve their trust. And besides, I carry Glee Club's name with me. Pfft. Maybe I am just pressuring myself.

And then, I'm anxious because... well, I'm just new and they've been really kind to me. Mikmik gives me compliments, as well as kuya Darwin. And... It's just bothersome because their aren't like that to other sopranos and altos. Urk. I can't really explain it. But do you get what I mean? I mean, I'm just afraid that I might unintentionally give them a bad impression about me, because I'm just new and I've been receiving compliments. Get that? I don't want them to have the intention that I am a "favorite". And I noticed that I didn't talk that much to the girls. I smile at them whenever my eyes catch theirs, but it was kuya Darwin, kuya Anton, kuya Paul, and Mikmik that I talk often. Gaah, I really find it hard communicating with other girls whose personality weren't same as mine, but I'm really trying.

Then, I'm worried because I might be overwhelmed with them that I might set wrong priorities. Yesterday, I moved our Glee Club practice because of the wedding mass today. I'm afraid I might forget other things, especially the Glee Club. Of course Glee Club would and should always be my first priority when it comes to this, but I am overwhelmed by them. I am afraid my Gle Club members would think that I am neglecting them for this.

Gaah. I'm just too anxious, I know, that I'm making unnecessary worries. This things will pass too, I wish.

Kuya Darwin said that we should be in the church by 2:30pm, but Mama wasn't around yet and Iverie won't have a companion at home. So I brought her with me in the church. While walking on our way to the church, kuya Darwin even texted me to ask where I am. Gah. I'm always late. ;___;

Mikmik wasn't able to attend the mass because he did some errand. Kuya Anton wasn't around. Kuya Paul was a bit late, though he was able to start the mass. Sayang nga e. I want to hear their trio of "Sa'yo Lamang".

I can't still quite get the tune of the song. There were still some notes I couldn't get, and I was a little off-tune. It was a bit okay when we sang it, but... it wasn't what I was expecting from myself. Again. I realized that my voice was really matinis--or maybe it was just the way I'd sung it that time--that the words that came out from my mouth were a bit not understandable. But kuya Darwin said it was okay. Like always. He always said that after my every "special part" on songs, and I don't know if he's just kidding or what.

But I decided to forgive myself. It wasn't awful naman. It was still okay, I was just lost at the end. And besides, I told myself that it is okay to commit mistakes during first times, and forgive yourself after that. Basta, next time would be better. :)

I borrowed kuya Darwin piano sheets so I could xerox them and give them to Jas. Kuya Darwin said sa'kin daw muna since he won't be using it pa. I took Iverie home, then hurriedly went back to school. They were practicing. Sir Bau was there. He seemed not angry anymore.

We went out at 5:30 to eat early dinner at chow3p. May mga pera, palibhasa kakakuha lang ng refund sa ESC. >:3

When we got back, nagpractice ulit kami. Mangangaroling kami mamaya, so we practiced Christmas songs. Naglalandian kami ng Ablay and I climbed on his shoulder. Tsk, ang childish ko talaga. Suddenly, I saw Mr. de Grato coming and he looked at our direction, and I panicked so I hurriedly went down. Eto namang si Ablay, nakalimutan yatang nakasamapa ako sa kanya. Muntik nang sumalpok ang mukha ko sa keyboard! I was literally rolling on the floor with laughter. Haha. Nagagawa ng kaharutan!

We went to the church later on. I barely listen to the mass because Eday and I were talking. Adrian opened up a thing that he had told me months ago. We were even almost crying while he was talking, and I sympathized with him. It was the second time he told me about this stuff, and I still feel the same thing about it. I always pray for him about this. Haay.

After the mass, I texted Mama about the carolling. Di naman na siya nagreply, but I still went on. We walked our way to Elvinda. Dun kasi sila nangaroling last year, and they got pretty much money. While walking, Ayyah and I locked our arms with Eday, and we made an "arc" with our free arm. Of course, it hardly look like an arc because my arms were so short it barely curved above Eday's head. Haha.

We got P500 from a house celebrating a party, and P300 on the house where they had the biggest amount last year. Haha. Then, we passed by Adrian's former adviser when he was in grade 6 kaya pinakain pa kami. Nakakahiya nga kasi pinakain na kami, bingyan pa kami ng P300 yata. All in all, we had PhP1, 476. We had P98 each. Fifteen kasi kami e. Malaki na rin ang nakuha namin. >:3

Anung oras na. It was nearly twelve at nasa Elvinda pa kami. Grabe. I never been out with friends this late. Adrian was worried that we might be scolded by our parents. E gala naman ang lalaking 'yon, at pinapayagan naman siya sa kanila na late nang umuwi. So kanya-kanyang assign ng maghahatid sa iba, lalo na sa mga babae. Si Remo ang maghahatid sa'ming mga taga-bayan. Eday was even like a father; he was telling us to text him as soon as we get home, and explain nicely to our parents.

Hinatid muna namin ni Remo si Jasmin, then si Mau. Then hinatid niya na ako sa'min. The TV was already off, and the door was shut. I opened the door with my key and Remo muttered a "Good evening po!" before leaving. It was exactly 12 o'clock. Grabe. I've never got home this late before. I went straight to bed, with the same clothes I wore throughout the day.

December 20

Upon waking up, I saw Adrian sent a message to me. He said that he cannot sing in Landayan anymore because he is so busy. although I'm a bit sad, I didn't dare to bug him. We had "heart-to-heart" talk yesterday, and eversince I became a non-star, I've been quite shy to bug him much because he's so busy. So I told him I'll just tell it to the STC choir.

Mama didn't got angry when I went home last night, and I thought it was over. It wasn't. She was angry with me the whole day. As in, suuuuper. I just won't tell about it that much, because it's really awful. So I wasn't able to attend the supposedly practice in Landayan for the mass tomorrow, and I gad to endure all of those at our house. >___<

December 21

I woke up early today for the 4am mass in Landayan. Kuya Anton said we should be there by 3am, so I woke up at 1am. It was sooo cold outside, and so dark, and a bit creepy. Last time I went to Landayan at this hour, I was with Eday. And now I'm going alone. I prayed upon boarding the tricycle, and waited for other passengers so I wouldn't be alone.

I thought we're gonna sing in the choir loft. But they were on the same spot we occupied last time. I gave the piano sheets to kuya Darwin and thanked him, and later on, he told us to go to the all-purpose hall upstairs for the vocalization.

Mikmik came later on, and he practiced the Psalm. Kuya Darwin composed a new tune, so this one's new to my ears. And it has high notes too. And Mikmik was really awesome at it. *A* Lalaking-lalaki nga ang boses e, so I was joking with him.

It was Bishop Leo Drona who celebrated the mass. When Mikmik's turn in the Psalm came, everyone was quiet. Grabe talaga. I must be gaping at him the whole time. Suuuuper! *A* I was grinning whenever he looks at our direction, and I fought the urge to clap at the end. GRABE TALAGA! Hanga na naman ako. *A*

He received lost of compliments after mass. When we went at the convent to eat breakfast, everyone was praising him. There was even one old woman who said that his voice is so "mamang-mama" (manly) na. While on the line for food, I whispered to him. "Uuy, mamang-mama (so manly) ka na daw. Baka naman mamang-mama (mother). Haha." XD

I don't know if Mikmik's real "identity" is known at their place. I mean, he acts the same way he acts in school. He has... "slash" friends. I don't know if he's really that already, but he and his family is popular in Landayan. They serve in Church. I think he coudl still be a real man in the future, though, but I'm not quite sure.

Mikmik showed as the... "sacristy" ba tawag dun. Bongga nga e. Handamehng pinto. Bwahaha. Kuya Darwin said that we'll go home together na lang, but we stayed at the Church muna. Joy, an alto (I think) in STC, took my number and I was glad because she seemed nice to me. Then, they (not only Mikmik, or kuya Anton, or kuya Paul only, but the others as well, even the girls) were inviting me to participate in the Christmas presentation (they're practicing and we're watching, btw), but I can't. Goodness, THEY'RE DANCING. And besides, Mama won't allow me to go to Landayan at Christmas eve. >.<

"Hanep ah, inaampon niyo na yata ako dito sa parokya niyo." I joked. But they look nice. I man, they're so active in the Church, and they look really nice. The girls are starting to talk with me too, which is good. And I'm starting to chat with people, and gain new friends.

And I think it's good. I really like it in there.

I asked kuya Darwin what time we're going to go home, and he invited me home na. We bid goodbye with a warm smile on my lips, because I feel comfortable with them already. Sa jeep kami sumakay ni kuya Darwin, so we have to walk on our way. I brought his piano sheets because he had his keyboard with him. We talked about random stuffs. Kuya Darwin was polite and nice, and I find it quite difficult to communicate with those kind of people. I mean, snay ako ng nakikipag-asaran at okrayan e. But we both give efforts to open a conversation everytime we have a chance to, though I was a bit "ilang" with him. Konti lang naman.

We went home, and I was happy. Because I'm beginning to gain new friends, while at the same time, serving Him with the way I love: singing. :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Because Christmas is just a few days away

December 16

Mikmik invited me to sing in their Parish for the Simbang Gabi. Mass will start at 4am but they said that I should be in Landayan at 2:45am because I have to practice my solo, which I haven't perfected yet. But since Eday would be coming with me (because my Mom didn't allow me to travel to Landayan at that wee hour alone), I told them that we would be there at around 3am. Adrian's busy at school, and I didn't want to disturb him that much.

I woke up at 1am, 30 minutes earlier than my alarm. I was texting Eday but I didn't received a single reply. I was even calling him, but he didn't answer his phone.

I went to their house (which is just a few steps away from ours). Their door was still closed. I went inside their compound, and while the dogs were barking at me, I called for him. It was his grandma (I think), who opened the door. I asked her if Adrian was already awake, and then he called Eday and woke him up. Ayun, tulog pa pala siya. He went to the door and muttered a surprised and apologetic, "Ibyang!" with his hair still ruffled. I told him to take a bath already and I'll just wait outside their compound. It was about after 15-20 minutes when he went out and we strode to the tricycle terminal. We were the only passengers and I have to pay 35 pesos. Ako muna yung nagbayad para mapabilis kami.

We looked for the STC (St. Tarcisius' choir; Mikmik's choir). We're not going to sing at the choir loft, sa baba daw kami. They were in front, at the corner. There were seats reserved for us. JanJan was there too.

Kuya Paul was the one who sang the Psalm. So, I sang Simeon's Canticle at the Communion. My solo wasn't... that that I've expected. I mean, it's okay naman, but not what I was expecting from myself. I admit I was a bit disappointed. Naku, kasi e, it was so cold because it was just dawn, plus the aircon inside the church was open, and add the big electric fan which was turned to our direction. So I was sucking all the air and mouth was getting dry.

Of course, I know I shouldn't be blaming other things. Okay na din naman yung kanta. I just promised myself that I'm going to sing it better the next I have the chance.

We ate breakfast at the convent. Kuya Darwin was telling that next time, he wants a girl to sing the Psalm, and then, he's looking at me. I cast my eyes down. The heck. I don't like to sing the Psalm. Not until I am good enough to do it.

We rode a tricycle back to school. Maye's mother payed our fare. Haha.

Ang aga ko tuloy pumasok ngayon. Exam was okay. Math was a bit easy (haha. yabang!), through I was a bit confused at the last part.

December 17

Last day of classes for 2009. We didn't have a Christmas party. Because we're in a Catholic school, we're expected to be one of our brothers who had been affected by the typhoons. So Advent Mass lang ngayon, and other sections will just have simple party. Kami, wala. We're the only section in fourth year who wouldn't even have a simple Christmas party. Blame our ugh adviser. :(

I woke up at around 1am again and made our thesis for only about less than two hours. It wasn't still complete though. I attended the second Simbang Gabi with Louis. We saw Cha after mass. It was only 5:30 when the mass ended. We waited at the gate of Liceo, which wasn't still opened. Later, Kuya Guard let us in. Naawa yata sa'min. XD

We ate puto bumbong at plaza. I don't usually eat puto bumbong, unless someone invited me to. The first time I can remember that I ate it was last year, after the Simbang Gabi where we were the choir. It happened to be Eday's birthday too.

And I realized now that I tasted good. Yum yum! :)

I went home for a while to get my reindeer headband (which I got from Koleen). The six of us were supposed to wear that today, but Koleen wouldn't go to school today, kaya wala din. But I took it, still.

Louis and I, together with Alexa, waited for Jette and Steni at the gate. Alexa wore my reindeer headband. Haha. We waited for them for about an hour; it was almost 7am when they came.

I was still trying to finish the thesis. Dammit, our English teacher didn't even teach us how to do it. I bet other teachers would be laughing at us when they saw the theses our class made, because we just "invented" our own way to do it. DX

I went to Lea's classroom because she said she will give something from me. A Christmas gift! Yay! And guess what was it? A shirt! A yellow shirt (in case you didn't know yet, I hate the color yellow). She said she gave a red shorts to Adrian too (Adrian has "phobia" in red clothes, that's why he doesn't wear them). Naunahan niya nga ako e. I was planning to give him a red shirt on his birthday.

Even it was yellow, I really appreciate Lea's gift. Really. I think I'll wear it when I went to Eday's new house at Langgam on his birthday because I was planning to surprise him. :)

After a few minutes, I received a message from Eday telling that they were in the church already. Dalawa pala ang misa. So Ayyah and I hurriedly went to church. Good thing it wasn't starting yet.

I asked Ayyah to correct our thesis. I was planning to ask Mr. Luna to be our thesis adviser. I just can't approach him because he's really... intimidating. He seemed to held his head high whenever he walks. Pero kalog naman siya pag kami-kami. Kaso nahihiya talaga ako e.

So we had two masses. Arbu and I were the only one who sang the new recessional song because the others didn't know it, but I taught it to them so we all sang at the second mass.

After the mass, Sir Bautista indirectly scolded me about the Simbang Gabi. I agreed to Ate Beth that we will sing for the December 23 4am dawn mass kasi. Mr. Bau's voice was stern and I had to fight back the tears. Kasi, ayaw din siguro niyang tumugtog sa'min. I can notice it.

He went down after that and I talked to my members. JanJan, Sir's son, who told me it was okay to sing at the Simbang Gabi, was now telling me to cancel it. Of course I couldn't cancel it, because I've already agreed on it. On the other hand, before I agree on it, I asked them if they could come and they said yes. Tapos ngayon sinasabi nilang ipa-cancel na lang.

I'm close to tears. But at the back of my mind, I told myself that I wouldn't cancel it. Paninindigan ko to.

I talked to them as calmly as possible, and the tears just rolled down. I told them that we're not merely singers, but we serve to. That's our purpose in being a choir right? To serve Him through our voices. And as the president of the Glee Club, I wanted us to participate in the Church. I was always being scolded by the Music Ministry President during meetings because we barely participate in Church activities.

The former presidents had always been doing what Sir Bau says. I mean, the choir hardly changed since first year. We remained the way we were. And as this school year's president, I wanted to be the change. No kidding. I may sound corny, but I told them that. I've been trying to do changes. I'm trying to teach new songs, and attend meetings even I always got scolded. Because I wanted to do and leave something good to the Glee Club before I graduate. Before I leave. I don't want to be a president who just follow what our coordinator says; I wanted to take the initiative.

I told them that if they joined this club to earn extra-curricular grades, I'm not. I joined because I wanted to serve the Church. I wanted to serve Him. I told them that it's just one sacrifice we can do to him. To wake up early to sing for Him, no matter how far our houses were, or even there won't be public vehicles at that hour. If He sacrificed for us, why can't we? Birthday gift man lang namin sa Kanya.

I said all of it. I know I'm being corny, but I also know that what I'm saying is true. I know I may sound like a preaching priest, or a political candidate asking for votes, but I'm just saying what I feel. Gladly, they seemed to be... moved. Haha. I smiled at my corniness, and ask them who can come. The number grew, and we went down. And I was happy. I hope they'll really attend the dawn mass at December 23. :)

Uwian na pagkabalik ko sa school. Well, yung section lang namin, kasi wala naman kaming party. Karen gave me a gift and I warmly thanked her. It was a coin purse. Haha.

I went to Gregory's room and told Mikmik that I could probably come tomorrow for the mass. Mr. Luna told me that there is a mass for the APTA at 3pm later. He seemed approachable so I asked him if he could be our thesis adviser.

"Naku, ang dami ko nang hawak." He told me. I pouted a little. "Pero bigay mo na lang sa'kin mamaya."

I beamed and told him I'll just put it in his table later.

Catherine was inviting me to go with them at Festi, but I told them I can't. Magco-choir pa kami mamaya e. So I went home and slept and did our thesis. When I got back to school, magsisimula na ang mass. Puro Basil nga lang e, who just came from their "shooting" for their Arts project. Walang Peter, nasa party. Sabi nila makaka-attend sila.

Nag-stay pa ako sa school after mass because I need to get Koleen's USB from Mrs. Cacao, and have my TLE project checked. I placed our thesis at Mr. Luna's table. Kulang pa nga yun kasi wala yung history ng Liceo. Wala, revised din yun. Haha.

Basil was making their advertisement. Ang kulit nga e. We didn't ate after mass dahil nga sa advertisement nila, but Ayyah's mother brought food for us. I even talked to her mom and asked her to allow Ayyah to sing on 23. She agreed, and Ayyah was so happy.

I went home after I got Koleen's USB and had my project checked, and greeted the teachers a merry Christmas. Hay, next year ko na ulit sila makikita.

December 18

Dang, I wasn't able to wake up for the Simbang Gabi. 6am na ko nagising. Wala na, di ko na kumpleto.

Mama allowed me to sing in Landayan for the 3pm mass. Hindi rin naman siguro counted sa "Simbang Gabi" kahit magsimba pa ako ngayon.

Eday wasn't with me because they moved to Langgam today. I texted JanJan but I doubt if he received it. So after I got my ESC scholarship paper at the registrar, I went alone to Landayan. I was a bit early. Mikmik said that I'm gonna sing tomorrow for the wedding mass at 3pm in Bayan. Duet daw kami ni JanJan.

I told him that we're gonna have practice tomorrow in Glee Club at 3pm. But I wanted to sing for the wedding mass too. I haven't sing for a wedding before. So after contemplating about it, and consulted Arsie, I moved the practice to 4pm. Tutal 7pm pa naman ang mass.

"Naku, bigay kayo ng bigay sa'kin ng mga kanta e." I mildly complained. Though I like it naman. I mean, I wanted to serve, and I like what I am doing, so it's okay. Kaso, syempre, baka kasi may masabi yung ibang mga members na babae. Okay naman sila Kuya Paul (their President), and Kuya Anton, but I wasn't that close with the girls (like always).

Kuya Darwin made me sing Simeon's Canticle at one part of the mass. I'm glad I was able to sing it well now. Haha.

After that, we had practice for the wedding mass tomorrow. Di dumating si JanJan, so si kuya Paul yung kaduet ko. His voice is so good, so manly, pero... tagilid kasi yun e. Haha.

Mikmik, Kuya Anton, and Kuya Paul sang "Sa'yo Lamang". "Masterpiece" daw nila yun. Grabe. While they were singing, I was having goosebumps. They repeated the chorus for 8 times, and each time they repeat, kuya Darwin transpose the notes higher. GRAAABEEE talaga. I was close to tears. I mean, sa sobrang ganda ng pagkakakanta nila, kikilabutan ka talaga. Grabe, I was squeal. SUPEEEER!

It was dark when we decided to go home. Sabay kaming umuwi ng Kuya Darwin and we talked about random things about the choir on our way. I bet Nicakim is dying to be in my place. >:D




6 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!~ YAY

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'll move. Really.

I'll be moving to Wordpress. Really. This is my final decision.





...I think.


The other day, Mama scolded me again (there is nothing new since this always happen). Whenever she scold me about being so busy I can barely help at home (which is true), she always include that, "Buti pa yung blog mo naa-update mo. Blah. Blah. Blah." She said that again the last time she scolded me again. And she mentioned my blog again. And then... she said something about the things I posted in blog.

Which means only one thing: She's actually reading THIS blog. Dammit.

You may wonder why I am making such fuzz about this matter. Gawsh, I don't want my mom to know stuffs like this. I guess you know what I mean.

But this night, I learned about Ariane's new blog, and saw her awesome layout. I visited other blogs too. And seeing those customizable layouts... made me have second thoughts again. DX I was really resolved to move to Wordpress, until tonight. Gawd. I am really tempted to stay in Blogger.

But I need to move to Wordpress. I should move to Wordpress. You see, I'm craving for little privacy lately.

I don't know. Maybe I'll try using Wordpress first, and if I'm not happy with it, I'll go back to Blogger again.


I don't know who am I convincing with this post, the readers or myself? Hahaha. LOL.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Me ish feeling awesome

I sang in Sto. Sepulcro Church in Landayan today for the 3pm mass. Mikmik was inviting me a long time ago because they're lacking soprano due to the storms that passed the country. Inanod daw ng baha mga members nila. LOL.

I found time to sing today. I really wanted to be a member of a real church-choir (since the Glee Club is just a school choir). Sabi ni Mik susunduin niya daw ako sa Kodak ng 2PM sharp, kaso nalate ako ng ilang minutes. We saw kuya Darwin and we rode a tricycle to Landayan. Yes, Mikmik payed my fare. Haha.

While on the tricycle, nagkwentuhan kami ni Mik, mostly about Sir Luna. Tapos binaba lang halos namin yung keyboard na dala ni kuya Darwin sa bahay nila, then we went to the Church. Sosyal nga e, de aircon. We went up to the choirbox through the frightening spiral staircase. At bongga ang choirbox nila, ang laki! May mga pews pa. Wala lang, nabonggahan lang ako kasi di ganun yung choirbox sa bayan e.

Di ako kumanta sa ibang kanta dahil hindi ko alam yun. Pero pag alam ko, sumasabay ako. Medyo naiilang pa akong lakasan yung boses ko kasi ang hina kumanta ng mga babae (halos 3 lang kami), sapaw nga ng mga boys. E baka sabihin naman nananapaw ako. Pero pinalapit pa ako ni Kuya Darwin sa mic e. Mikmik told me after mass na ganun daw talaga ang mga girls nila, nabulong, so okay lang na medyo lakasan ko.

Pinad-merienda pa kami sa may kumbento after mass. Sosyal. Ganun daw talaga dun. Tapos nagpractice kami sa may multi-purpose hall sa third floor. Dumating na rin si Bau at tinanong ako tungkol sa Liceo night dahil nga dapat ampon din siya ng Basil. Nagkukwentuhan pa nga sila ni kuya Dar na dapat sila nanalo. Bah, pinagtanggol ko ang Basil ah!

Santo at Balang araw yung pinractice namin. Galing nung boys nila. Pero nahihirapan talaga yung girls. I feel awesome because I received unspoken compliments from them. Pano daw kasi, dati, soprano ang nasasapawan ng boys, pero ngayon, sapaw na daw ng soprano. Dalawa lang kami e. Haha. Tapos umuwi pa yung isang soprano nung nagpapractice na ng Balang Araw, ako na lang. Super taas pa ng nota, buti nasa kondisyon ang boses ko at abot ko. Haha.

Na-excite tuloy akong kumanta sa Simbang Gabi nila sa 16. Dapat umattend si Eday dahil sabi ni Mama, di niya daw ako papapuntahin kung hindi ako susunduin ni Eday. The heck.

--

Next time na yung post ko about sa birthday ko and Liceo night. Pagod na ko e.

Monday, December 7, 2009

A Day Before

I was still anxious. I still didn't want to have my birthday yet.

No. I wasn't about the age matter. I'm kinda happy with me being sixteen and accepted it. I'm actually referring myself as a sixteen-year-old a month before this. Maybe I still don't want to be sixteen, being someone who want to be frozen to thirteen forever, but I'm kinda okay with it nao.

Visitors would be coming tomorrow. I invited many. I don't know if they could come.

I invited my classmates, then Stevenson, then Basil, and probably my choirmates in Peter.

If they would really ALL come... wala, sabog ang bahay namin. Our house is kinda small; they might not all fit it.

Second, baka di kasya yung handa. I want it to be last year in which the food for 40 people was all eaten by 14 visitors. Taob.

Then, some of my non-star friends where naiilang because there would be people from other section, like Basil. Star and non-star visitors worked out last year, I hope it'll work out again this year.

And I am anxious that my sweet sixteenth birthday won't be as awesome as I thought.

I'm worried about the important people, my close friends. Eday and Ablay would be going to PUP Sta. Mesa for their college application tomorrow, as well as Charlene and Kathy. Sabi nila, ta-try daw nila humabol. Try.

Tapos nag-iinarte pa si Jette at Jayson na hindi pupunta.

Tapos may practice ba Glee Club bukas. It's a good thing na walang pasok bukas. Sabi kasi meron daw. E feast day of Immaculate Conception e, day of obligation, dapat wala. And it would seem as an ordinary day kung meron..

Then, there was my dream few weeks ago. I dreamed that only Koleen, Cha, Julienne, and a guy I didn't remember came. I was trying to call Ayyah and Lea in the dream but the phone was broken. Then I remember Ayyah was out doing something.. and I woke up. >________<

Haaaay, I hope things will turn out well, and I'm just making unnecessary worries.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Countdown

December 2, Wednesday

I was annoyed with my classmates in the morning. I was sort of okay in the afternoon. We had our experiments for our Physics project. When we were starting to launch our water rockets, Mr. Suinan noticed that Dizon was playing. She demanded us to stop and we headed to our classroom. Wala kaming grade sa Physics!

I invited my friends over on Tuesday for the celebration. May pasok daw sa Tuesday. Day of obligation yun, dapat wala! Mou.

Six days before the sixteenth year and I was anxious.

December 3, Thursday

Today was fine. Mrs. Suinan gave us a second chance for the water rocket. Yey!

Five days before the sixteenth year.

December 4, Friday

Songfest finals. I was cheering for the Basil. I went back to school at 1pm to watch. Category B was the real match, especially between Basil and Peter. And cute nung kanta ng Basil: Isang Linggong Pag-ibig. Adrian was the conductor. They won.

Wala kaming Physics. We were joking with Mrs. Suinan, who was Basil's adviser. Wala. Bangag ako ngayon. XD

Four days before the sixteenth year and I feel awesome. :D

December 5, Saturday

I was supposed to go to Landayan so I could practice with Mikmik's choir. Kinukuha niya kasi akong kumanta sa kanila sa simbang gabi. I texted kuya Darwin, who was their choirmaster, about it. Di daw pala tuloy ng umaga, 1PM pa. E 1PM din yung practice namin sa Glee Club. Of course, Glee Club is my priority.

It was Arsie's birthday tomorrow, so she treated us in 7-eleven. I was texting with Iori-kun when I got home. Suddenly, there was some "unknown" texter who send me a message, saying he's Mr. X and he's my admirer. The heck. Nahalata ko na si Iori din yun. Haha.

Three days before the sixteenth year.

December 6, Sunday

Happy birthday Arsie and Sir Payawal!

Two days before the sixteenth year. Now wut?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

December

First day of December!


Christmas is fast approaching!


And seven days to go before the sixteenth year! :D *shot*

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Recollection Day

Yesterday, we had our recollection. I wore my lolita shoes and everyone's like wow-ing with it. Haha. >:)

This year's recollection wasn't that awesome; there was no crying and stuffs unlike in the past year. I was wishing that Bro. Edo, our Junior Glee Club adviser who is now in Liceo de Calamba, to be the one to "talk" to us, but it was Bro. Baldemor instead.

We were bored the whole day. As usual, the class was formed into "groups". There are six "groups" in our class, for me. Karen's group, Jorvina's, Eirish's, Cha's, the boys' group, and our group (which is me, Jette, Steni, Koleen, and Jayson).

Because we were bored and really getting sleepy, we did nonsense and stupid things. We barely listen to Bro. Baldemor. Haha. We're baaad. >:P

The only "highlight" to the recollection was the message for the classmates. And it turned out to be like an open forum. Nicakim and Ruiz cried. The kept irritation to one another was said. We lacked cooperation and unity, I noticed. In class activities, they just rely on somebody and won't exert effort. Bahala na. We do things on the last minute. And we won't listen to each other. Mapuputol na lang ang litid mo kakasaway, pero walang mananahimik.

And then, there was the "groupings". I told you our class was composed of groups. It is not really bad to have a group where you belong, but what's ugly with it is we don't mingle with the others. We stay on our group, and that's the root of lack of cooperation. Because we don't open up with the others.

Our "group" was mentioned two times. We don't mingle with the others, they say. I don't know. For me, we talk and laugh with the others as well. Except for Eirish's and Jorvina's group, because... I don't feel like talking to them that much. They have... attitudes, and they're personalities don't fit mine. And you cannot force me to talk and mingle with the people whose personalities don't click with mine.

There was not a single day in the class that no one bitched out with the other. Everyday's always a laughing day, but beneath it all, somebody would always say something bad with each other. I witness it. Even I do some bitching too.

There were some people in the class that I sort of pity. There were some of my classmates that were always... hated and dislike and bullied.

We said sorry to each other afterwards. If I were to be asked, I would like a real open forum so things would be cleared up. I know there would still be bitches and jerks after this. I know it. It's not over. We'll just be back to our old selves again.

After the recollection, we had mass. I was the only choir in there since the first four section had their recollection last week. So I sang in solo. It was okay, except that I sang the offertory song instead the Kordero.

Me: "Bawat huni ng ibon, sa pagdampi--"
Bro. Baldemor: *whispers* Kordero, kordero..
Me: *startled a bit *"Kordero ng Diyos na nag-aalis.."

LOL. I was grinning with myself while singing. But honestly, I didn't feel nervous or embarrassed. Just a little amused with myself. Yan ang nagagawa ng makapal ang mukha! XD

We went to the Main Building afterwards. I immediately looked for the Glee Club. I found them in the Music room and they were only a few of them. And there were only few of them. They just started practicing, and they only practiced one song. I was really irked. The Basil told me they couldn't attend the morning practice because they'll have to practice for Songfest. Bau said the Peter went to a birthday party.

They went on singing some other unnecessary song. I was telling them we have enough time to learn the recessional song but they told me to just sing it next Saturday. Mr. Bautista wasn't around either.

I feel really, really annoyed. I was starting to have a long face. When we were about to go to the church, the others went on and I waited for Ayyah to but snacks. And I was telling her how annoyed I am. And then, stupid tears started to streak on my cheeks.

I was so annoyed. I am so annoyed with the my classmates, with the choir, with my friends, with every people around me. I know it's stupid to be annoyed like that, but I can't help it. It seemed that I always give efforts, doing everything to do my best in everything, and yet people don't appreciate a thing. People rely on me, making me do all the work, but they get the credits afterwards.

I am annoyed with my classmate because they don't cooperate. In activities, they share with my grades that I've worked on. I couldn't just lie down because I want the best, but I couldn't get anything from these people. But in the end, when things turned out wrong, I get all the blame. I would hear hurtful things. I was the wrong one, the stupid one.

I am annoyed with the Glee Club because they seem to join the choir to be excused from class. Para magpasikat sa iba. But I couldn't feel that we're serving. They, or we (I would include myself here), attend the mass so they could be exempted from their household duties. But who are we serving in here? It is all for Him, for HIM. But I bet he doesn't feel the love and the passion in our songs at all.

I am annoyed with myself because I was too plain stupid. For doing all these. For not being able to be like them who just sit and let things the way there are. For giving and giving despite all the pain it cause me.

It was really a recollection day. Because I realize how people treat me, how I treat myself. We're all bitches and jerks, I know, and those bitches and jerks continue to destroy each other.

Friday, November 20, 2009

I Am In Love ♥

I am in love.

And it was love at first sight.

I saw "him" in Robinson's Department Store at Festival Mall last Sunday, November 15. I was bored and preoccupied by some nonsense things, when I saw him, and... and it was like... magic.

At that instant that I saw him, I knew he is the one. I knew it. I could feel it. He was the "man of my dreams", he was the one I am wishing and waiting for.

I continued to gaze at him, my eyes filled with awe and affection. I could've been drooling over him. I was squealing, and I knew I shouldn't let him go.

He was... perfect. Well, not entirely perfect. He has some setbacks. But still, I love him. I could feel it. I knew he was the "one".

He will be mine. He should be mine. I was still looking at him intently him when it's time to walk away, but I knew we were meant to be.

Making a hasty decision that I won't regret, I made up my mind. I touched him with reverence and affection, and immediately took him home.

Haaay, it feels good to be in love. :)





My new love. <3

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Blog Dilemma

I told you I'm going to move to a new blog on 2010. I said that I would stick on Blogger. But now, I'm thinking about moving to Wordpress instead.

I still love Blogger; there's no question to that. But there are times when I really having second thoughts on posting certain stuffs because they're… personal. And here in Blogger, you cannot choose which posts could be published in public and in private. Whereas in Wordpress, I could password-protect posts that I don't want everyone to see. Livejournal has this Friends Only but I don't want LJ.

But look, Blogger is more… "customizable". I mean, I'm more free to pick the layout I want and customize it. Wordpress themes are limited, but they're "clean" though.

I was looking for ways to password-protect posts in Blogger. I've found one, though I haven't tried it yet. But what if--just what if--it doesn't work? Should I stick to Blogger? Or move to Worpress instead? Or stick to Blogger and just put the link to Wordpress in my post so it's still password-protected? But won't it be too… "magulo" for the readers?

Urk. So what? Would I choose Blogger or Wordpress? I wanna hear your opinion guys!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Halloween Party

I know this is an already late post. My cousins are bugging me to blog about this because they know I have a blog, so.. yeah. ;)

Semestral break was actually boring for me--as I've expected--though it was not that dreadful because I really need a rest. Schoolworks are slowly killing me, and my body's always too exhausted.

So my days were monotonous and repetitive. It just became different when my sister and I visited our Lola on Thursday (Oct. 29) and we stayed there until Friday.

I went straight home after serving the mass on Saturday. Ate Joyce, my cousin in my mother's side, was in the house when I got home. Well, they told me that we'll have a little "Halloween Party". She even had this witch costume. Urk. I didn't prepare one. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na magko-costume pala. *shot*

So after waiting for Kuya Rjay's girlfriend, we went to St. Joseph. My other cousins came too after a while. Ate Shiela, Ninang Girl, and kuya Robin was there, as well as his friend, Kuya Ayel. He was the one who facepaint-ed them. Well, they were telling me to have a facepaint too, but I was shy to ask Kuya Ayel. So I was the one who applied make-up to myself.

We drank. Drank. Matador. Yeah, I drink. Well, during times like this only. I only drink with my cousins; I don't drink with my friends. Lol.

Look at the nails, dude! They're strawberry!

I don't know what am I supposed to look like--a doll... or a geisha? Lol, haha! XD


Ate Shiela, the... goddess?

Ate [witchy] Joyce


Yra, my pamangkin-slash-inaanak. He look adowable here. =3

Ate Joyce, Kuya Ayel, Kuya Robin, and Ate Niña


Ate Joyce, me, Ate Niña, and Ate Shiela. The seductive beauties! (I still look like a "nene", though 8D)

Crazy fellows. I was holding the Matador! Haha!

This picture cannot be explained.

Because of my strawberry-painted nails, they nicknamed me "Strawberry". Lol. We stayed there until Monday morning. Though there was only six of us, we really had fun-fun!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Working on a new blog

Yeah, I'm working on a new blog here on Blogger. This blog's anniversary is getting nearer, and I wanted to have a new blog as soon as 2010 starts. I could've let go of this one, but I guess I should wait for it to turn one year.

I've already made a new account here in blogger. I'm still thinking of the name for the blog so the URL is still temporary. I'm on a blogskin-hunt.

I would want a layout with the sidebar on the left, and navigations for my profile. Haha. And with header, too, so I could edit it and put the header I am working on. I would like a clean and simple one, but I could find any, so I was temporarily working on a pink one. Haha. But I'm still on a hunt, though.

So, in more than a month, it would be a bye-bye blog. /sob

But this would be better, I want a new start. ;)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

This is definitely not my day

I knew from the beginning that there would be something wrong this day. I felt it, I felt it the instant that I woke up.

Saturday. I woke up early because we have a choir practice at 8AM for "Harana ni Maria". That's a presentation of every choir in our parish later at 7PM. I sent GM to my contacts and reminded the Glee Club about our practice, and I got to text with Eday and Arsie while washing the dishes.

I was kinda late for the practice because of texting. It was already 8:15 when I reached school. They were still few, though. The CAT officers were at the school quadrangle for the training and I immediately gave the garrison belt buckle to Lea that I borrowed to her when I had our CAT class.

When I saw Jette, he instantly pointed to Steni. Having a low pick-up, I wondered why he was doing that. Then I remembered about Jayson's Visual Basic CD (he asked for a burned copy from our Computer teacher) that Steni borrowed. Sabi co kasi, ipahiram niya na agad kay Jette yung CD para ngayong sabado, ako na yung makakakuha kasi hindi naman na kami magkikita ng sembreak. Kinukulit co nga sila dun e.

Steni smiled--a sheepish smile--and then ran away. I chase after her (LOL. My small limbs versus her long ones). Naabutan co siya at nacorner, at sinabi niya nakalimutan niyang wala sa kanya ang CD dalhin.

"Tanong mo pa kay Jette!"

"Kasabwat mo siya e!" I accused her jokingly. Trip na kasi namin ang "um-acting", at baka nanti-trip na naman siya.

"Hindi. Pramis! Di aco na-acting ngayon."

Matapos siyang kulit-kulitin, tinantanan co na rin si Steni, pero pabiro pa rin akong nagpaparinig.

At habang naghihintay sa ibang choir, nagkukwentuhan kami. Hanggang ang kwentuhan ay nauwi sa asaran at okrayan. I wasn't really feeling good for teasing, so just shut my mouth and occasionally grin whenever I need to.

The others came. Lea told me that they would just eat merienda. She even invited me with them but I refuse because they were all CAT officers and I might not catch up with them. After some time, when my choirmates finished buying and eating their food, I told them that we'll practice. Vocalization, kaysa naman nakatunganga lang kami dahil wala pa si Sir.

So I initiate the vocalization. I wasn't really feeling good. Well, not physically, but it's just I seemed to be not in the mood. I pointed the Tenor (which was Arbu and Eday) for a part of vocalization, and the note seemed to be too high for them. Their voice faltered, then they laugh. I wasn't in the mood to laugh with them. I made them repeat it, and then they laughed again. Most especially Eday. And I knew I was loosing it. I'm close to my boiling point.

They seemed to notice it too, for everyone kept quiet. Well, almost everyone. Adrian was still erupting into silent giggles.

"Ano ba yan?" I said in a stern voice, in the most calm voice I could manage that time. "Ulit." I told them. When it was tenor's part again, nagtawanan na naman sila.

I shut my mouth up. I stared blankly at nothing. I could feel it, I could feel the annoyance building up inside me. The anger. The anger for them and for myself. Through my silence, they tried getting the note again, but I know they're not serious. Adrian's still giggling. I heard Remo said, "Tama na, Eday."

"Magaling na ba kayo?" I said, my jaws clencing. "Magaling na ba kayo?!" The girls muttered a low "hindi".

"Akala niyo kasi ang gagaling niyo na eh! Tawanan ng tawanan, di bale sana kung magaganda ang boses. Yan ang mahirao sa inyo e, wala kayong respeto." I said something more, and I couldn't help the tears. Shit. That really made me annoyed to myself. I hate crying in this kind of occasion. I hate crying when I am the "authority" because I seem to be... weak. Because it seems that I could handle these kind of things. I really hate it. Pero wala, mababaw talaga ang luha ko. I cannot hold it back.

"Bastos!" I yelled angrily before more tears could come, and turned back at them to walk away. The first place I went is PEAC. This has always been my refuge, my sanctuary.

I maybe made a fuzz over nothing. That was maybe a really little thing. But for me, it's not. It's a big deal. Because Eday was involved. My friends were involved. The people I love and cherish and regarded as important. I just cannot accept that the people I love were the ones who hurt me, the people I cherish were disrespect me.

Everything's just too unfair! Sa SSG, sa Gatekeeper, I know everyone look down at me. Everyone regarded me as the "weakest link". "Walang silbi", someone jokingly told me one time. For them, I'm just a shitass loser.

But haven't I proven myself yet? Haven't I done all the things that I could do? Were my efforts not enough? Dammit. If they don't want me, I don't want them either!

Bebe texted me, saying sorry several times. I went back home. Siguro pa-epal lang talaga aco, but I was waiting for them to apologize. Especially Eday. They could easily reach me; they could text me or go to my house. Pero wala. Which means patigasan kami. Bahala sila.

Pero hindi ako nakatiis. I texted Lea to ask what they are doing. Nandun na daw si Sir Bautista and their practicing. Darn.

Pinadaan co si Ayyah sa bahay so we could come to school together. I was wearing a serious face when I got there. May bago ngang kanta, and I didn't know it. I didn't care to ask. Hindi co sila pinapansin, tutal hindi rin naman nila ako pinapansin. Alde was the first one to talk to me, pero hindi rin ako masyadong nagsasalita. Mr. Bautista asked me why I wasn't around in the morning, and I told him that I had been in school, but I went home.

Darn. I wanted to swear.

Medyo um-okay na ako maya-maya. Pero di pa rin ako masyadong namamansin. We were late for the mass because we practiced pa. Wala tuloy opening mass. Hindi dun sa usual na pwesto umupo sila Eday at Remo, which is just beside me. They sat on the other corner. Hn.

We went back to school after mass. My head was aching. We were given sandwiches, merienda daw namin. Galing yata kay Ms. Rasdas. We went back to church at 7pm.

I noticed that Remo wasn't talking to me too. Si Eday, we're ignoring each other pa rin. I was just worried because since Eday was involved, Ginnique would be involved too. And my other affiliations as well, which are mostly the same as Eday's. So great, everything's ruined.

Pero pinansin ako ni Remo nung may pinapasabi sa'kin. Which is a good sign.

Kinabahan kami nung kumanta yung unang choir. Sheda, ang galing. Nung turn na namin, may mga sablay. It wasn't that good. But it wasn't that shameful either. I jokingly told them that if we failed at this, I won't attend in any meeting in the Music Ministry na. Pero makaka-aattend pa naman ako. :)

I was surprised when the next choir started to sing and my choirmates suddenly stood up. I thought na pinapauwi na kami ni Sir. Kakain lang daw pala dun sa may Parish Hall. Nainis ako. Bakit nung kami naman ang kumakanta, wala naman biglang umalis ah. At isang batalyon pa kaming nagtayuan. I stayed, with Ayyah and Mae. We finished the song.

Naiinis ako. Ayan ang problema sa choir e. Mga walang respeto! Imagine, kami kaya ang ganunin, for sure maiinis kaming lahat. At umalis sila dahil sa pagkain! Samantalang walang ibang choir na gumawa nun. Di bale sana kung napakakagaling namin e. Napaghahalataang mga PG!

When the song ended, I approached my choirmates. I was really annoyed. At sinermunan co sila. They tried to reason out, and they said Sir Bau was the one who told them to go. Para namang walang mga utak, nasan kaya mga manners nila! Naturingang galing kami sa Catholic school. But when Sir Bau was the one who talked to me, napilitan akong mag-okay. Gaah.

Hindi na ako nag-merienda. Lamunin nila yon. Ayyah and I went back to church and I out of the sudden, I ranted. Nagsabi talaga ako ng mga sama ng loob ko. And I cried. After that, I felt better. Bahala na sila sa buhay nila. Bakit ko ipagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa mga taong ayaw naman sa'kin? I was blinded by my love for those people because they're important to me, but they're hurting me over and over again. If they don't want me, fine! May mga tao naman na handang tanggapin kung sino at ano ako. My world doesn't revolve around them anymore. They're still important to me, I admit, pero dapat siguro na magising na ako. Parati na lang ako ang kawawa sa kanila, maybe it's time to let go of the things that are hurting you already.

When I went back home, mugto pa rin mata co. And I realize that bangs are really helpful. XD

It's been a while!

I MISSSHHUUU BLOG!!

I MISSSHHUUU ONLINE WORLD!!

I MISSSHHUU I:U!!!


Yeah. Those words deserve to be capslock-ed and bold-ed. I've been out for so long and my last proper post was on October 2. Tsk. That's such a long time, ne? Well, for me.

I now understand what the word "busy" really means. I'm really, really busy in school. There are a lots of activities, and as a non-star, it was unusual to have such many activities to do in such a number of organizations. And I was one of those unusual cases. I didn't know why I am in such place--maybe I was a former star or what--but really, I have lots of activities.

So, even I disapprove having school breaks, I think that somehow, sembreak is heaven because I have time to unwind and from school.

And since it is our sembreak, I will be blogging things that happened to me lately. That includes our field trip, presscon, and a lot more. Haha.

Off to blog nao.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Busy

I am really so busy this past weeks that I wasn't able to blog properly. We're going on a Division Pressconference in Nagcarlan, Laguna tomorrow until Friday (Oct. 14-16), so I won't be online for three days.

Wish us luck! I would be under Feature Writing English Category. I hope we will win. Ayyah is also in the competition.

At ayon, super excused tuloy ako. Hay.

I might blog the things that happened to me lately after presscon. Super busy lang talaga. Grabe.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Grades and Headaches

Cards' Giving Day

Thursday (October 1) was our not-so-expected cards' giving day. It was supposedly on Monday, but since classes was suspended, it was moved.

It wasn't that exciting or dreadful. I mean, we didn't really expect that our cards would be given that day, so we have no time to be excited or to dread.

The Top 10 honors of the star sections were announced before our cards were given. Adrian wasn't around because of TOBS and because Dizon always saying he is Adrian's "twin", Mrs. Suinan jokingly called him to be Eday's proxy. We were all laughing over that loudly that I got a special mention from Sir Cejero over the microphone. Ugh. Palibhasa ako yung kitang-kita kaya ako lang ang nasita e. @_@

After the announcement of the star sections' top 10, we back to our room. After some minutes of waiting, Mr. Dela Torre distributed our card. Really, I wasn't that nervous, just a little anxious about my grades, especially in Math and Physics.

Almost everyone got a low grade in English. Well, it was expected, because Mrs. Lopena was really mad with us at the first quarter (though I must say she’s changing, huh? Ü). Jette and Jayson’s grades were okay, as well as Steni’s. So when my turn came to get my card, I didn’t look at it right away and waited until I reached my seat. When I finally looked at it, I flashed a grin because I got somewhat good grades. My lowest was EP (84), and I was contented with the rest.

Until Jayson borrowed my card to look at the grades. And he said that my Physics was 81. 81!? WTF!? I though he was joking or what so I immediately grabbed my report card from him. And the grade I saw in my Physics really weakened me.

Science: 81

Really, I didn’t know what I happened on my grade in Physics. My monthly exam was okay; I think I was the highest or one of the highest on that. And although I didn’t get high score in my quarterly exam, it wasn’t that low either. I always recite too, and my quizzes were, well, okay. The only setback was my notebook, which I passed late, and my seatworks (I think), which I barely seriously do.

Wala, break the record ako. Last year, I got my lowest ever since I started schooling, and that was in my Geometry under Ms. Macasaddu. 82. Now, I got an even lower grade than that. Physics: 81.

Pero hindi naman ako ganun “nagdamdam” dun. I mean, Mrs. Suinan is really an awesome teacher. Really, she’s one of my favorites. And I know that the grade she had given to me was the grade she thinks that I deserve. Kung siguro e hindi siya magaling magturo o mainit ang ulo niya sa’kin, magrereklamo pa ako. Pero wala naman akong maiaangal sa kanya. I learned many things from her, and she treats me nicely. Sabi ko nga, okay lang yun. Kasi, aanhin ko naman ang mataas na grade na alam ko naman wala akong natutunan di ba?

So, this was my grade for the First Quarter:

Religion IV: 91
Filipino IV: 89
English IV: 87
Mathematics: 87
Science IV: 81
MAKABAYAN: 88
AP IV: 87
TLE IV: 89
MAPEH: 90
EP IV: 84
CAT: Passed
Computer IV: 88

It wasn’t that high. I got only two line of 9. T_T I was surprised to get an 87 in Math; I was expecting 84 or 85. I think I was the highest in English since Jayson and the others got 83 or something in it. Most of my grades were line of eight, but I was pretty much contented with it. Para sa’kin, okay lang na hindi kataasan ang grade ko ng First Quarter, kaysa naman bumulusok the next quarters. At least, tataas o maintain na lang ang grades ko.

On our EP time, the top 10 were announced. Jayson was the fourth, I was the third, Steni was the second, and Jette was the first. Todo kantyaw nga kami kay Jette e. He got an average of 89 something. Ako 88 point something; points lang din ang nilaman ni Steni.

Actually, saying talaga yun si Jette. Magaling naman, napakamahiyain lang at hindi nagrerecite. Sayang lang tuloy ang grade. Kahit alam niya, hindi siya sumasagot o masyadong nagpapartcipate sa klase. Kaya nga parati kong nakakatyawan e.

Okay lang naman ang ranking ko sa klase. I was really after good grades, not good rank. Kahit naman mababa ang ranking ko, basta maayos ang grade ko, ayos lang. Naku, yung Science lang talaga humatak sa grades ko e! Super pull! Pero okay lang, si Mrs. Suinan naman yun e. Bawi na lang siguro ako. c:

First Friday Mass and English Month’s Culminating Activity

As usual, we served at the choir for the mass. I didn’t eat breakfast, and my head was throbbing a little when I got to school. Actually, rosary pa lang medyo nahihilo na ako.

Ang echos nga kasi nag-solo pa ako sa isang kanta sa first mass kaya nakantyawan pa ako ng mga kaklase ko nung bumalik ako sa room para magbihis. Culminating activity din kasi sa English e. When the second mass started, my head really hurts. My surrounding was spinning and I was feeling dizzy kaya napaupo ako. Hindi na ulit ako nakatayo kasi sobrang nahihilo na ako. Na-touch naman ako because my choirmates showed concern to me. Umalalay na lang ako sa kanila. Inalalayan pa ako ni Ablay at Remo papuntang school.

Nagsimula na kaming mag-ayos for the culminating activity. I was even somewhat irked inside kasi parang ako lang talaga yung officer na gumagalaw during the whole month. Nakakaasar kaya. Parati na lang ako yung gumagawa ng paraan. I’m not implying something here, nabu-bwisit lang talaga ako.

Pagkatapos ng culminating activity at around 3 o’clock, in-announced na tuloy ang Field Trip Monday. Ugh. Nag-uwian ng maaga, pero sabi k okay Ayyah punta kami sa kanila. Sumama din si Lea. We watched the movie ‘Up’. Umuwi rin ng maaga si Lea, at sumunod na rin ako after a few minutes kaya hindi na rin naming natapos yung pinapanood. I just borrowed the DVD.

Ang daya pa nga ng driver ng jeep na nasakyan ko pag-uwi, hanggang sa boundary lang ako binaba. Kadugaan e. At dahil sinumpong ako ng kakuriputan, nilakad ko na lang paauwi sa’min. Haha.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Classes Resumed

I prepared for school excitedly because I'm really glad that classes have resumed. Though I'm still doubting it if there are classes or not because of the news, I went happily to school, and saw other Liceans walking their way to school.

As usual, we assembled in the quadrangle for the daily rosary. Though it had been continuously raining for days, this morning was a sticky and a little warm. And irritating. I let my hair down pa naman.

A certain first year section was the one who led the rosary. And I was really pissed with the first year level eversince because they're bunch of... irritating kids. And I was even more irritated with them when a certain girl sang the songs in a really really really out of tune way. I don't know why it really got me pissed, but they just make blood boil.

I went to Basil's room because Ayyah asked me to take home some of her things last Friday because she have lots of things to bring home. And I was about to return it her. But she wasn't in the class. Uh. The choir members in Basil started to apologize for not coming last Saturday. Of course I understand. They asked me what happened, and who attended, and I started to tell them what everything happened. Everything. And they were laughing and teasing me afterwards.

I went back to my room. This morning was quite uneventful. I was laughing and teasing and laughing and joking and laughing really hard with Jette and Steni and Jayson like we always used to.

We all forgot to bring poster/water color for our Arts class. And I forgot to bring my sketch pad. We were asked to draw and paint an animal using the primary colors only. We could mix them up if we wanted to achieve other colors, though.

And because I didn't have my sketch pad or my poster paint, I didn't do anything. Well, I could find a way so I could draw, but really, I'm not in the mood. x( And I don't like drawing or writing when I am not in the mood. Especially it's an animal! And I am not good in drawing animals.

Inokray-okray namin yung gawa ni Jette. He was supposedly drawing a turtle, and well, it looks like a cave. Haha. And then we did something on it and it looked like a cap. I was really laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.

I went home for lunch. And Mama left the key inside the house! We tried to open it, but it won't open. I told her that we should break the door. She called on the landlady, and good thing she have duplicate keys. Yay!

Mama need to go to office at 1pm, so I used the computer. The phone rang at quarter to two, and it was Ayyah. She was asking me--no, ordering is the right term--meet her in MiniStop. She skipped her morning classes because she woke up late, and we had agreed last night to see each other and babble together. I told her I was using the computer, but she's persistent. The little witch. She gave me 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes. And I still had to take a bath and all.

It was raining again when I went out of the outside. I frowned at the weather. Not that I hate the rain--I love it, even--but this is all too abnormal.

Ayyah wasn't still in MiniStop, so I went back to my house to get her things she asked me to bring home because I forgot it. I saw her at the street. Because MiniStop was somewhat crowded, we went to 7eleven and bought coffee. We talked and babbled about things, and I told her na naiinis ako sa kanya at kay Lea dahil naglulumandi sila, samantalang ako e hindi. It's unpeyr!

At that moment, I realized that my friends are growing up. Even Ayyah and Lea. For a swift moment, I felt panic at one corner of my heart. Because Ayyah and Lea are like me in some ways, and we've seen each other lives, and they aren't really girly-girly girls, just like me, kahit pa sabihin may mga kalandian kami sa katawan. And they're growing up, while me, I'm being left behind.

But really, I am happy for them. Kinukunsinti ko pa nga ang mga kalandian nila. 8D

And maybe, it was because they're growing up, and me, I matured... emotionally. And the situation that I am into doesn't allow me na magmalandi, because the identity my special someone should be kept a secret. *shot*

We went back to school five minutes before 3pm. My socks were already soaking when we got to school because of the rain and I couldn't keep like that for three hours, so I went back home to change socks. I gave Dizon my bag so I wouldn't be accused as late. But I realized that it will all be the same--my socks would be wet again by the time I reach school, so I grabbed a pair of wedges instead. Besides, my shoes were soaking too.

Jette and Steni were wearing slippers, and they told me na super heels ako. They were teasing me about how small my feet were. Like me always defense, I answered them that I would be a 'thing' to the Chinese because I got little feet, and Chinese are rich! Haha! Dizon even smelled my feet (really he placed his nose on it!), and it's smelly daw. HAH! I snicked at him and just raised a brow because I know they don't smell. He even measured my feet with a ruler. Eight inches! XD

Mr. del Rio, by some miracle, didn't attend classes. There were a lot of absents too and we were just twenty-something. We didn't had our English class too. And they kept on teasing and teasing me about my feet. Okay lang naman, I'm pretty much contented with who and what I am and I don't really care if I am small or what. Small things are cute, btw! *shot*

I went to Basil's room so I could walk home with Ayyah. I saw her crying at the locker's area with Revilla comforting her. Lea came and we comforted her together. Uhm, I think I know the reason. And when I asked her, I was right.

"Anu ka ba, 'wag mong pinapansin yung ibang tao nu. Hayaan mo nga sila. Sinong bang nagkakasala, ikaw ba? Hindi. And besides, aanhin mo ang mga taong hindi ka binibigyan ng importansya kung alam mo namang may mga kaibigan kang handang i-accept ka. Nagtatampo ako sa'yo, kinakalimutan mo na yatang may mga kaibigan ka! Nandito kami o!" I told her.

She hushed later. And before we went home, we headed first to PEAC to pray.

I decided to make my Arts activity tonight. I even asked my friends in YM what animal is good to draw. Miya said,a bird (Ibong Adarna! XD); Karu-chan, a parrot; and Ariane... a carabao! LOL. I chose the parrot. Here's the finished product:

Although it wasn't really that awesome, I'm proud of myself because I was able to draw an animal. Yeeha! Btw, the thing that the parrot is looking into is a snail. The colors weren't really that good in my webcam. DX

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Nothing Really Matters

No, no. This is not an angsty post. And though this one is days late, I'll still post it now. :)

Though I usually keep a confident attitude, I also get worried about what other people will think about me. I am such an eccentric person, and often misunderstood too. I know people have different opinions about me--positive ones, and probably more negative thoughts.

Though I say that people's opinions don't really matter, of course they somewhat affect me too. In everything I do, I cannot help but think of what other people will say. I may ignore them, but at the back of my mind, what they say will always have an impact on me, no matter how little it may seem.

But when my friends are with me, do they really matter? When the people I love are ready to accept me for who and what I am, are they really important? No. My friends--the people that I value most--they are the real important persons to me.

Their opinion are what really matters to me. What they think of me is what's really important. The world may turn it's back on me., but when I see them smile at me, I would be okay. Other people may think too little of me, but when I know that my friends are ready to accept me, it doesn't really matter. People who pretend to me my "friends" may say bad things about me--on my back or straight to my face--but when I know that the people I cherish really understand me and love me, nothing really matters.

Nothing really matters but them. My friends. Real friends.

I'm glad that you continue to stay with me through and through. I'm glad that you're always there for me. On the surface, I may look okay, but beneath, I was trying to mend myself. And you stayed with me, enduring my tantrums and caprices. You never left me. You help me bring my self-esteem back.

I don't know what I did to deserve people as awesome as you are. Thank you guys!

You may not be able to read this blog entry, but I will make you feel how thankful am I to have friends as good as you are. Thank you. You are all the best!

Blogs That I Follow

Since I am being bored and I wanted to blog but I don't have something to share because I was just here in the house, I'll just post the blogs that I usually visit. :)

A Little Voice Within
(http://chibivy.wordpress.com)

- My private blog in Wordpress. Some posts are password-protected so you can't read them without asking me what the password is. x)

An Angel's Unfolded Wings
(http://rookie-chan.livejournal.com)

- Ayyah's blog in LJ. I was telling her to move to Blogger na but she just love her LJ the way I blog my BS. Her posts are 'For Friends Only' so you can't read them if you aren't her friend in LJ.

Automatic Petals
(http://automaticpetals.blogspot.com)

- Ariane's blog. I usually have the tab of her blog open while I'm doing things in my computer because I lalalalove the songs in it. Piano instrumentals are really soothing; working on my PC without a background music is kinda lame and other songs are just too distracting, and really, I am beginning to adore Yiruma now. XD

balut & natto
(http://garando.blogspot.com)

- I saw this link in Japinoy.com forums. This is about Garando, a Filipino, and his Japanese wife, Garandee. I find his stories humorous, too.

Drawing Imperfect Circles
(http://ruchichan.blogspot.com)

- Ruchi/Lucille's blog. I find the name of her blog cute. I was actually thinking of a verb + adjective + noun name for my new official blog in BS.

Dreams in the Dusk
(http://silverdusk07.blogspot.com)

- Louise blog. I find her picture posts cute too because they were edited in an anime-ish way. Plus her blog music is a piano instrumental too so it's lalalove.

I, for one, forbid you.
(http://lavendermassacre.blogspot.com)

- Mau's blog. Before, I have hard time visiting her site because I always mistook the spelling of lavender as lavander. LOL. /stupid self.

LUCKYVONNE
(http://luckyvonne.blogspot.com)

- Ate Jhaey's blog. It was actually her that made me think of Blogger when I was thinking of putting up an "online diary" because I saw her blog link in Friendster. She seems to be in hiatus, though.

Someday, we will find what we're living for.
(http://fiction-junkie.blogspot.com)

- Karuru's blog. Just recently linked her blog and added it in my Blogs I'm Following in my Dashboard.

Stapled Rainbow
(http://tracinginfinity.blogspot.com)

I stapled a rainbow in my notebook. Mine forever to keep. To hope for little happiness in my deep sleep.

- Cabel's blog. I find her blog name and blog description, as well as her blog URL, cute (Sorry, I don't know the blog description of the others because you're using a "blogskin".) The name of my new offcial blog could be a adj + n or v + n too! I think she's also moving to WP, though?

The Foolish Traveler
(http://thefoolishtraveler.wordpress.com)

- Formerly using BS, Kriselle is now a WP user. I find her college life kewl. Plus the conversation she posts are funny too!

The Pancake Batter Anomaly
(http://thepancakebatteranomaly.blogspot.com)

- Aina's blog. I find her blog name cute too. I heard it's from a program whatsoever named The Big Bang Theory or something? (Don't know, sorry). Her layout is very LJ-ish too. :)

Yay! <3
(http://syntaxerrorboom.blogspot.com)

- Apyl-neechan's blog. I think she's on hiatus, though, because her last post was like, uhm, last August?

I used to follow some other blogs too (like those of my former classmates'), but I unfollow blogs that were abandoned by the owner. These blogs were currently the blogs that I follow.

One thing I love Blogger is that it allows me to follow blogs and check out whenever they have new posts agad. Well, at the bottom part of the Dashboard, you could click the Add button, the type the URL of the blog you want to follow, hit Next, and so on and so forth. Whenever the people that I follow made a new post in their blogs, I was able to know because it is shown in the Reading List plus the except of their post, instead of always visiting the site to check out for new posts. I could also follow other blog sites other than Blogger too.

Visit 'em too!




P.S.
I hope you guys don't mind me putting the link of your blogs in this post. Or... do you?

Monday, September 28, 2009

No Classes

Classes were suspended today because of Ondoy. I didn't know if I should be happy about it or what.

I woke up at four in the morning, but ended up sleeping in the couch until 5am. When I woke up again, I turned on the television to watch the news if there are suspended or not.

I never liked the idea of having no classes because it means staying at the house, but for a swift moment, I wanted the classes to be canceled. I was kinda lazy to prepare and go to school, and my uniform weren't pressed yet so I would have to do that before going to school and I was lazy to do that too, plus Filipino project wasn't still complete. And with this kind of weather, I just want to snooze off the whole day.

But thinking about school, the desire to have the classes suspended burst like a bubble. Cards' giving was supposed to be today, and--through I am a bit nervous about my grades--I am excited to see it. Class picture was supposed to be today too. Plus Adrian would be going to Manila for the National Top Outstanding Boy Scout and I want to wish him a goodluck. And for some reason, I don't want to miss a day in school now. And I wouldn't be able to see my special someone, too. *shot*

Our telephone was malfunctioning so I went to school instead to know if there are classes or not. The outer gate was locked, and on the inner gate, there was a posted announcement that there will be no classes today. Field trip will also be re-scheduled.

I felt somewhat dismayed. No classes? It means no baon (I'm saving money for the field trip), and no special someone.

I went back to the house. I couldn't sleep anymore so I watch a DVD once more. I spent the whole day reading a book and soundtripping. When I called Ayyah, I learned from her that there would be no classes tomorrow too. /sob

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Stormy Saturday

It was already raining when I got up at 5:30 in the morning. We have a CAT training today at 7am that's why I got up early even I still want top curl up in my bed and sleep.

The wind was so strong outside. When I got to school, Arpon told me that the training was suspended due to the storm. Well, it wasn't really raining that hard, but the wind was strong. May bagyo nga yata.

I stayed at the school for a while. When I went back home, I decided to watch DVD. I was really worried about the mass in the afternoon because it is PEAC's anniversary celebration and Ate Beth told me when we had a meeting that it would be a high mass. I forgot to remind Sir Bautista yesterday for that. I was also worried that only a few choir members would be coming because of the strong rain. Ayyah already PMed me in YM, telling me she won't be able to come because she had a sore throat and was feeling bad. Tan called me up and told me she couldn't come because Pacita was flooded. Tsk.

I still prepared to go to the school for the choir, though. Pumunta si Mama sa Metropolis para bumili ng ink para sa printer namin at sabi niya 'wag daw akong umalis hangga't wala pa yung pinsan ko dahil walang kasama yung kapatid ko. Pero nung nag-2 o'clock na, sumaglit muna ako sa school para sabihin sa mga ka-choir ko na male-late ako. Si Arbu lang ang nadatnan ko.

It was nearly 3pm when my cousin came. I don't usually bring umbrella, but I took one with me because it's raining really hard. Todo hawak nga ako sa payong dahil super lakas ng hangin.

Si Arbu pa rin lang ang nadatnan ko. Stranded ang mga second year na nag-recollection sa school. Sabi ni Ms. Rasdas, 'wag silang umuwi ng walang sundo, kahit sa school na sila matulog. We could see the droplets of the rain whirling around like a whirlpool because of the strong wind. At feeling din namin na wala nang makakadating. Tinawag pa nga namin si Jas na ang bahay ay nasa tabi lang ng school, pero hindi si makakapunta. Baha ang harap ng bahay nila. Eday was our last hope. He told me yesterday that he will come after doing his thesis. But when we text him, he replied to us that he can't probably come dahil baha sa United at walang masasakyan.

Sheda. Duet kami ni Arbu nito sa misa.

The second year students who were stranded were brought home by the teachers. Inuwi sila sa boarding house nila at nag-abiso na lang sa guard. Yung mga babae yata, kila Ms. Varcas at yung mga lalaki ay kila Sir Liwag. They were telling us to go home and not to attend mass because of the storm, but of course, we couldn't and we wouldn't.

Sabi rin ng guard na umuwi na kami at baha na sa tapat ng Liceo. And when we looked outside, true enough, the streets were flooded. We decided to go to the church. "We can do this, Arbu! We can do this!" I was chanting. We rolled our pants to our knees at lumusong kami sa baha. Grabe, first time kong ginawa yun! Malapit na sa tuhod namin yung baha. I was holding tightly on Arbu dahil baka matangay ako sa liit kong ito. I tried to shake away the thoughts of the kind of things we were probably stepping on. At nakaraos naman kami.

There are some people at the side of the church who we think are "evacuees" because they have bag of clothes with them. I asked the lay minister kung tuloy ang misa. Tuloy daw. Dalawang lay minister nga lang ang nandun, at dalawa kaming choir. I asked them if we could wash our feet dahil nga lumusong kami sa baha at tinuro nila yung gripo sa kumbento.

There are no lights inside the church because of the brown out, except on the altar part which is probably being run by the generator. Dun na lang kami puwesto sa baba.

"Tuloy ang misa; walang holiday sa simbahan." was what Arbu had said. Amidst the storm, I feel a warmth inside. Look, we are facing a calamity, and yet, we were at the church, going to celebrate the mass. God is our refuge. This is our devotion. And though I am not a really pious and good person, I am proud because I didn't not let the storm hinder me in singing for the mass, in serving God.

Only a few people were there. One lay minister was the one who read the first reading because there is only one lector. The church was quiet. But looking at those people who listen intently on the mass, I could see hope in their faces. Na para bang ipinagpapasa-Diyos na nila ang nagaganap.

Tig-isa pa kami ng mic ni Arbu. Break the record. Sa buong buhay ko sa choir, limang members lang ang pinaka-konting dumating, until now. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, kung wala siyang masakyan dahil taga-Langgam pa siya, kalampagin niya na lang ako sa bahay at sa'min na siya matulog.

Naidaos naman ang misa. Maaga pa ngang natapos. Hindi na baha sa labas at hindi na ganun kalakas ang ulan. At kahit bumabagyo na, nagkayayaan pa rin kami ni Arbu na mag-7eleven. Pero wala, sarado ang 7eleven at baha sa loob. Punta naman kami sa kwek-kwekan, pero wala din kahit isang nagtitinda sa tapat ng school. Punta kami sa Mini-Stop para mag-ice cream (ang lakas ng trip e), kaso wala daw silang ice cream. Kaya 'yon, umuwi na lang kami.

Brown out sa'min. Nung nagka-ilaw na, lumabas ako para alamin kung may masasakyan ba si Arbu. Pumunta ako sa may terminal ng jeep. Yung kalsada kila Eday, baha, pati na rin yung highway. Super lusong pa rin ako sa baha. Nung malapit na ako sa terminal, mali ang tapak ko at lumubog ako hanggang bewang. Sheda. Ang lambot pa naman ng natapakan ko. Kung hindi kanal yun, baka yung parang manhole. Kinilabutan ako dahil nag-flash bigla sa isip ko kung manhole yung natapakan ko, kaya balik ako sa may sidewalk. Hinintay ko na lang hanggang makasakay si Arbu.

Grabe. Super salanta ang ginawa ng bagyong Ondoy. The news is all about it. Kahit mga artsita nasalanta na.

Nang magka-kuryente na ulit, I opened the computer. I remember the movie that Arbu was telling me a while ago about the end of the world. 2012. And it somewhat gave me creeps.

Friday, September 25, 2009

English Week

It is English week, and because I am an officer in the Lingua Franca, I was kinda busy for this week.

We had activities and contests for the English week, so I was always excused in the class. I even became the photographer for the events. Yay! Puro nga si Sir Luna yung laman ng pictures. Photo opportunity nga daw. Really, I seem to be whirling around. Well, I guess I just wanted to prove our English advisers that I am doing my job unlike the others who seem to be just standing at the corner *shot*.

And because I was excused in the class, Jette was the one who carried my bad whenever our section moves from one place to another. Really, thank you Jette. And also to Jayson who carried my Religion book and Koleen who helped Jette. LOL. XD

Yesterday, we were the one who led the rosary. And I was the one to sing. I managed to find five Marian songs. Arrogance aside, I think I sang it well, pero kinapos ako dun sa isang kanta. Isang word lang yung kinapos ko. But I've really proven that people tend to see the small dot in the paper rather the whole paper itself. I mean, I just made one mistake, but people remembered it after the rosary. Oh well. *0*

The quiz bee contest was held yesterday. And our participant? Dizon and Mikko. Gah. I kept on bugging Jette to join, and even Jayson, but they didn't give in. Nako, super mahiyain kasi, ayaw ng exposure. So those two guys became the representative our section. Natatawa pa nga yung mga English teacher sa kanila. And whenever they got the right answer, especially Dizon, everyone is clapping and "whoo!"-ing. LOL. Binantayan ko talaga si Dizon because he was cheating! Kapal ng muka! Ayun, naasar pa kami, special mention ni Sir Luna over the microphone. At the end, Dizon got the lowest score, and Mikko was second to the last. LOL. Adrian was the one who won, anyway. :)

This morning, I reported the lesson that was assigned to us in our Religion class. It was supposedly a group report and I just didn't know what the others did. ;___; Well, we had already reported the first part last Wednesday, but I think my report sucks. I mean, biglaan kasi. We didn't expect that we were already the one to report. But I think I made it up today. :)

Since it was St. Basil Odyssey play today, they were so busy preparing for it. Their play was on 2pm. Hindi pa nga daw sila masyadong prepared dahil hindi pa super nakapag-practice. I told them they could do it because I have great faith in their section.

I really wanted to watch but my 3pm class is Math, Mr. del Rio. I asked Mr. Luna if I could be excused from my class for the play but when I told it that my first period in the afternoon is Math, sabi niya agad sa'kin, "Ay nako, 'wag na. Pumasok ka na!" LOL. Mr. del Rio kasi e.

So I went early to school in the afternoon to watch the play. I even helped Jesta in curling her hair. The play started at 2:30. And it's awesome. Remo painted his whole body blue because he's Poseidon. Adrian was Odysseus. And bonggang-bonggang production. 'Di pa sila prepared nun ah.

But we weren't able to continue watching when 3 o'clock came. Mr. Luna even reminded us about the time. So we went to our classroom even we badly want to watch the play. We could've cut classes if only it weren't Math. But of course, we were all afraid to defy Mr. del Rio. x)

After Math, we ran back to the auditorium and didn't even bother to ask permission from Mrs. Lopena. LOL. Okay lang 'yun.

Ending na nga yung naabutan natin. Sayang. I mentally noted myself to ask permission from the Basilians to watch the video. Ang kulit nga nila Arnold dun sa dulo, naging kenkoy. Pero okay pa rin naman. Nakakatuwa nga. Hindi na nga daw nila na-practice yung dulo na 'yon kaya nilaro na lang nila. But they still got high points for that. "If there is a grade higher that 100, then that's your grade," was Mr. Luna's words.

After classes, I went to St. Basil again to walk home with Ayyah. Ayoko pa kasing umuwi ng maaga dahil wala sila Mama. They went to Enchanted Kingdom because Iverie didn't join in the Field Trip. So nag-EK na lang sila ng sarili nila dahil dun din naman ang place na pupuntahan. So wala akong kasama sa bahay.

So kila Eday ako sumama. Pero matapos hintayin, bigla din akong umalis dahil magpe-PEAC pa pala ako. When I got home, I got somewhat scared. LOL. So I quickly changed my shirt and took two pocketbooks para papalitan dun sa pinapalitan ko. Kuya Roger's store was closed, unfortunately. Nung mapadaan ako sa 7eleven, nandun sila Eday so I went in. Niloko pa nga nila ako kasi iba na shirt ko. I stayed in there since wala rin naman akong kasama sa bahay. Kung anu-anong napagkwentuhan. Nabanggit pa nga nila na special mention daw ako ni Ms. Yorro sa kanila dahil dun sa pagkanta ko sa rosary e. Woot! x)

Seven-thirty na rin kami umuwi and hinatid pa ako ni Adrian dahil umuulan. Niloko na naman ako na managinip daw ulit akong manalo siya sa TOBS. He will be in Manila from Monday to Thursday for that.

I am kinda tired today. But I am happy. This week is awesome. : )

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Failed

Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.


I really felt so stupid. Utterly stupid.

I failed in our Second Monthly Examination. Got 29 out of 60. Equivalent to 74%.

And I am such a moron.

The test was actually easy. Really, the first part of the exam was a chicken. Multiplication of polynomials. Shet.

And the reason why I failed is because I wasn't able to answer Test I-B. Not because it was hard or I didn't know how to answer it. It was because I forgot to answer it.

I got sort of confused with the last part, and I got low score on that too. But it was forgivable for me because I didn't know what I will gonna do with that. I just couldn't take that I failed because I forgot to answer that stupid part. Shit.

Ayoko pa naman ng ganun. I don't like leaving blanks on my test paper, kahit 'di ko alam ang sagot. Feeling ko kasi, natalo ako ng walang kalaban-laban. I don't like losing without fighting. Without giving effort.

But there, I failed. And what's annoying is that part really easy for me. I wouldn't have failed if I answer that. Sheda. Dahil nakalimutan lang. Engot.

Nagkamali ako hindi dahil sa kabobohan. Nagkamali ako dahil sa katangahan. And for me, it's worse. Being stupid is worse than being an idiot.

Nakakainis talaga. At nakakahiya. Nung nagrerecord na si Mr. del Rio, sabi niya, "Ang baba Nobleza ah. Nako, bababa grades mo nito." He said my score was even lower than Nortez.

I was a little bit whining over that. Really, I was surprised to know that I forgot to answer that test. Because I thought I actually answered it. Jette and Steni sort of comforted me. Monthly lang naman daw 'yun. And at least, I am good at English, they said. Jette enumerated the positive points about me, like I could speak in good English, and I sing well. Things that he cannot do, not every people can do. Sabi niya, there might be a reason for that. Like there would be a blessing to come in exchange for that.

And it made me somewhat better. I mean, I got to realize that I am still lucky. I told myself I'll really make up that failed monthly exam in my recitation. I'll really make up on it. The feeling of having a failing score--especially in a major subject--is not good. Totally awful.

Medyo nakarecover din naman ako. I am the not the kind of person who sulks over things for a long time. Hindi ako ganun grabe manghinayang. I don't know if that's good or bad.

Really, I would try to make up for it.